Hard times and how to cope

EastCoast315

Active member
God, writing long threads on NS can be a dissappointment sometimes, I just had 45 minutes of progress on a thread just before this one that I lost because I accidentally hit create thread, but before I put a title in, so it just deleted everything and said "Error, you need a title". Sorta my fault, but its alright, I was rambling anyway. I'll try to be a little bit more ...poetic.. this time around the horn.
Anyway lately in my area some shit's been going down thats unsavory, sick, and downright disgusting. A man who lives about 30 miles from my house shot his 3 month old infant in the head. A 13 year old killed her younger sister.One of the girls I went to school with got in a car crash, shattered her spinal column and is floating in and out of brain death, in and out of critical condition. Just a few examples of the shit that happens in the world these days, and thats just on a local level. Looking at things on a national level, and more grief comes to eye level: Oil spill, impending bankruptcy, war, increasing apathy among young people, etc. And on a world level, more than I could ever write about. And more than anyone could do anything about. Suffering is a fact of life that surrounds us at every moment. Hell, just in my house, my Step father is depressed about where he is in life; he drinks copiously, my mother is unstable, with low self esteem, and their relationship may collapse, leaving my beloved baby brother the life of a bastard, the same life I lead; a life with an underlying layer of pain. However much I protest or cry, though, this suffering does not subside. And should the individual problems that contribute to this suffering be ended, new ones would arise. So naturally, its in our best interest as people to accept and learn to cope with suffering.
So how can we keep our heads above water? How can we ensure that we do not drown in the seas of ignorance and blood? I didn't make this thread to give you a comprehensive guide, but to ask you of your opinion, so we can build off each other and make strides in this strange, quiet battle.
The foundation of my life was fucking shaky, and its hardened me to a whole spectrum of pain; because of this I've pondered quite often just what we can do to stay sane, honorable, strong, and likeable individuals. It seems that the more self sufficient we are, the better off, would you not agree? I mean this in a couple of ways. First, who are we economically attached to? If we possess the knowledge to grow our own food, raise our own milk, hunt and fish our own meats, and build our own homes, who are we reliant on other than ourselves? Not a soul. This seems like a simpler way to live. If your house is drafty, or your bread is bad, you have no one to point the finger at but yourself, so its easier to see the root of your problem. The same concept works the same way on an emotional level. Who are you reliant on for happiness? I'm only throwing ideas around here; let's bounce off each other and see if we can get a productive thread moving!
Also, in an effort to increase my self-sufficiency and personal freedom, I bought one of these:
tipi-dale1.jpg

 
becoming self-reliant has nothing to do with suffering, life is about how you deal with problems, not trying to avoid them altogether, plus all the shit you described isnt that bad compared to 90% of the rest of the world, suck it up
 
look on the positive side man. you could kick and scream and roll around on the ground, but that would only get you dirty. think of all the good things in your life, and as they say, what goes around comes around so youre probably in for some good shit later in life. stay focused on the now and dont perseverate on the bad things that have happened in your life cause thatll just bring you down.
ive gone through the same phase a couple times and the only thing you really CAN do is to look on the brighter side of things and hope that the world will follow.
 
letting out will make you feel better as well.

on a smaller than small scale, im not allowed into my best friends house because of something my sister did. people need to chill the fuck out and realize that nothing is that big of a deal
 
oh shit i heard about this shit on the news... thats real fucked up :/

honestly the best way to keep your head above the water is to find an awesome outlet that will take your mind off everything... like skiing!
 
hiding from your problems in a tent isn't going to solve shit. its simple but hard to go through...

1. find something you love to do and focus on that

2. harden the fuck up

3. surround yourself with good people, remember step 2 and live your life.

if you let other people's shit bother you, you're cheating yourself out of life.

and really dude? you're letting stuff that is never going to affect you in a significant way control how you feel (oil spill, people you don't know getting shot or hurt)? you're depressed. focus on those 3 steps and you'll be fine. most importantly, stop being a fucking pussy.
 
Man, sometimes you just have to not be such a good person and quit sympathizing with others. Last year, I really took in a view of the world, I started reading the news alot, and thinking about what was going on, that there were a few hundred people dieing every day, and it got me sad as hell. It took me a while, but I realized that sympathizing for these people that I will never meet doesn't help me at all, the only way I can help anyone, is if I am able to better myself and in turn the world.

sparknotes: quit caring about people you'll never meet if you actually want to do anythign with your life.
 
Here are my thoughts, and this is coming from a perspective that I know you can relate to.

