got any good ski jokes, post them here

3 snowboarders in the backseat of a car. who's driving?

the cop!

what's the difference between a snowboard instructor and a never ever snowboarder?

3 days

Viva la Resistance!

Storm Trooper of the Silent Army

Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis!
 
Why did god cast satan to hell? HE prefered summer.

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skiing is just another way to please yourself without the mess.

 
I know this is somewhat racist and I apologize but it's a classic.

What do you call a black skiier?

A Skigro

 
A guy goes to the doctor for a checkup. At the end the doctor says i've got some bad news - you've got cancer and alzimers. 'thank god - at least i don't have alzimers' said the patient

totally not ski related but i thought it was a funny one

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I'm of ideas for a signature any suggestions?

Just JIB It !!
 
What do you call a snowboarder without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

How many boarders does it take to screw a lightbulb?

10, 1 to screw in the light bulb, the other 9 to say 'i can do that'

-this comin from the guy that backseated a safety once.

Friend-'Dude, i just got a 130 on my iq test'

Me- 'Thats an SAT'

Friend-'Oh shit'
 
what is easier to unload a truck full of dead babies or a truck full of bowling balls??

a truck full of dead babies because you cant pitchfork the bowliing balls

AMA-RIP
 
hahaha I like the light bulb one

'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge

 
weiner....here's more baby jokes:

how many babies does it take to paint a house?

depends on how hard you throw them

whats the difference between jumping on a trampoline and jumping on a baby?

you dont wear boots when jumping on a trampoline

whats the difference between a cadillac and a pile of dead babies?

i dont have a cadillac in my garage

 
Whats white and suspended from the sealing? dead baby from a sealing fan

What green amd suspended from the sealing?same baby 3months later.

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skiing is just another way to please yourself without the mess.

 
What's the difference between an Electrician and Michael Jackson?...

One likes to screw lightbulbs and the other likes to screw little boys!

I heard that one about a week ago... a classic!

No Mr.Porcupine, I don't wanna see your weiner
 
What's red bubbly, and scratching against the window?

A baby in a microwave.

Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?

So you can see the expression on it's face!

Why do you nail a dead baby to a tree?

So you can rip it off!

oh dead baby jokes are so hilarious.

 
that pitch fork baby joke was wrong.....cause if you really wanted to you could use a pitch fork to scoop up bowling balls.

it should say whats the difference between a truck bed full of babies and a truck bed full of sand. you cant use a pitch fork to unload the truck full of sand.

Taste Death. Live Life.
 
2 kids come running downstairs on Christmas morning, and one kid has a huge stack of presents and the other one has only a couple presents, the kid w/ the huge stack of presents turns to the other one and says 'ha ha, i got more presents than you :-P' and the kid w/ only a few presents turns to him and says 'yeah, so, at least I dont have cancer'

Taste Death. Live Life.
 
why did the dead baby cross the road?

because he was stapled to the chicken.

whats worse then throwing a dead baby off a roof?

catching it with a pitchfork.

subtle part of the ott crew
 
not really a joke, just a funny story. WE met this little kid going up to the Pass, and it was his first time skiing. we convinced him that moghuls were little tiny creatures,a dn the reason you had poles was to fight them off. he believed us

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If humans and dolphins are the only mammals on the earth that have sex for pleasure, do dolphins masturbate themselves like humans do?

Andrew: Crap, the 'm' key only works 25% of the time.

Me: Dude, what does the 'm' key do?

Andrew: . . . it types the letter 'm' you dumbass.

Tolerance is not the idea that everyone in the world is vital to the world. . . it's how much beer you can keep down.

Proud Member of the Issy Freeride Team

www.IssyFreeriders.com
 
SINCE WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO DEAD BABY JOKES?! EWW

*brooke*

'pocket rocket i hope the next time you get on a chair thhe liftie smashes the back of your legs so you cant even go and be a poser anymore.'- weiner
 
how do you fit 100 babies into a phone booth?

blender.

How do you get them out?

Nachos

-this comin from the guy that backseated a safety once.

Friend-'Dude, i just got a 130 on my iq test'

Me- 'Thats an SAT'

Friend-'Oh shit'
 
What is the difference between Neil armstrong and Micheal Jackson

Neil Armstrong walks on the moon, and Micheal Jackson rapes little kids

 
How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

30 One to screw it in and 29 to critize the turns.

Q: Where does a snowboarder hide his money from his roommates?

A: Under the soap dish.

Q: What is the difference between a snowboard and a vacuum?

