Help me annoy the shit out of my rude sister

TechnoPotamus

TechnoPotamus

Active member
Hey ladies and gentlemen,

So every morning at 7 fuckin a.m., I wake up to the disgusting and vile sound of my sister hawking loogies and spitting/clearing her throat, whatever you wanna call it. She smokes like a chimney, and has horrible lungs because of it. This is not a legitimate medical issue, this is something idiotic that she has brought upon herself.

It goes on for about 5 minutes straight, at which point I'm wide awake, grossed out, and annoyed.

Now then, on the weekends, she likes to sleep in till noon. NOT ANY FUCKING MORE. I've decided that until she stops doing her gross routine, I'll make sure I wake her hungover ass up at 8 a.m. every day that she tries to sleep in.

I need ideas for annoying noises to blast in her direction when I wake up, whether it's a great audio clip of somebody else hawking loogies, or horses naying, or whatever you can come up with. GIVE ME YOUR BEST, MOST ANNOYING SOUNDS AND IDEAS

TL;DR - sister wakes me up every morning by spitting in sink and being gross, how can I annoy the shit out of her and wake her up to get revenge?
 
Why don't you ask her nicely to stop being so loud in the morning because it is disrespectful of you while you're trying to sleep. Also explain to her that you understand she has an addiction and that it is bad for her health. Offer your support to her if she needs help quitting.

Just an idea.
 
Get some dildos and just throw them at her while she's sleeping. My mom has been using dilds to wake me up since 4th grade
 
It is a great idea, and I've tried this approach about 5-10 times at least now. She snaps at me and says she "can't help it" and then continues to do it. I should've have mentioned I tried the polite and mature way of dealing with this first. It simply won't work.

So now we must resort to more drastic measures.

THE PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE

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Play this background music:

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While doing this at 0:30







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That would be a really unpleasant wake up call. lol

 
Buy like 10 cheap digital watches. Set the alarms at 10 minute intervals and hide them throughout her room. If you can, put one under the floorboard.

 
airhorn because it wakes anyone the fuck up and is annoying as hell

blast violent porn audio in her room

that fucking numa numa song

i like whoever said throw dildos

spray her with febreeze until she wakes up
 
take a shit in your hand and smear it all over your body. then vomit on the ground and roll around in the puke and start masturbating. i don't know how or why it would wake her up but you should do it anyway
 
I hate you so much.

There is some girl right next to me checking me out fucking hard, and I read this and start cracking up for no reason.

And she looks at me, glances at my screen and I could fucking feel her eyes open.
 
When my college neighbors used to bang and keep my up all night, I'd play turtle mating noises or the annoying girl barking with her dog on max volume. Needless to say, they stopped.
 
last year my buddy blasted this song for 6 hours in res when he wasnt in his room, gets annoying to say the least

lean your biggest speakers against her wall
 
thank you all for your brilliant and disturbing suggestions.

i've learned that porn sounds, dildos, and fapping noises are apparently the go-to solution for this type of problem. although i love timmy's digital watch idea, that's brilliant but not loud enough or quite annoying enough i feel like.

 
That 20 minute long MudKipz video

Find some HL of Joe Rogan screaming his head off at a UFC event going all the time (this is just annoying as shit)

Carlos Mencia's shitty jokes

Cartman's cover of Lady Gaga
 
i did this in high school to my sister. i cut open her pillow and put the watch in it and the sewed it shut. went off at like 2:30am. I also turned the shower head so it was pointed at the door. she turned the water on and got sprayed.

all happened on the same day. what a terrible morning
 
Birth control sabotage... Initially not annoying, but when she gets morning sickness, she will regret fucking with you. A baby in the house would be shitty though.
 
People are acting like fucking 10 year olds on here all the time.

If you're going to be a douche, at least be mildly creative yourself. I've just seen enough, "I don't like my roommate, I'm a pussy what can I do to make them cry" threads for the rest of my life.
 
It's funny when children try so hard on the webs. Lol at that being your basis for anything. My poorly made mock roast thread bro, get over it.

At least I'm not posting, "My friend called me a mean name, +K for advice on how to kill him because I'm a pussy and can't let it go"

bro bro bro
 
i dont think the OP here is being anymore serious in this thread than you were in your thread. i highly doubt that hes actually going to follow through with any of the advise given. hes just making a funny thread. but then abortionator gets here on his high horse and decides that he doesnt approve of this sense of humor because its not mature enough. do you see the connection im making here? youre acting like the hippo is legitimately angered by his sister, which is just stupid.
 
Then whatever. But this thread seems to be made everyday by people who are serious. "My roomate beat me in madden, how can I ruin his life"

Didn't really read, didn't really care.

And high horse, lol.

And then you just rabble rabbled.

Hippos kill people bro
 
you have hit your head too many times.

stop being a buzz kill please, I was enjoying reading this. its not like he's going to actually do any of it, sheesh
 
okay negative nancy.

it's okay for you to make ten shitty unproductive threads in a day but this one is too immature for you?

thanks for letting us know.
 
grab an old cardboard insert for toilet paper or something then mold it into a shit-like shape and leave it somewhere that would piss her off

or put some baby powder in her hair dryer
 
Pea in her but. A strong gesture, and one that say's, "hey bitch, i'll start cumming in your throat if you keep hacking shit up." Needs to be done, she'll always think of you as the alpha.
 
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