Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student

spere

spere

Active member
THIS IS AN EMAIL I GOT FROM MY DAD

Hell explained by a Chemistry

Student

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now

have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas

cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in

time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell < BR>and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely

assume that once a ?soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,

no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do

not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go

to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the

number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.?

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's

Law states that in order for the temperatu re and pressure in Hell to

stay the same, the volume of ?Hell has to expand proportionately as

souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1.

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

?until all Hell breaks loose.

2.

If Hell is expanding at a rate faster th an the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature ????and pressure will drop until Hell

freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman

year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"

and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then

number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic

and has already frozen over.?

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it

follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is ?therefore,

extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a

divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh

my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"?
 
hahaha very funny and very impressive. I wonder if the teacher gave him an A simply because of the bonus answer or if he did well on the whole test?
 
This is completly un-related except i got this email from my dad..

Never bring plants into the house.

Garden Grass Snakes (also known as Garter snakes...Thamnophis sirtalis) can

Be Dangerous... Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why... \

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent

cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a

possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of

the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go

under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to

see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that

time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the

snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to

lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen

to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him

out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency

Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a

neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a

rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was

gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt

the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back

under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to

revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery

store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in

the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting

his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. The noise woke the woman from

her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife

bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went

to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down

the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the

whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to

arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a

little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing

wife.

The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of the

policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the

end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb

broke it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the

window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced

into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into

the parked police car.

Meanwhile, burning drapes, were seen by the neighbors who called the fire

department. The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they

were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires

and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square

city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was

repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with

their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap

for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring

in their plants for the night.

That's when she shot him.

 
yes she did...read the bottom, he said he screwed her last night and before that in freshman year she told him it would be a cold day in hell before she slept with him. :-P
 
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