How long should i last in my first kill

My first time I didn't even finish. Too nervous and my bro came upstairs. But yeah, second time (which was the day after) I lasted all of like 5 minutes. Don't worry. Just do a lot of foreplay, destroy her life with your fingers, then stick it in and go to town for the two and a half minutes you will last... When you are about to unload, blast her in the face, put up your arms and yell:

I AM THE MASTER COMMANDER

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DO A FAVOR AND FUCKING KILL YOURSELF R LEWIS WOULD BE DISGRACED BY YOUR UNKNOWING OF BLACK MAN ON SKIS THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM...ALSO BY FUCKING THE FAT UGLY GIRL AT YOUR SCHOOL THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU COOL AT ALL JUST GO DIE PLEASE
 
Why are you even married to a bitch in Hong Kong? Everybody knows the only reason to get married is to "kill" them (usage?).. But how you sposd to kill a bitch in Hong Kong?
 
its a noun, as in "yo man i have so many kills" or "i got a couple of kills last weekend". but were married cause we went to the same camp and its just kinda jokes to marry someone on fb
 
a) i never said i was gona get laid this weekend. i said "i think," implying that its not a sure thing but a possibility.b) when did i ever talk about how i do? clearly i havent before, lol
 
I believe he meant it as, "if you keep talking how you're talking, you'll never get laid," which is completely true. Who the fuck refers to getting laid as "getting a kill?"

...Oh, that's right. High school virgins.
 
Start racking up dem scalps boy!

She lasted about 5 minutes my first time. Being young your hands probably aren't strong enough to make it quick and she will scream from pain, so bring a bag for you first few kills and then when to grow accustomed to the feel of it you can go without it, just don't forget to use your fingers also.

Just make sure you bury 'er nice and deep.

Oh wait are we talking about having sex? Sorry i got confused with my other hobby.
 
normally u have good arguments but i still said "i might be," not "I will." im not acting like im gona reach and slay the puss for a good 4 hours, so chill the fuck out. oh and "high school virgins." if high school kids are pathetic then ure even worse for having nothing better to do with ur life than fuck around with them on NS lol. also unrelated but arent u a nurse?
 
are they trying to claim being a nurse as an insult?

around where I'm from a nurse can easily pull $100k a year. I don't think kids who fail to start their own t-shirt businesses on the internet can really talk shit about that.
 
Haha I didn't really want to get into that, but yeah, nurses can do quite well for themselves and they're definitely some of the hardest working people around. I wouldn't be ashamed at all if I were a nurse.
 
its his first fucking kill you cant expect him to fuck her very well hahaha unless hes dirk diggler IRL
 
Not hating on nurses, but they definitely do not make $100,000 a year And these are rn nurses the most educated and experienced out of all other nurses.

The BLS reports the median annual wage for a registered nurse was $65,950 in 2011. The best-paid 10 percent of RNs made more than $96,630, while the bottom 10 percent earned less than $44,970. The highest wages are reserved for personal care nurses, or those working for private-sector pharmaceutical or medical-device manufacturers. By location, the highest-paid positions are clustered in the metropolitan areas of northern California, including municipalities in and around San Jose, Oakland, and San Francisco.
 
Were you 16 like a year ago, and therefore still in high school? Is that why you got so butt hurt when I claimed to have sent this to his facebook "wife"? Otherwise I cant see why you would feel so compelled to leap to the defense of toolbag virgin who brags about MAYBE getting laid this weekend and refers to it as his "first kill"... Yeah, truly a worthy defense.

And in case you were worried, I did not actually send it to his lady because its the internet and no one actually gives a fuck, so chill out Tonto. And when i was 16 I joined this site. That was in 2005.
 
1. Make thread claiming possible sex over the weekend

2. Get made fun of

3. Cry

4. Continue to get made fun of

5. Claim you were just kidding and weren't trying to brag about "getting a kill."

6. ???

7. Loss
 
youre trying too hard again. dont act like you have never heard or used a grammatically incorrect turn of phrase or expression. and I'm sure you are intelligent enough to deduce what he means by "thats jokes", even if you have never spoken to another teenager in your life or heard that expression before. its pretty fucking common slang.

you are pretty funny in your dickishness sometimes, but when you go way out of your way you end up just looking like a fucking tool. give it a rest.

(friendly advice)
 
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