Get hurt Feel stupid

Dropped a swiss army knife in the edge of a river, went to pick it up and slipped on a rock and almost cut 3 of my fingers of.Was shoe sledding down a hill when my buddy decided it would be a good idea to take my feet out so i front flipped over him and broke my collar bone.
 
got a frostbit nipple by spraying airsoft green gas on it. that was about 7 years ago and its still black to this day...
 
backflipped on a tramp, over rotated and hit my nose on the outer metal rim, broke my nose and now have a scar in it haha, and its hugeee
 
kicked a football (soccerball or whatever its called in the US)over a goal, ran to get it didnt see the oil on the floor, slipped and put a nail through my knee. It was horrible as i could see my bone for a 2 inch stretch. Still have a fuck off big scar on my leg.

And before people call me out on the fact that there was nails and oil lying around you have to remember that this happened in a country with virtually no health and safety.
 
i was standing next to an electrical box and my friend threw a jolly rancher into the air. i reached to grab the jolly rancher and when i brought my arm down i scratched my wrist on the electrical box. i had to get 5 stitches lol
 
I was longboarding down this hill at my school one night during the fall and started picking up a ton of speed on this narrow path. I was carving nice and tight and felt pretty good about it and actually made it to the bottom but when I got there I cut too hard on a patch of wet-ish leaves and flew off my board down an embankment. Landed on some rocks and shit but came away with just a few scrapes and bruises. A bunch of people saw me do it though so shit was embarrassing
 
jumped over a sprinkler of death, broke my arm, shattered 6 bones in my wrist separated all of my tendons and ligaments got some cysts and surgery a year later because doctors are fucking dumb.
 
made a pizza that i was so excited to eat at 3 am the other day, went to grab it out of the oven..i guess i wasnt drunk enough to not use oven mittens
 
waxing skis, picked up the iron in a retarded way and melted the majority of the skin on the bottom of my wrist.
 
got pissed shooting hoops in my drive way and threw the ball as hard as i could at a tree, it rebounded directly in to my face. i woke up a few seconds later laying flat out on the ground. no one saw, and no one was home, but i felt like a fucking dumbass.
 
running around the house in socks when i was around 5 years old, boosted around the stair case and slid directly into the corner of a wall. my right knee hit first because i was falling backwards as i hit it. hit the ground and blood went everywhere. i now have scar on my knee that distinctly looks like a cross.
 
was running around Big 5 Sporting Goods at the prepubescent age of 8 with my friend James. I had just gotten the new Soap shoes! while my mom was at the register purchasing these bad boys, i slapped my buddy james in the face and said "you're it!" and ran away. i hit inside on of those aluminum racks that hold clothes. on the way into the rack i tripped on the aluminum bar on the bottom and got a massive rug burn that required a couple stitches and a shitload of guaze.

i now have a permanent scar on my right elbow, making me weenus look incredibly wrinkley.
 
just got done with soccer practice, walking to the cadet store (i went to a military boarding school) kicking the ball around with my buddy, i try to get to the ball before it rolls into a slightly wet area, i slip and tear my meniscus. the next day my knee is the size of a melon. i get an MRI later that week to hear not only about my meniscus, but also that my ACL has been ruptured (torn completely apart) for at least 6 years, or basically since I was about 10....

 
prob when i hoped from regular to switch caught an edg broke my headphones and god a nice big headach/ kinda concussed
 
when i was about eight, i was sicking with my brother. he ducked a rope and i went to follow him. i did not 'duck' enough and got clothes-lined in the face. i had huge metal glasses when i was younger and the rope jammed them into my eyes. my eyes were swollen shut for a good three days.
 
hahah i was sloshed once and this girl cooked an entire box of bagel bites. like 82 or something. i picked the tray up directly out of the oven with my bare hands and proceeded to eat like half the bagel bites. my hands were fine because i only held the baking pan long enough to set it on the counter, but my mouth was completely fucked.

 
When I was about 7 or 8 it was my dads birthday and I woke up early to make him breakfast. I get out a box of cereal and I can't open it. So I go into my knife drawer and get the biggest knife I could find and sliced away. I ended up completely missing the cereal box and cutting my finger. I got seven stitches...
 
once i put a power cord to a cd player in my mouth.. i got shocked pissed my pants and got launched across the room. i was 10.

another.pissed at a rail slammed pole onto rail and broken end shot and hit one ball.. i got dropped.

best one ever. i was like 11 or so at the beach house and we had a steep driveway, i was on rollerblades and i was like shit this driveway is steep and i figured.. hey.. il just stop myself on the back of the ford areostar. so i turn and aim for the back of the minivan. and i go balls out hit the back and break the rear window with my head i was wearing full pads but i got fucked up.. i wish i could see it from a 3d person POV.
 
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