Nothing in this world is permanent; all things are constantly changing, trapped in endless cyclical patterns. The truth is that nothing lasts; today you might be having the best day of your life biking, and tomorrow you might wake up and be paralyzed from the waist down for no apparent reason; life works in strange ways. The key is to avoid becoming attached to things through the use of meditation and mental exercise, contemplating on impermanence and death - then nothing can harm you, and the absence of apparent harm is a state of happiness.

The way I see things, the basic foundation of human mental pain is the attachments that people develop to other people. Its so incredibly easy to hurt yourself based on what other people do; you misconstrue their actions, make false assumptions, and tear yourself apart because of it. The truth is, those people might be dead tomorrow. What if you woke up tomorrow and everyone you knew was dead? There would be nothing you could do, nobody you could complain to, and you would eventually have to get on with your life. It would be terrible, but it could happen. You can't place your happiness in other people though, because when you do that your happiness leaves with them.
 
Here are my thoughts, and this is coming from a perspective that I know you can relate to.

Nothing in this world is permanent; all things are constantly changing, trapped in endless cyclical patterns. The truth is that nothing lasts; today you might be having the best day of your life biking, and tomorrow you might wake up and be paralyzed from the waist down for no apparent reason; life works in strange ways. The key is to avoid becoming attached to things through the use of meditation and mental exercise, contemplating on impermanence and death - then nothing can harm you, and the absence of apparent harm is a state of happiness.

The way I see things, the basic foundation of human mental pain is the attachments that people develop to other people. Its so incredibly easy to hurt yourself based on what other people do; you misconstrue their actions, make false assumptions, and tear yourself apart because of it. The truth is, those people might be dead tomorrow. What if you woke up tomorrow and everyone you knew was dead? There would be nothing you could do, nobody you could complain to, and you would eventually have to get on with your life. It would be terrible, but it could happen. You can't place your happiness in other people though, because when you do that your happiness leaves with them.
 
You can't think about all the problem's surrounding you (macro, personal, local, etc etc) all at once, that completely overwhelms the human mind. As was said, I've found it to be true to find something you enjoy in life. Focus on the small things, things that can be very simple, like a hobbie, music, sport, person...a ying the the yang of life. Sounds corny but it makes a big difference. It obviously doesn't help to completely ignore the bad things either, and not everyone can be or is always happy in life, that is a myth, but once you find a seed keep pushing to get the most positivity you can out of it. Also- don't isolate yourself to much, it can be a mental bonus for some, but it can also make problems fester. Though I do like your teepee idea.
 
Coke, heroine, and a big bottle of vodka. Jokes.

But seriously skiing it keeps me sane. Ive had a very rough year. 3 friends have died and my uncle died a few weeks ago. I try to remember the good times not the bad.
 
Skiierman hit the nail on the head.

People have a serious fucking pussy problem, we all have issues..and we deal with them and move forward as stronger people. Stop being such a bitch and grow a pair, and most of all...sell that fucking wigwam, it's stupid.
 
Dude youre just looking at the negative side of it. Lots of things are going pretty well too. You just need some perspective. What might you ask? I have no clue. Just look at things differently rather than the negatives.
 
Yeah, your totally right. Although I'm not really "letting other people's shit get me down", I am cognizant of the bad that happens around me. I guess I shouldn't have written the thread in such a downer fashion, I'm not depressed, I do see plenty of great things that happen all the time, and I feel for those just the same.
Where do you draw the line between insensitivity and hardening up? We need compassion in our lives as people, but it can't consume us. So where is the line drawn?
Surrounding myself with good people is hard. I live in a pretty isolated chunk of civilization in the Adirondack foothills. There aren't many people around. There aren't many good people anymore. Even some of my closest friends demonstrated recently that they too are dishonorable enough to leave me behind. As soon as they get a boyfriend/girlfriend, I'm out of the picture completely. I'm basically a loner, I can count my great friends on 1 hand (maybe less). I walk backcountry roads all day, or I hang out with my family (we all live in the same town). But none of them are going anywhere, most of them drink like hell. I guess my real problem is my lack of friends. I'm not a pussy, I just want to think through every fiber in the cloth of my life for my own sake; Socrates said "the unexamined life is not worth living" and I wholeheartedly agree.

 
you are a fucking idiot. you complain of how fucked up the world is, then, instead of trying to cope or even going out and helping to make the world a better place, you buy a fucking teepee and run away from all your problems.

i see no logic in this.
 
people get so sad when it's not ski season! find yourself a summer hobby. sometimes when i feel shitty i hop on my bike with no plan. just ride till your head is cleared. ganja can help with that.
 
look, it is great to have compassion but you cannot make other people's problems your own. you just cannot live that way. and you're never stuck wherever you are. it is SO easy to pick up, get a job and apt. somewhere else and LEAVE. but again you're too much of a pussy to do so. either do something about it, or stop complaining. it is as simple as that. be a little more self reliant for christ sakes.
 
People think too much, as if dwelling on problems will make them better. More like the exact opposite. Sometimes it's good to shut the mind off for a bit.
 
I hear ya I'm kinda pissed at everything, Everyday at work I have to struggle no to knock out most of my co-workers, at home mymom has little perspective of the world outside what she has lived, and my dad is basically the shit so no complaints there.

I find its best just to move your sadness and depression to anger and aggression, worked for me, I started drinking heavy, working out, and spending my money on a couple assault rifles and tons of ammo.

When I get sad or down on myself I just find something to get angry about, go to the garage hit the heavy bag for a while, swim laps till im out of energy then go to the sandpit and fire off a few clips.

Works for me
 
The child in me wants to say the "smoke a lot of pot, party your face off before the world ends" thing. but the serious side of me thinks that most problems you face in life can be solved with an education. IMO, getting the best education you can is the single best thing you can do for your self.

My dad always tells me, "before you can know what you want to do with your life, you have to know what you dont want to do." This being said, going through an educational system and working jobs that teach you a skill set are important while your young. I just finished my first year in college and it really opened me up to these ideas. Getting an education will let you really "learn how to learn" and through that, i feel like part of maturing and growing up is learning how to cope with the negative parts in life. But i also feel like without these negative things, people wouldn't be able to see what they dont want to do. they wouldn't be pushed or motivated to try to create a better life. Think of these negative things as tools to help you learn what you do and do not want for your self in the future.

And while your young, you cant mess up. you can always start over and try something else. Doing this will guide you as to where you really want to take your life. Also, just enjoy what you do have. you may not feel too good about your home life sometimes, but be thankful that you have a place to call home, and people that you can call your family, becuase not everybody is so lucky

...that is assuming your still young...
 
So your town is shit, no one around to do anything and all your friends dipped? Sell your teepee (although it is badass) and use that money to move the fuck away from the Adirondack foothills into a better place full of people, get out, meet new people. And if your away from your family and living on your own ( I kinda got that you are from this post) you will be more self-sufficient. Move away from your family and your town.
 
through a lot of your posts i kinda get the vibe that you just want to run away, you dont want to confront things.

thats a pretty shitty way to live life in my opinion.

 
i just rapped your whol;e thread soundded like a brother from the hood garenteed record deal right there..you got some serous heart dooggg

 
I'm leaving next year, gotta graduate first.Then I'm gonna be seeing a whole lot of this:
3066649449_59a189b33d.jpg

Hopping trains and shit through the whole USA, seeing this great nation, every state. Hopefully ending in AK, where I'll work up the cash to buy a few acres of land in the interior (somewhere in the unorganized borough) to run a homestead on. You better believe I'm getting the hell out!
 
this. there is also a lot of good stuff and good people out there, and we can't forget to notice and appreciate that too.
 
haha that's the dumbest idea ever. you are going to get killed. i highly doubt that you have a clue how dangerous that is. unless you got a group of 3-4 buddies going with, i suggest you try sky diving without a chute.
 


Step 1: Work and save up cash while you are finishing school.

Step 2: Finish School

Step 3: Move to Colorado

Guaranteed 3 step plan to happiness.
 
hi guys i watched into the wild so im gonna go do that too lol. lemme make some threads about it on ns first
 
Wait is the picture of that teepee taken in your back yard? Buy a dirtbike and see if that doesn't brighten up your life a little bit.
 
I thought that when I was your age too. Then I realized I wouldn't be able to afford to ski, travel anywhere that requires a plane, eat delicious food, drive cars really fast, or any of the other really fun shit I do so I compromised little by little until I basically totally sold out. But selling out isn't so bad really.
I suggest looking into a book called Evasion, you should be able to find it through crimethInc's website. Once upon a time there was a really useful pdf called something like Dropping Out: A Student's Guide, thats just a scan from a magazine, it might be kicking around on the internet still or if you were interested I'm pretty sure I've got it printed out somewhere I could probably scan it. Its all a bit over-optimistic and idealogical and such you know but there is a lot of good information in both of those things. I believe crimetInc prints a few other useful books as well.
 
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