How should i handle this? fucked up situation

C

c-wayne

Member
so,knew this girl for like 2 years and never paid her any special attention. This winter at work (were both instructors) we kinda hit it off as friends because i found out she long boards and we just get along well together. About 2 months ago we started long boarding together and everything was just friendly. Once after boarding we got dinner and things escalated from there. We started chillin more and she would call me once a day. Classic shit right?

We went to a party about 3 weeks ago and ended up kissing and later had sex. A few days later we chilled had a good time and had sex again. Then the next time we went to a party she got really drunk and i found her behind a tree crying and found out she is in a weird "long distance relationship" with some military guy in cuba. They see each other a few days a year two times a year and she proceeded to tell me how much she loves him and got all weird on me. Later that night i fucked her brains out again....

We continued chillin alot and i started getting feelings wich is weird for me because i usually never get feelings for anyone, and then i found out this guy is comming home in like a week. She told me she doesnt wanna see me when hes here because shes in love with him and wants to keep there stupid ldr thing going. I told her even as just a friend her relationship with him isnt healthy and how i kinda thought we had something good and that she should maybe let him go. She kind of agreed but still wants to see him.

Even though this guy came back yesterday we planned a 3day vacation at the beach. Vacation was awesome and we got closer i feel like and had sex a bunch.

So i said goodbye to her when i dropped her off and i felt weird knowing shes gonna like go back to this poor guy and be his girlfriend or whatever for the 10 days hes here right after she spent 3 days with me laying on the beach and fucking like it was our honeymoon. Im at the point with her that i dont have much of feelings for her but do genuinely enjoy the friends with benefits thing thats been going on with us and kindof dont want to loose her to this guy. Im not mad about the whole thing because i feel like im comming out ontop on this situation because im getting all i want, good times with a cool girl and lots of sex for the summer, i just feel kinda grossed out shes just gonna go back to this guy like nothing happened with me and her and then will probably come back to me like nothing happened. is my head on right with this? I feel like what shes doing is really fucked up and kind of ridiculous? Im not upset i just feel bad for the other guy kinda.

She invited me to her grad party tomorow and this guys gonna be there and idk if i wanna see them together so i dont think im gonna go. If he wasn't gonna be there id definitely go. I dont know what to tell her tomorrow when she asks why im not going. Im thinking of straightup telling her seeing her with another guys gonna turn me orr and kinda gross me out. Or what should i say? what does ns think? im 20 and shes 19 btw

 
Well after Finding out about that why would you still want to date her? she's obviously a whore who cheats in relationships.
 
hmmmm well I read all of it surprisingly, and im gonna go with tell her how your feeling because it seems shes liking what your pitchin haha and she will make the decision weather or not your going any farther.
 
She might have been crying because she realizes she either still likes her man AND likes you, or she doesn't like her man and now she likes you. Pose to her the option of a polyamorous relationship, maybe?

Or let their relationship run its course and be there for her when they're done. You don't really have options here, but you never know. He might be amenable to you being with her as long as you disclose your relationship while he's gone so she gets sexual fulfillment while maintaining a loving relationship with him (and possibly you).
 
This. I can't believe you fucked a girl who was dating a soldier overseas. I know she probably threw it at you and you were thinking with your dick, but christ man. I'd blow my brains out if that shit happened to me.
 
I'm sorry I didn't mean date, I meant still be with her. she's eventually gonna find another guy and drop you.
 
shes a slut, your a douchebag, and her BF is prob some meathead who is gonna try to break your neck when he finds out about this. your all perfect for each other
 
So you're gonna fuck up some guys relationship because he's out serving the country and you wanna get your dick wet?
 
you definitely don't need to be in the same room as that other guy. what she's doing is fucked. and she should choose. honestly, if i were you, i'd move on because she sounds like a bag of trouble. there are tons of other chicks you'll meet and have sex with. not worth it.
 
Come on people, SHE is the one in a relationship, not the op. SHE is the one who should have a moral compass. She didnt drop the bf bomb until after they hooked up. She is a shitty person for sure for cheating. OP you need to get her to end it on one of the ends, and then continue to swim in the wetness.
 
Although the sex may be cool and stuff go find someone else. At the end of the day she is a cheating lying bitch and pursuing anything with her would be dumber than shit. Drop her like a sack of wet rocks man. You don't wanna get involved with that mess. Go find some other girl.
 
nope, i just got feelings for our sex. its awesome. she also buys me chinese food all the time which is great too. So what im getting from this is its not just in my head ad indeed this is completely fucked right?

I dont know what to say. i was thinking of just not answering her calls anymore and distancing myself a bit and seeing how she reacts. hopefully shell miss me and come for me all the way and if she doesn't ill just let her fade away. it sucks because if it wasn't for this ridiculous relationship shes in id probably consider wifeing her up. This has completely ruined my outlook on her
 
Heres your problem. Shoulda stopped right there. Considering youve gone this far after Id say theres no hope. I mean honestly, whats the best situation that can come from this?
 
hahahahahahahahahahaha sure, bro.

Also, I hate to break it to you, but despite how cool you are for never caring about anyone except yourself, it seems like you like this girl. Guess you aren't as much of a bro as you thought you were
 
First off: Its proven she is a cheating hoe. And second off, theres no way in hell it would ever end up as anything if you just have sex all of the time because just like last time she is going to get bored with you and throw you off to the side, and since you are growing feelings for her , thats going to blow.

