Hilarious advice:

katesd

katesd

Active member
This is a question sent to an advice column in a magazine. The response to this woman's "dilemma" kills me:

Dilemma: Dear Lynn,

I have a HUGE crush on a gorgeous guy who is rich, smart and funny - in short, perfect for me. Not to sound boastful, but I'm a young, extremely attractive, successful gal. My dilemma? Mr. Parfait is involved with a dowdy, older (than me) woman who no one likes. I've invited them both to a dinner party, and wonder what I should wear and how I can best snatch this gem? -name withheld, Toronto.

Answer: Miss Thing,

What a devastating dilemma! Why are all the great guys taken by women who clearly don't deserve them? I think you should emulate Nancy Allen in Carrie and pour a bucket of pigs' blood on her head during the main course.

In truth, I can't advise you strongly enough to keep your hands off. I doubt she deserves this kind of malice-with-forethought and any stealable man isn't worth having. If you must proceed, why not dress as the monster you are in a headdress of snakes, a scale covered bodysuit and a choice set of fangs or horns. Try Malabar costume shop or just ask Satan the next time you two are speaking. -lynn.

Well I thought it was funny.....

-katie
 
wow that was awesome. i wonder what the lady did when she read that

Half a binding, half a brain, twice the fun.

pas de ski, pas de vie.

 
hahaha thats good,what paper or site is that from?

///////////////////////////////////////i am Sum Ting Wong praise me- Sum Ting Wong july 5th 2004 CANADA KICKS ASSS
 
Hahaha

"If you must proceed, why not dress as the monster you are in a headdress of snakes, a scale covered bodysuit and a choice set of fangs or horns. Try Malabar costume shop or just ask Satan the next time you two are speaking."

_______________________________________

Fuck off signature

Representin the 518

LINE KICKS ASS
 
I found it in a fashion magazine while looking for images for a project a couple years back. I ripped it out and its been in my drawer since then... at the bottom though, it says "send your dilemma to dilemma@fashionmagazine.com"

-katie
 
BURN

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
hahaha, nice, true honesty...

- Patty

*NS Skateboarders* Vas y il l'a cassé!

the previous might have been pure genious, but it wasn't my intention. sorry. that's why i put in all those typos...
 
"or just ask Satan the next time you two are speaking. -lynn."

hahahah! gold.

-Joel

~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~
Capital City Rider, DFP
Silent Army

'Everybody calls me a zero. But I'm an internet hero.'
 
yeah thats great advice. this type of thing really frustrates me. just as Chris Rock pointed out in his stand up act 'Never Scared' .. a guy will look at his buddy's girlfriend and say 'awe thats nice, i want to find a girl like her' .. a girl will look at her best friend's boyfriend and say 'i want HIM'. and she will do anything in her power to get him.

girls are bitches when it comes to this. they just always want more, and are ALWAYS wanting what they can't/don't have.

'what can i do to STEAL him from her...'

that shit just flat out pisses me the fuck off.

stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Justin

(dfp represent)

keep it real.
 
I like how the bitch says RICh first..

"When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve."

" i saw samuel l. jackson sessioning some urban rails with emilio estevez a few years ago" i_am_a_skier
 
that is sweet. supposed to help a person and then just tears them up perfectly.

====================

chill

It's my medicine
 
well thats what the bitches are....bitches

~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~

If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze

i'm not even trying to be mean...but, you look borderline retarded -freerider_klo

My girlfriend wants to experiment with 'doggy style' because regular stance is becoming boring. The only problem is that she's really small and I think I'm too big to really give it to her. I'm 25 and she's 11 years old. What should I do?? - some newb
 
ohh man. Personaly i love the way that she just assumes that he will like her, no matter what. Oh so arrogant.

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery

please pardon the cacography

.C.C.R..P.P.P.

'naahhmahhnahh

hahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'

"go down to the bottom bunk and finish yourself"

"I may be the last to cross the finish line, but at least im in the first race - pun intended"

 
thank you you wasted 2 minutes of my life

i cant take him[liam downey] seriously cuz his name reminds me of that downy bear from back when i was a kid -d loc

Imagine the ns outcry if u(lateralis) were banned. There would be countless threads and petitions to bring u back, it would be like when treadway got banned from whistler. Someone would probably make and sell 'Free Lateralis' stickers and shit. -j
 
Dude, I have no doubt that any attractive woman holds unlimited power over men. I wouldn't take offence if a beautiful woman tries to lure me away from my woman, I'd be proud - and flattered. Not saying that I would do it, but I'd be happy that someone thought like that.

________________

My Lamentable plight... ...I am calamity.
 
that was pretty stupid, plus who the hell would ever do that, NO ONE, god damn, you people keeping stealing my life in bits and peaces

 
i thougt it was kinda funny. but not hilarious

*****************************************

-Matt

NS SKATEBOARDERS

 
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