Homer Simpson quotes

ooh a planecrash look! oh hello mr. donut...

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.If my toes were made of broccoli I would rule the world.
 
You guys are lame! no one has even TOUCHED the best Homer quotes yet.....

'Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all the world's problems'

'Marge, put the kids to bed. I'm going to Moe's and coming home wasted'

'Im gonna punch the air like this, and if you get in the way its your own fault!'

And last but not least, the only letter Homer ever wrote to Marge...

'Maybe It's the beer talking, but you got a butt that just won't quit. They got these big chewy pretzels....5 dollars? Get outta here!'

WE TAKE THESE RISKS NOT TO ESCAPE LIFE, BUT SO THAT LIFE DOES NOT ESCAPE US
 
Homer:Hahaha, anyone will listen to anything they read on a billboard....suckers.(homer sees a sighn that says, DRINK A DUFF. He drinks a duff.)

Homer:Man that really quenched my thirst.

(homer sees another sighn that says DRINK ANOTHER ONE!)

Homer: Or did it....?(he drinks another one)

*NORTHEAST CULT*

^is dead

quagmire:'We got to do something.'

peter:'Dont worry i got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if i even began to know what I am talking about.

 


Homer: Well crying won't bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. so you can either sit there eating can after can of dog food untill your tears smell enough like dog food so your dog will come back or you can go out there and find your dog!

Bart:Your right, i'll do it!

Homer: Rats, i almost had him eating dogfood.

 
i don't think there was a quote to go along with it, but when homer gets a bowling ball for marge for her birthday that says 'homer' on it, she ends up taking up bowling instead of giving the ball to homer and falls in love with this french dude

 
Marge you know me, I like my beer cold, my bed warm, and my homos fllllaaaammmiing.

Homer(at Disneyland):I'd like and elephant ear please.

Vendor: thatll be eighteen thousand dollars please.

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Son: 'Dad, I had sex at the party last night.'

Dad: 'Well, did you use protection?'

Son: (sighs) 'No.'

Dad: 'Thats my boy, those condoms take away all the feeling!'

NWFT for life!
 
'what are you going to do, release the dogs or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you?'

'Ok, punching ain't your thing...but that's ok, you're not that kind of fighter!' -Moe
 
'hello, is this president Clinton? good, cause I figure if anyone knows how to get some Tang around here it'd be you. Shut up!'

'hello, Thailand? uh huh...uh huh...that's some language you've got there! So you talk like that 24-7 huh?'

'Ok, punching ain't your thing...but that's ok, you're not that kind of fighter!' -Moe
 
marge: homer i want to know what you've been doing after work.

homer: marge im not going to lie to u...

Member Since 2003-01-15

Member Number 13501

dont get it twisted
 
they have the internet on computers now.

look at me im nelson. i drive a pink miata and dance in a tutu.

no beer and no tv make homer something something.

I hate Liberals.

Member 6834

Bristol Crew Represent

Swix Website
 
(Homer gets really fat so he can work at home, he trys to start his computer in the morning)

Computer:Press any key to start.

Homer:ANY KEY! I CANT FIND THE ANY KEY! AHHHHHH!

*NORTHEAST CULT*

^is dead

quagmire:'We got to do something.'

peter:'Dont worry i got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if i even began to know what I am talking about.

 
^Whew, All of this computing is making me thirsty. I think I'll have a Tab. (Pushes Tab key, computer starts)

No more time fo rslacking, I've got work to do. Where's my Tab?

_________________

-Mike

Pabst Blue Ribbon is the greatest beer ever.

What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!

Chapelle's Show Cult, Bitches
 
doh

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Some people talk it, some people live it, some people walk it-some people give it... deal with it.

D-Loc AKA Shaky Bones... Original, Unique, and One of a Kind.

land of the free???@#! haha right... free to the power of the people in uniform
 
mmmm... pizza, mmm... chocolate, mmm... doughnuts

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Some people talk it, some people live it, some people walk it-some people give it... deal with it.

D-Loc AKA Shaky Bones... Original, Unique, and One of a Kind.

land of the free???@#! haha right... free to the power of the people in uniform
 
homer-'remember when i took that wine making course and forgot how to drive'

marge-'thats because you were drunk'

 
what am i suppose to do?? (brain says) pick up bart! pick up bart! homer: pick a bar? what the hell is a pick a bar?

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someone say sumthin?
 
'now we play the waiting game......ahhhh the waiting game sucks, let's play hungry hungry hippos!'

'Ok, punching ain't your thing...but that's ok, you're not that kind of fighter!' -Moe
 
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