How shallow can people be?

1080ski

Active member
i was talking to a friend of mine and the subject of girlfriends came up. i gave him my view on it, which is that you shouldnt go out with somebody unless you actually love them (not just want to hook up or whatever). i asked my friend if he actually loved his girlfriend and he told me that he didnt, then proceeded to say that you dont have to love somebody to go out with them. is it just me, or is he a retard? the bad thing about this is, that i feel like most highschool relationships are like this. they only do it for sex/head/hooking up. i think that for 2 people to go out they should actually love eachother, then sex/all that good stuff should come as a result of that.

who agrees with me? who wants to try to convince me that im wrong?
 
Most Highschoolers don't know what love is. Only enfatuation, lust, and an emotional/ physical attraction.

I recently got back together with my ex, though we still arent "official" yet, and after a session of enjoying each others company... Heavily... hehe, and after she had a beer, she told me she thought she was in love with me 'again'.

Haha this is after 2 years of me being single and being a mild player by partying it up and hooking up with other chicks so obviously I don't know what love is.

THE POINT OF THIS IS (got a little sidetracked...) That you can date somebody just to get to know them better, and if you really enjoy their company you don't have to love them yet. Love comes with time, and experiences.
 
I partially agree. I don't think you need to be "in love" with them.. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that nearly all high school relationships don't involve "love", but more like "feelings" for eachother. But yeah, I think hook ups are lame. It's so much more satisfying when you like the person. Just an opinion though..
 
alright i guess that makes sense. i should have phrased it this way. relationships should start out as more than the fact that "i think she is cute, i want to hook up with her" and more on the fact that "i really enjoy being with this person and i have deeper feelings than i do with anybody else." if it turns out to just hooking up, but their relationship is shit, i dont think they should date
 
Jea, there's a difference between hooking up and having a relationship. In general I like to go stag, but there are some chicks who happen to be hella attractive and one of my best friends too... And when shit happens with them it hits home on a deeper level, often spurring a relationship.

But mostly I just hook up haha
 
A relationship is different based on what 2 people want. If 2 people want something deeply commited thats cool. Others may prefer a source of easy sex and simple enjoyment
 
i think that is somewhat true but most kids don't know much about love. i do think that there should be some connection between them instead of just hooking up
 
i dont have a problem with 2 people that just want to have sex, but if the label it as "going out" or "dating," then it kind of implys that they are actually in love, so i dont think that they should act like they are in love just so they can elope
 
Highschool doesn't matter all that much. i'm dating a girl now and I say I love her and that means past the sex and all that. We havent' had sex in a while and I love her. I want to be with her every minute. I guess it doesn't mean much when youre younger.
 
I agree that people should not be in a relationship just for sex. But from my experience, this problem pretty much disappears in college. There is a lot less of a taboo about just hooking up and people can, at least for a while, be okay with just having sex.
 
who are you to say what two other peoples' relationship should be? as long as theyre both in agreement...let them be!

if you want to only date a girl if you love her, thats fine... but dont impose your standards on others
 
one day you will be an old man with a bad back and limp dick that dosnt work. and you will walk around lookin at them highschool bitches and say "goddamit! why didnt i fuck around more when i was young!?"
 
some people go out cuz they like hanging out with eachother. not all couples love eachother. sometimes that comes a lot later on in the relationship.
 
Everyone has there own opinion/interpretation of love. Some peoples opinion/interpretation on it is very different for what ever reason. As for if you need to be in love with a person to "go out" or whatever with them, i don't think you need to be. As someone earlier said, you may want to go out with someone because you enjoy their company or you care for the person. Sex is almost always inevitable because you have 2 horney people that need to get a nut off or want to feel the wonderful sensation of have sex. There also is a huge difference between making love and having sex. if you don't think there is maybe you have really made love yet. As for me i am 25 and about to get married in 4 1/2 months. I really love the girl i about to marry. I have been with her for almost 7 yrs and think about her night and day. when i do thing with/for her i am always thinking about her feeling and if she wants to do it or is having fun or whatever. i want to hang out with her and please her and just have her involved in my life in almost every way. There are people out there that may read this and may even bash what i have said but like my grandpa said:

Opinions are like ass holes, every one has on, and every one thinks the other persons stinks.
 
most high school relationships aren't really about love and that doesn't really matter, you can date someone because you think they're cool and hot, and you have fun together, fucking or otherwise

nothing wrong with that
 
i belive there is a difference between a loving relationship, and just a relationship. they can progress to love, but how many start out like that ? not very many...
 
