How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

BMskier

BMskier

Active member
Woodchucks Chucking Wood

I think that the woodchuck could chuck as much wood as he wanted!

By the way what is a wood chuck? Is it like a gopher? This is difficult

to question answer. The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a

given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a

Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard

Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt

in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck

could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.

Some say it depends on three factors:

  • The woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood.

  • The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood.

  • The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood.

Others say:

  • He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

  • If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!

  • A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

  • A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

  • If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood.

    But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck

    wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood

    with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.

  • If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood,

    s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck

    wood.

  • It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.

  • One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.

  • It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it

    could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or

    not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the

    football game.

  • Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.

  • It depends on how good his dentures are!

  • A woodchuck, would chuck, as much wood, as a woodchuck, could

    chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks

    do not chuck wood.

  • About 5.72 fluid litres of wood

  • About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.

  • Um....... 23????

  • Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more would than a woodchuck.

  • If the woodchucks name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the

    wood that it wants to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would

    be for it.

  • Due to the average size of a wood chuck and the general density of

    wood (not including cork) if a wood chuck could chuck wood it would

    probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the wood

    chuck is functioning correctly.

  • Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood,

    which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I =

    the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the

    original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the

    chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that

    the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the

    probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must

    choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris,

    whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is

    well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of

    this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer

    of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris' awesome

    roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in

    formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution

    of 69 units of wood.

  • How Chuck Norris got involve: A woodchuck would only chuck as much

    would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares

    Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much

    wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck

    could.

  • None cuz a wood chuck cant chuck wood! :P

  • Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.

  • 2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?

  • About 15 pounds a minute.

this is taken from wikiAnswers and it interested me greatly. what are your thoughts on this newschoolers? all the facts are there and true

a semi repost but check the thread title difference before saying it. ha!
https://newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/6083/

 
This is an opinion question. Seeing as woodchucks cannot chuck wood, there is no actual answer as to how much they can chuck, seeing as they can't chuck wood.
My answer:
3.4764 oz.
 
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I'll just leave this here since this thread needs some spice.
 
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