How do you wipe your ass?

F

Flo_Rida_2016

Active member
i take 3 squares, trifold that shit, wipe once, if it was a small smear, ill refold in a bifold and then wipe again.

most ppl use the crumple up the toilet paper and just have at it technique, but i find this method to be much more efficient and you get a cleaner wipe.

also how clean do you go to? I like to get it really nice and clean but some of my friends are lazy and just get it clean enough.

I know this topic is pretty taboo and ppl dont really share methods so im pretty curious...
 
Haha believe it or not, but searchbar. There was a thread about this a few years ago and it was like 3 or 4 pages.
 
I do the say as jumister. Sometimes a little more then 3 sheets, if its a big shit. I also get as clean as possible, no shit stains for me.
 
A girl that I went to high school with had a badeu (sp), I walked in her bathroom and was amazed by the thing. I sat there and drank in the bathroom for 20minutes in awe.
 
hahaha, I actually do the same as thread creator. and I'm pretty anal about it being 100% clean.. pun intended. baby wipes too, they work.
 
for sure. honestly I think it's nasty to leave anything, or not clean as much as possible. I normally shit before my daily shower, so it works out anyway.
 
aright its all about sitting i was recently converted from standing to sitting muchhh better also u gotta use a smallish amount depending on thickness but its all about the crumple a few times till that shits clean
 
well gee mike i never knew that about you....

i take motherfuckin 8 sqaures, bifold so its like 4 squares, bifold again so its motherfuckin 2 squares, then bifold again so its 1 square, but like 8 sqaures thick. then i wipe, i unfold the last bifold, and bifold it back the other way, so now the shit is sandwiched in between 2 layers of 4. then i wipe again, and if its clean, i bifold that, and wipe again.

i like my ass clean to the point of spotlessness
 
Alright so i start off by laying of few sheets down on top of the water. (This gives a good Lilly pad technique). Then i proceed by laying my turd among the sheets of floating paper. I proceed to wet my ball of toilet paper in the sink and gently pat my bum hole with it. Continuing until all the "paperwork" is complete. Every so often I apply more water to reduce the burning sensation in the anal cavity.
 
i take a random amount of tp (usually between 6 and 10 pieces i'd say) and fold them once, then fold them in half again, or in triplets, (like a letter) depending on the length of the folded tp.
then i wipe
SITTING
 
Standing, 3 sheets trifolded, wipe once, fold wipe, fold wipe (carefully, if there's room). Repeat if necessary, and sometimes I make a little tiny cone with a couple sheets and "scrape", that works really well.
 
we throw parties and everybody uses my bathroom cus its close, anyways my roomies invite the dum ugly chics always come over and they use like ten rolls of toilet paper in one night. so one time when we had a party i put all that toilet paper shit into my closet and took out all towels and shit from the bathroom. none of the chics even said anything, not even a, wheres the toilet paper
hate those chics man
 
I remember watching a show and i think tom cruise said that u only need 1 piece of tp to wipe

haha

where is that? or was it tom cruise? i forget, it was funny tho.
 
2 sheets folded in the beginning and 1 towards the end as long as it's quality stuff. Sitting too, I didn't know standing was a viable option.
 
i'm too lazy to bother folding, i crumple and stand and wipe until there's pretty much nothing left on the paper
 
I wasn't aware anyone stood when they wiped, ever. I want my ass cheeks apart for maximum cleaning potential and I don't stand untill the job is done. Also, wiping back to front seems unsanitary, spreading the toxic waste towards areas I don't want it to ever come in contact with. This is especially true for girls who have various folds and creases that could easily become contaminated...
 
I think in health sometime we learned that its kinda gross for guys but thats it.

for girls though, it can be pretty nasty and also result in infections and that sorta thing.
 
1) Finish dropping the kids at the pool.

2) Lean over to side and wipe while sitting

3) Once almost no evidence on TP (usually ~3-4 wipes) stand and wipe once more, if ok then finito

Works amazing. It only takes me like 30 seconds to shit. No joke.
 
once im done, i push a button and a little urchin pops up from out of my toilet with a tiny hose and sprays down my asshole
 
depends on the tp brand.. that thin shit you gotta fold like 8 times..

charmin is mad good.. like 2 folds and you're good to go
 
chuck_norris_toilet_paper.jpg
 
almost exactly the same EXCEPT i just recently converted to sitting and sometimes ( depending on the type of shit) i wipe more than once beofre folding again
 
i go for a bunch and fold combo, it allows for maximum surface area to get rid of the poo stuck to my ass. anyone ever wipe so much their ass is raw?
 
I went on vacation and I didn't want to waste the milk left at home, which would surely go bad before we got back. long story short, I drank a half gallon of milk pretty quickly prior to arriving at the airport. it was awful and the airport toilet paper is not forgiving. that's all I have to say about that.
 
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