Hockey tips

Stay low, keep your head up, pass a lot, and DONT SHOOT AT THE GOALIES CHEST. it makes your dick smaller.
 
It doesn't matter how good you are at hockey as long as you do all three of these things well. And drink canadian beer, especially pabst. And talk mad shit at all times.
 
You lier! Pabst is American!

Although speaking of Canadian beer I bet y'all have some wicked microbrews. I need to make a trip up to investigate.
 
Hit Hard. Keep your head up and for fuck sakes don't be a bitch and get into those corners; you fight for that puck like this game is your life. Cause guess what? as soon as you lace up, thats all that matters. Oh and i'll give you the secret tip to scoring. Shoot where the goalie isn't. Oh and if you're a defence man you better kick the shit out of a kid every game.
 
head up, stick on the ice, keep your feet moving at all times, make sure you have a stick that's the right size, if you can shoot pucks everyday and a lot of them, practice stick handling everyday, know where everyone is on both teams at all times, learn to stop and go rather than making turns, so much more that I will maybe type out later
 
Most important thing, cant believe no one's mentioned it yet: grow out your hair. The more hair sticks out from under the back of your helmet, the more style points you get. That's pretty much it. P.S. Use Head and Shoulders for that silky smooth look, no split ends, and of course no dandruff.
 
im guessing you know how to skate because if you cant your completely fucked but i would say keep your head up and make sure be good passer and be at the right spots. nothing gets a coach madder then being at the wrong spot
 
im assuming if you have never played before you are prob playing some sort of mens league or rec league.

get drunk, smoke weedus, have fun, team shower!

but if youre playing competitive... dangle, snipe, celly. fuck bitchessss.
 
Scotty hartnell is the best player on the flyers for exactly this reason, his glorious glorious curly locks. Fuck that giroux joker, put scotty on the nhl 13 cover god damnit.

6a00e5513d181b88340120a76ef778970b-800wi.jpg


Just look at that MOP, if he trimmed that head poodle into a mullet you just know he'd be the best player in the league.
 
Flyers taught him how to fight anyway and you know it. I heard carcillo showed him how to punch a guy who's laying on the ice.
 
when you go in for a hit, use your sholder and give a push just to the inside of the other guys armpit. on open ice that will send the guy FLYING.

 
Learn to skate forwards and backwards, keep your head on swivel, pass the puck, stay in your position, wrist shot is most the important shot to learn.

Watch Slapshot. This is the most important thing you can do.

End thread.

 
Celly as fucking hard as you can every time, it doesn't matter how shitty the goal is. You act like you just won the stanley cup every time.

And:

 
How old are you? I would recommend working on skating. Inside edge outside edge drills. Skating is the most important aspect of the game. Get your skating down, and the rest will fall in place.
 
Oh, go bar down. Always. Even if you're on a breakaway and the other team's goalie is pulled, you gotta snipe it bar down.
 
learn to skate well first of all. head up. quick hard shifts. don't be afraid to hit and get hit, just don't leave yourself out to dry. hit the weights, squat and bench. do a lot of cleans if you know the lift, it'll help with being explosive and quick.

most of all just have fun.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top