Mike Duggan
Periods F/G
October 12, 2004
Thurgood Jenkins: A True Hero
Thurgood Jenkins is a master of the custodial arts, or also known as a janitor. He lives with his 3 closest friends, Kenny a kindergarten teacher, Brian a record store clerk and Scarface a fry cook. One peticularly smoke filled night, Kenny was on munchie duty and Brian tells him to 'Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Dasz ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons'. While on the munchie run, Kenny accidentaly feeds most of the food to a diabetic horse named Buttercup!
Thurgood Jenkins' call to adventure is when his long time friend Kenny is arrested and needs $1,000,000 to post bail because the diabetic horse died. So it is up to Thurgood and his friends to save Kenny from the evils of dropping the soap in jail. The friends soon realize the only way they are going to raise enough money, is by selling some top shelf marijuana only accessable at Thurgoods workplace.
Thurgood first crosses the threshold of his adventure when he gets his first few sales of the ganja. First, he hands out samples of the cannabis plant, and then the buisness starts to roll on in. Thurgood and his friends are known as the Mr.Nice Guy dealers and sell some of the dankest bud you can get. Thurgood sells his goods to many different people including Jon Stewart and Snoop Dogg.
Some troubles Thurgood has to deal with is his anti-reefer girlfriend Mary-Jane, and the paraplegic drug dealer Samson. Thurgood lies to Mary-Jane by telling her he will never smoke or sell reefer again. Samson is one mad son of a gun when he learns there is a better dealer in town and demands to see Thurgood and his friends and they end up having a huge fight with weapons and naked women. Thurgood also has to deal with the fact that his stash of kif is gettiing low and he'll have to find more soon.
Like the myths we learned about in class, there is one major amulet/elixir that saves the day in Half Baked. When the trio first started rolling in the benjamins, Scarface bought an attack dog... but brian on the other hand, paid $400 for Jerry Garcia in a pouch. When the trio's life was threatened by Samson and his army of women with guns, Brian magicly threw the Jerry Garcia in a pouch on the ground and Jerry saved the day.
You probably thought Thurgood and his friends would prevail and get Kenny out of jail, but when the group ran out of that sweet sticky astro turf, they had to go with the last resort. Stealing. That's right, Thurgood, Scarface and Brian broke into Thurgoods medical company to steal the Maui Wowiee. They got into the room filled wall to wall with grass, and the alarm went off and sadly, they were caught. So as you can see, the moral of this story was, don't feed food to horses when your really high.
Thurgood Jenkins might not be a hero for his original goal, but he is a hero for all the urban pot smoking custodial artists out there. He fought for a cause, and thats what makes him a hero in his own smoked himself retarded kind of way. He was loyal to his friends, and took risks to help one out. So if you look at what he did, he really is a hero. Although he didn't suceed in his mission he did succeed and brought him and his friends close together. And thats what counts.
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Bush in '04-When keeping it real goes wrong!