RUN AWAY
 
you said "friends with benefits" and then "dont want to lose her to this guy". Seems like you think you are getting serious and want to be serious while she doesnt. You gotta choose if you would rather be friends with benefits or not friends at all because those seem like the only 2 options
 
Jesus some of you kids are retards. And once again Jenifa strikes again with a ironic comment that is completely moronic.

The OP is completely okay here doing what he is doing. He isn't cheating, he isn't a bad person for "stealing" away this guys girl. This is a MUTUAL relationship, the girl is consenting to do this, no one is forcing her hand. By you guys saying "wow he should take the moral high ground" or shit like that it implies the girl doesn't deserve to have the right to make decisions for herself, pretty much the opposite of a feminist POV. The girl is in a long distance relationship with some guy she barley sees, not like she is married and has 2 kids, then I could see the argument of how this is possibly unethical for OP to do.

Point is, the chick is cheating I guess, even though I really wouldn't call what they have much of a relationship and frankly I think she is disillusioned with her feelings. But she is cheating and without question I think that is fucked up and I personally could never date someone who has cheated, even if it is with me. But please don't try and imply some fucked up moral compass in the OP's situation here, he should base this decision simply on the fact if he wants to be involved with the emotional consequences of a "love triangle," and if the chick is even worth it. Not if what he is doing is wrong...

OP my advice to you is be clear with the girl you like her and like where things are heading, but you don't want to be apart of this triangle and she needs to decide what she wants to do. Essentially give her a ultimatum.
 
i see nothing wrong with this. just tell her to enjoy her time with him and dont talk to her at all until he leaves. when hes gone, resume everything
 
I don't know, I feel like you should have broken it off as soon as you discovered she was in a long distance relationship with that overseas soldier.

But then, I guess when you're drunk at a party, it's pretty hard to say no to the V, but godd
 
Damnit accident reply hit

So, I was saying, BUT GODAMNIT OP, planning a sex marathon at the beach with the chick when that poor fella is back home ?

That's fuuuucked up.

Anyway I don't see any future here for you, would you seriously consider committing to that girl knowing she's the kind of women who would repeatedly cheat on an overseas soldier, even when he's home once a year ?

I know I wouldn't.
 
Listen to me. This girl obviously likes you or she wouldn't be fucking you and buying you Chinese food.

The long distance relationship isn't going to turn into marriage but it's probably been going on for a while and will probably continue for the foreseeable future. Even if she tells him 'it's over' during this visit, the next time he's in town they will hook up. That's inevitable.

It's messed up that she's going to spend the next 10 days fucking this guy and pretending everything is cool with him then as soon as he leaves she's going to crawl back to you...but if you can handle that, then carry on as you are. I wouldn't bother with the whole ultimatum thing, they guy will be gone again in 10 days so she'll just tell you whatever she thinks you want to hear.

This isn't the type of girl you want to wife, but if you can keep your feelings in check, then there's no harm in you having fun with her. However, you've got to be prepared for the fact that if this other guy finds out, he's gonna be pissed with you. Don't let her play you, be clear this is just friends with benefits and if she tries to turn it into something more, walk away. And obviously you've got no reason to be at that grad party. Just tell her you have other plans.
 
I agree! Bad road to travel. Just fuck her, no getting attached man! Why wouldn't she cheat on you as well? She sounds like the one to hurt you..
 
haha I wonder what it's going to be like when he puts you in a chokehold an body slams you through a table, pretty wild I'd imagine.
 
of course, but can't be as bad as the kid who claims to fuck girls' "brains out." If you have to say it, it isn't true.
 
It is kinda low to do this to someone. I'm not talking about the girl but the guy in Cuba. No doubt he is already stressed and worrying about his girlfriend being so far away. Then you come in and start fucking her? Thats pretty sleazy.
 
Holy shit, this video 100% relevant. We used to play this song, drunk, at 3 a.m.
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Good news for OP, according to the video he lives, but he doesn't get the girl.
 
careful dude..I stole a dude's chick when i was younger and now am scared of hanging out with that guy even though he doesn'T know

depends on your morals.

you might be all good

the girl is a slot
 
Just sit back and let things work themselves out. Don't go to her grad, and if she asks you why not be like because that guy is there. I'd personally be kind of cold to her until she makes a decision, she'll want you more.
 
just play it cool and have fun. get tested tho i mean the dude lives in cuba you never know what hes gonna bring back to her. dont get all jealous thats not cool
 
1. You've known this girl for how long and never knew she had a boyfriend? Sounds kinda fishy, but possible, i'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

2. You never take a Soldier's woman. They for 1 are trained in the art of destruction, which you don't want to see, but that is beside the point. HE IS DEFENDING YOUR FREEDOM ON THIS LAND and this is how he is thanked.

3. I will aslo say this is not 100% your fault, i'm not trying to insinuate that.

4. You need to end it with her until things are settled between him and her. Especially if you don't necessarily have crazy feelings for her and are just riding a good situation, if she wants to end it with him she has to do it on her own, not because she's forced into it by you guys hooking up.
 
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