HELP...Burned my girlfriends cooch

[CoonKiller]

OK so my parents went out with family friends,and they'll be home within an hour
heres what happened i volunteer on my cousin softball team(im 17 the girls are15)
and i met this girl named allison,were going out for awhile.and we have alot in common, sometimes i help her with her homework.I helped her write an english essay and she still got a c because her teacher is a prick but anyway....She came over like an hour ago,and i really wanted to lose my virginity so i ask her to have sex.
"no i cant its not right"she said but i told her" dont worry i know what im doing,ill be done in like 10 seconds,plus ill give you two n64 games if you say yes."
So i gave her diddy kong racing and ken griffey jr baseball,and then she goes to my room,shes a bit confused and scared.
Then i think to myself-yo i need lube right?I heard you need to lube up her clit or else it wont fit properly.
Ok so i have no lube,but i really want to lose my virginity-so i grab some butter from the fridge,but its cold,it wont melt-so i microwaved it for 8 minutes,and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter,now shes saying i burned it.
I dont know what todo,my parents will be bcak soon and shes inthe bathroom crying..please help me.
Any idea on how i can shut her up?Should i give her another n64 game?

 

[.frenchy]

holy shit! Hahahah.. for realz?

 

[uosdwiSrjewoH]

i'm calling troll

 

[esquio316]

repost of a repost of a repost of an old ass motherfucking story. fail

 

[MCIRONCOCK]

Are narwals real?

 

[Nathn]

LOL THIS IS BELIEVABLE

 

[beowulf]

most epic fail at trolling right here folks

 

[mattster]

Ken griffey jr baseball was the shit! i dont know what she's complaining about.

 

[Mike-O]

I think this pasta is at least two years old.

 

[Pisces]

this is not original content. move along now children

 

[McFellon]

first of all, with the age difference it might be illegalsecond, that is a hell of a lot like prostitutionthird, butter? really

 

[Peter.]

it's some delicious copy pasta though

 

[Logey.]

hahahahaha i laughed my ass off, 8 minutes got me

 

[McFellon]

when i posted it said that there were no posts yeti'm glad that this is bs, i had a hunch, but just in case i thought i'd set this guy strait

 

[CoonKiller]

she did'nt want quake or rampage so i was forced to give her it

 

[Elg]

i knew this was a troll thread before i clicked it, but fuck that was hilarious!

 

[nolan.]

so i'm confused why you titled this thread "help...burned my girlfriends cooch", when i'm pretty sure that you meant to type in "I copy and paste from other sites even though I am reposting a repost."

that is all. good day.

 

[gus555]

give her mario cart racing, she'll shut the fuck up

 

[Milksteak]

...............................................wow

 

[CoonKiller]

i read it and had to post it i laughed my ass off for 2 minutes straight

 

[Ski_the_east01]

coonkiller is probably kangbangs alias

 

[mattster]

hah, 23 replies in under 10 minutes... its working...

 

[matt.s]

why the fuck would you heat up butter for 8 minutes.

i do believe we have a retard on our hands... plus what kind of decent girls accept sex for video games?

 

[danderson.]

Haha

 

[Travapple.]

I'm too aroused to help you out.......

 

[Whale]

Well not all of us are crotchety old fucks either....

 

[dispatchQ_main]

prostitution is legal.

 

[Blurst]

That was a silly story

 

[little1337]

1st page

 

[BMskier]

.

 

[J..H]

1st page claim

 

[jibnut]

Butter becomes hard and waxlike after it gets melted and sits out.

 

[brandon_]

Does somebody have experience in this?

 

[snowking249]

I can not even begin to explain the visual i just got.

 

[CoonKiller]

he should have made cake or rice krispie treats with it

 

[jibnut]

No, but I make my mom popcorn a lot, and have to melt down butter. Awkward..

 

[ROOS.]

rampage is a sick game, i think i know what im about to do

 

[futbol]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[FUUUCK]

REPOST IS A REPOST

 

[SSteezle]

hahahaha laughed my ass off so hard, don't even care if it's a repost

 

[LMPJibbin]

troll fail

 

[theabortionator]

^

 

[Mezmerize19]

Heard this before. Nothing new.

 

[StevenR]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

not.

 

[.coloRADo.]

yes! They are the best animal and completely real

 

[dex.]

i drew this for you. its me and a narwal

 

[ferrariowner123]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

[.coloRADo.]

Oh I love dat. Can you add me in there waving at you while I'm atop of a rainbow or something too plz?

 

[Abc567def]

there wouldn't be any butter left after 8min in the mircro wave although this is a copy pasta

 

[dex.]

wow thats the last time i do something nice for someone...

 

[.coloRADo.]

I don't understand, I was serious...