Rogge
Active member
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in
Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year
that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
into
account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in
Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year
that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
into
account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