first, i agree with whoever said that you shouldnt be judging people on the state of their relationship. thats the same kind of attitude that comes with people bitching about gay marrige and causing all sorts or shit that does nothing but waste time , and piss people off. people like that are insecure and lacking in thier life, so they feel the need to try and bring others down with them, dont do that.

that being said, like skipilleger said, love is strong word. INCREDIBLY. most highschoolers dont grasp the concept, and it gets used out of context. ive come across maybe 5 or 6 couples in my whole life that were legit in love durring HS. so if you find it innapropriate to use the term to describe a relationship where the relationship isnt that deep, then good for you, i agree. but it also isnt at all shallow to be in a relationship where there isnt actual love. it is very possible to simply enjoy each others company on both a friend and physical level. these kinda relationships usually fizzle out after a while anyway, cause there isnt much there to hold it together. And like ^ said, theres a MASSIVE difference in making love and having sex (its 1000 better when your in love with that person), so either they are missing out, or its something to hold them over until they find the person they love. so eh, it happens, but people arnt shallow cause of it.
 
Night Moves by Bob Seger...

I was a little too tall

Couldve used a few pounds

Tight pants points hardly reknown

She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes

And points all her own sitting way up high

Way up firm and high

Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy

Out in the back seat of my 60 chevy

Workin on mysteries without any clues

Workin on our night moves

Tryin to make some front page drive-in news

Workin on our night moves

In the summertime

In the sweet summertime

We werent in love, oh no, far from it

We werent searchin for some pie in the sky summit

We were just young and restless and bored

Livin by the sword

And wed steal away every chance we could

To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods

I used her, she used me

But neither one cared

We were gettin our share

Workin on our night moves

Tryin to lose the awkward teenage blues

Workin on our night moves

And it was summertime

everyone's got their own opinion. no need to shut them down just because you don't agree.
 
Dude if that was the case, love would mean nothing cause alot of people just hook up and fuck and call it quits and theres people i know of that have been goin out for like a year or longer and still dont love eachother...so to answer your question no he aint a retard hes normal.
 
When you date/hook-up whatever you want to call it, what you're really doing is basically "trying out" or "trying to find" a personality that matches yours. If it doesn't fit then you no not to date that type of person again. So when you say you have to "love" someone to date them you're just dumb.
 
And another point about being shallow, by calling people shallow really means you're shallow because you're judging people, and by judging a person is making you shallow.
 
the girl i'm talking to is really annoying. but she's mad hott. so i'll stick with it. i guess i'm just like everybody else. shit in highschool doesn't matter so why not have fun in the process
 
if your in highschool. then you dont have to love her, because you know that even if you did, you would just have to break up when you go to colege. as long as you like her, and shes hot, then your good to go.
 
everybody definition of love is different and your seems like it doesnt mean that much. There is no way you love sombody right from the beginning and it takes time. I know people who have been together for a year and still dont say they love each other.
 
i agree, i think you can date some you are attracted to but don't have to be in love with them, that comes in time. i believe is "lust" as first sight but not love.

but i give you props for not being your typical shallow, horny boy
 
waoh woah guys, im not in any way bashing him or trying to change his views, i keep them to myslef.

i guess you guys have your opinion, and i have mine, but i still think that sex and stuff (not hooking up, im fine with that) should come as a result of love. i think that if you really love somebody you can do it without sex being the determining factor.
 
Highschool/middleschool relationships are such bullshit. Thats why I never had tried to have one because there really is no point to me. Why date somebody if you dont really/i> like them? Love wont even come at the highschool age (usually) so for the most part, its just for lust or some other dumb reason.

Now Im not against hooking up, because that is totally slothy and well. But I'm just saying why keep up this dumb charade that two 15 year olds actually love each other when anybody can clearly see that they are both just horny?

But then again, whatever makes them happy, so really who am I to judge?

I dont know, they have always just seemd dumb to me. In middleschool kids would give each other kudos and whatnot just for "adding a notch on their belt" and sadly that seemed to be what anybody cared about.
 
yea i dont believe in love for going out in high school, i mean this is where this shit gets figured out and basically i dont really expect anyone to actually be in love durring high school, and if they say they are in most cases they are wrong and wont be together in a few months
 
wow a lot of people dont know what love is,

this is a typical situation

"Wow that girl is so hot and i like her body. I am in love."

 
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