HELP!!! I think there are chemickals up my butt....

this may sound bad but u think your gonna need some outside help on this. As well let it be known i was reding this thread well taking a poo, and i checked for chemicals.
 
Your ''chemikal'' is prbly a base, you need to neutralize it with an acid solution... just pee in your butt.
 
Midday update

It's 3:03, approx 6 hours after the incident. The burning subsided to a casual sting, but I still can't sit on it. I went to the bathroom again, that made things 100x worse, almost as much as the first time.

My girlfriend came over to drop something off, she asked why I was in so much pain....

I tried avoiding it but then it basically boiled down to me telling her or her thinking I got buttrammed last night...

...so I told her

She had a laughing fit and then insisted on checking it out for my own good

Apparently I have a purple and red butthole.
 
What you are feeling is a base burn. The toilet bowl cleaner probably has a really high pH , and therefore must be neutralized with an acid that has a really low pH. So basically, you just need to stuff your asshole with the most acidic shit you can find, battery acid, sulfuric acid, nitric acid, whatever you can get your hands on.

its gonna be a chemical showdown in your asshole today my friend.
 
then_i_am_a_dog.jpg
 
Wait....

...I thought it did....

...now I feel like an idiot.

On another note, I tried putting aloe on it, that just made my ass all slippery and felt really gay. So I wiped it off, had some cooling effects though
 
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