A: Where you mount the dirt bag.

 
ya, i like the first one

ProudEST Member of the Hobum Posse

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As a famous person once said 'I like to ski'

-Famous Person

I want to be a Ski Bum that lives in a tent on the mountains when I'm older.

'You fight with spork. You ride house cat'

-Very amusing calulator game called HicQuest
 
(ACTUAL SKI JOKE)

skiing is just like sex... when its good, its GOOOOOD, and when its not so good, its still pretty good!

 
What did The ski racer say to the park skier?

Im gay.

hahahahahah i just made that shit up but it sure is funny

--->Instead of grabbin everything like a frigging gorrila, we will be borrowing our style from turtles and yanking our shirts over our heads off every jump
 
Why did the baby fall out of a tree?

Because somebody shot it.

Why did the 2nd baby fall out of the tree?

It was stapled to the first one.

Why did the 3rd baby fall outa the tree?

Peer pressure.

-this comin from the guy that backseated a safety once.

Friend-'Dude, i just got a 130 on my iq test'

Me- 'Thats an SAT'

Friend-'Oh shit'
 
What's the diffrence between ppl telling jokes about skiing and ppl telling dead baby jokes???

About 100 IQ points!!

I just made that up too! and yep it's not only funny, it's TRUE!

AXIS BOARD SHOP!

MONT ST-SAUVEUR SNOWPARK!
 
haha that one was good

'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge

 
ya well, what's the difference between me and you?

i kill the babies before i eat them

subtle part of the ott crew
 
I guess this proves that the only good skier jokes are dead baby jokes.

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^Rowen^

Why?

'You're watching the Family Learning Channel. And now, angry ticks will fire out from my nipples.'

- Excerpt from Rejected, a movie by Don Hertzfeldt
 
my friend once said, if my wife ever cheats on me and i find out, im gonna skin her with a potato peeler, cut her tits off, and nail them to my wall

_________________

conversation with a canadian chick:

me: your money is fucking worthless

her: you got something against canadians?

me:no, just their money

her: well, what if i marry a rich american guy?

me: well you will be rich, but since you are canadian the money will become worthless whenever it touches your hands

her:wait a minute...good point

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my wookie
 
What worse that ten dead babies in a barrel?

One dead baby in ten barrels.

Whats white, red, and can't run through doorways?

A baby with a spear through its neck.

And the pitch fork one (you fools):

What's worse than shoveling dead babies out of the back of a truck?

Using a pitchfork.

What's worse than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

Ripping it off.

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A scholar's ink lasts longer than a martyrs blood - Irish proverb

So, what would jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

 
Q = whys stevie wonder always smileing??

A = cause he dosnt know hes black!

im not racist, just thought it was kinda funny lol

 
Q: how are pink floyd and dale earnhart alike?

A: Theyre last major hit was the wall

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''...ride away clean and smiling, and taunt the rail by waving around your middle finger at it. (Note: if you have mittens on then it's important to take them off before preforming this procedure.'' -Boyd Easley (on rail sliding)
 
yeah unfortunately the last one wasn't funny... maybe if you had used jason priestly instead or somthin.

No Mr.Porcupine, I don't wanna see your weiner
 
Dead baby jokes are funny, but dead people jokes aren't. Unless of course the dead person was a midget or gay.

In fact a dead gay midjet joke would be really funny... ideas anyone?

No Mr.Porcupine, I don't wanna see your weiner
 
Whats a gay and small and just won't die.

Gary coleman, hey it was short notice. And earnhardt is like the mike douglas of nascar, so don't make fun of him.

Here's another one, What would princess diana be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing away at the top of her coffin.

now when somebody asks me if i ever decapitated a fetus, i know what to say- My lab partner after a dissection gone wrong.
 
whats worse than a pile of dead babies? one thats alive at the bottom. Whats worse then that? he had to eat his way out.

----now i lay me down to sleep, blah blah blah my soul to keep, if i die before i wake ill go to hell for heavens sake
 
what's even worse? he made it... whats EVEN worse? he went back for seconds...

subtle part of the ott crew
 
well my signature is not a joke but it is funny and has to do with skiing

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'Holy shit! someone should just pop out of the snow and shoot him with a fucking gun!' -my friend while waching Jeff Holden in Heavy Hittings Parental Advisory

My Flash site that is not compleat yet

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Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on it's face.

Why do you put a baby in the blender head first?

So you can see it kick.

If you are holding up a bank and your pants fall down, it's okay to laugh. And let the hostages laugh to. Because come on, thats funny.
 
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