here's one i've been saving up.
Thesis: Any privately funded pro-life agenda is fundamentally unconstitutional, and definitely terrorist.
Churches, especially the Roman Catholic establishment, have no role in the choices of our societies lowest forms of life, and the methods that the church uses are obviously coercive and scary. Picketing an abortion clinic is not fair, do we really need another kid with half a chance wandering around with parents that obviously don't want them.