Honest Pro Slogans

[chris.wagers.9]

I saw the "Honest Slogans" thread a while ago. I thought it'd be funny to make honest slogans for skiers themselves. Here is what I've come up with so far. Feel free to comment more.

Tanner Hall: THE WEED IS SO LOUD I TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS

Tim Durtschi: Everything is a joke to me. Also follow me on snapchat.

Simon Dumont: I take myself way too seriously.

Gus Kenworthy: I like puppies. And men.

Bobby Brown: Breck is currently on their knees for me.

David Wise: I'm currently raising a child and I still ski pipe better than you.

Henrik Harlaut: ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

David Lesh: The girls in my videos aren't actually that hot.

Shane McConkey: I'm gonna rip the shit out of everything forever. Also, I'm definitely better than you.

Jossi Wells: You think I give a fuck about Olympic slopestyle?

Jesper Tjader: Did you know I'm sponsored by Redbull?

Tom Wallisch: I'll never ever stop afterbanging.

Chris Laker: I don't give a single fuck about the physics of spinning.

Candide Thovex: Get on my level.

 

[zwilly]

Clayton Vila: I go fast.

 

[Dddsz]

Nick Goepper: I rock.

 

[MomentaryMuon]

Nick Goepper: I rock.

I see what you did there...

 

[Mr.Haverkamp]

Henrik Harlaut: Wu-Tang is for the children

 

[Skier_75]

Steve stepp: I can't double

 

[zakattack66]

Phil Casabon: Style is a substitute for skill, right?

 

[Newschoolers55]

Adam Delorme: I ski faster than you.

Also 500th post!

 

[cheerio]

Andy Parry : sweaty wizard cheese socks and wax

Will Wesson : swaps anything anyway and with his hood on

 

[Park_Ranger]

Jaron Stadler: I'm Drunk

 

[Nosam]

Alex Schlopy: I can spin faster than you

 

[Schoess]

Ken-Dozer: lel

 

[JuliusBurton]

Vincent Gagnier: Triples are too mainstream.

 

[Treestman]

op: I suck pro dick

 

[Treestman]

op: I suck pro dick

 

[PM4FreeJiberish]

Colby James West: Doing funny voices is a substitute for skill

 

[Slush]

LJ: I'm freaking insane

Andy Perry: I do ski tricks you didn't even think we're possible

Ross Imburgia: I do stupid stunts

 

[Craigskis]

Nick Goepper: I rock.

Well played. Lost it.

 

[Breezy.]

Jaron Stadler: I'm Drunk

The prompt clearly states "PRO SKIERS"

 

[fredyferl]

Maude Raymond: I thought going switch and reverting 10 feet before the rail was an actual trick

 

[CheddarJack]

Maude Raymond: I thought going switch and reverting 10 feet before the rail was an actual trick

ouch

 

[skiingtheeast13]

Tom Wallisch: i spin more than you

 

[Rennis_Deynolds]

Steve stepp: I can't double

The prompt clearly states "PRO SKIERS"

.

 

[Skier_75]

.

Lol good point

 

[Deepskier]

Nick Goepper: I rock.

Lol

Steve stepp: I can't double

Fucking am the thread is about pros

 

[JOTTO]

Clayton Vila: I go fast.

Charlie Owens: Fast. Like really fucking fast.

 

[Shoey-Ski]

Adam delorme: buttersssss for days

 

[dustygoldflakes]

Real SkiFi: Incorporating anything except rails into Urban.

 

[BBurt]

Shea Flynn: Knees? What knees?

 

[BBurt]

Shea Flynn: Knees? What knees?

 

[grantwhitty]

Ian Compton: *smiles

 

[dan1080]

Mr.Bishop: FLABONGOOOOO

 

[TheSpanishSkier]

Will Wesson: I'll swap your bitch

 

[JimmyRecard]

Aspen Spora: I dread the day I lose the rubber ligaments of childhood

 

[WhatTheHuck]

JP: You're welcome

 

[Troy.]

Kelly Slidaru: I need a lead vest just to get enough speed and I still crush everyone.

Trina: Fuck comp skiing, fuck you, fuck everything.

Matt Margetts: #badkitty

 

[Huck-e-Cheese]

I saw the "Honest Slogans" thread a while ago. I thought it'd be funny to make honest slogans for skiers themselves...

I just want to congratulate this guy on making a first post that wasn't garbage

 

[mat_espo]

Henrik Harlaut: *makes barking noises*

 

[Mingg]

JP: You're welcome

wow this hit me right in the feels...

 

[Kygourz]

Candied Thovex: who needs snow to ski?

 

[Kygourz]

Wallish fans: hey, is that Tom wallish

 

[casey_cope]

Alex schlopy: Wow the future is amazing

 

[HenriksDreads]

Just thought of another one.

Joss Christensen: you probably didn't know my name before Sochi.

i think most people on this website knew who he was, or at least i did

 

[nolaan]

JP: You're welcome

Woah...Yeah that's pretty much perfect

 

[TomDavies]

Phil Casabon: Style is a substitute for skill, right?

enough downvotes to sink the titanic

 

[Frediboy94]

Can someone please explain the Goepper "I rock" one to me? I know, I know, I'm super thick...

 

[McLS]

Nick Goepper: I rock.

I genuinely pissed myself a little when I saw this. Fuck you.

Phil Casabon: Style is a substitute for skill, right?

Phil Casabon: fuck the park, I'm actually better at urban.

Can someone please explain the Goepper "I rock" one to me? I know, I know, I'm super thick...

Goepper threw rocks at car a while back, hence the wordplay.

Goepper: what the fuck is style?

Sean Petit: I have an ad.

Giray: Ahmet is my brother now

Ahmet: I got stuck in Lafa

Sandler: backflip.

 

[PontusOlssonSNOW]

Jon Olsson: I'm rich, bitch!

 

[SPUTnik.]

Dale Talkington- "Uhhh... yeah... uhh.. I don't know"

 

[SPUTnik.]

Dale Talkington- "Uhhh... yeah... uhh.. I don't know"

 

[musclehamster]

Ian Cosco : chhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggg.