greatest joke of all time

whats moby dick's dad's name?

papa boner.

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'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend it feels like im cheating on my dick'

Viva la resistance!

'who cares what they think, i'm sure the slaves didn't like the plantation owners, but we all know who was living better.'PHROSTY!

 
What's green and red and spins around real fast?

-A baby in a blender

What's more disgusting than a sack of dead babies?

-The live one at the bottom trying to eat its way out.

What do Ginger Baker and 711 coffee have in common (for my drummer friends...)?

-They both suck without cream.

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FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO SKANK!!

-One of three horny NS bitch-asses

-Co-creator of the sporfife
 
no i won with the grilled cheese one muaah

friend: You want a piece of garlic bread?

me: no thanks,im not a vampire.
 
here are some yo mama jokes:

Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said 'Sorry, we don't do curtains.'

Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.

Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.

they kinda suck but oh well

CrAzY cAt
 
An englishman, a frenchman and Claudia Schiffer were riding on an old style train with no lights together. They came to a tunnel, and in the darkness a kissing noise then a slap was heard. When they got back in the light the frenchman was rubbing his face as though he had been slapped. The frenchman was thinking to himself, 'That english guy must have kissed claudia schiffer and she thought it was me and slapped me.' Claudia was thinking to herself, 'That French guy must have kissed the englishman and got slapped for it,' and the englishman was thinking to himself, 'I can't wait until we get to another tunnel so I can make another kissing noise and slap that french bastard again.'

I really like these high speed 6 man quads
 
-What do u call an invisible fart? A packy

-Whos the best jewish cook? hitler

-Whats the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? Pizzas dont scream when u through them in the oven.

-Whats the diffrence between rossi odonald and a blue wale? about 5 pounds

-Whats the diffrence between *insert name of sluty girl u know here* and a misceto? miscetos stop sucking when u slap them

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THE POWER IS YOURS

Our world is in peril. Gaia, the Spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plagueing our planet. She sends five magic rings to five special young people: Kwame, from Africa, with the power of Earth. From North America, Wheeler, with the power of Fire. From Eastern Europe, Linka, with the power of Wind. From Asia, Gi, with the power of Water. And from South America, Ma-Ti, with the power of Heart. When the five powers combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion, Captain Planet!

 
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