How do you wipe your ass?

I forget who it was, but there was some famous guy in an interview that was like "If I don't see baby wipes sitting next to the toilet of a girl I'm seeing, I ditch her immediately. You gotta have the baby wipes; if you don't then you aint clean. I ain't going with someone that's not clean!" Or something like that, pretty funny
 
at my friends apartment, they havent gotten tp for like 3 weeks but we get ree new york times at school. Nothing better than reading Business day and then wiping your ass with it.

too bad the paper isnt absorbant enough.

do you prefer the thin shit or the triple quilted?
 
Hahahahaha! Yeah mang, it was Dave Pauls who made it. He wanted to know cause his girlfriend walked in on him standing up and she flipped. That shit was epic.
 
sitting wipe either fold or crumple and i go back to front until it is clean, and i mean clean clean clean nothin on it, then i do one or two front to backs. so im concealing the spread of the doo doo feces. booyah.
 
i do the same as the OP, except i use more squares if its the thinner kind of TP. i make sure that my ass is completely clean, i cant risk getting nasty dingleberries or that stanky ass smell which results from sweat mixed with poo residue

i hope no girls read this...
 
sadly. this thread has actually happened before my old sig was from it

then i point the shower head lower and sort of bend over like i am takin it from a guy and use my hands to spread my cheeks - oakley_man_540
 
at home-

we got the really strong/soft tp.

take 4 squares and fold it in half.

so its double stronger.

wipe till its all gone.

at school or where ever-

they have really shitty tp.

i usually do the same thing

but get like 10 squares and

fold it in half.
 
yes i have tried it. it was at a really fancy japanese restaurant i went to in new york. shit has heated seats, a spray to clean your ass. and the seat cover and the seat all move with the press of a button. kinda caught me by surprise though at first.hahahaha
 
i take like 6 squares, and i stand ( i have big hands.....and am scared of poo water). I wipe almost untill it hurts man. I make SURE there is nothing left.......NOTHING. No shit smears for me thank you.
 
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