Get hurt Feel stupid

Jamerson

Jamerson

Member
lets see all the stupid ways everyone has hurt them selves.

lace hooks on a pair of snowboard boots hooked together as I was walking out my door and I fell out smashed my knees on a metal grate and face on ice

Go!
 
my room mate and i were having back problems, so we started hitting each other with a 2x4
 
Broke out half of two of my teeth riding my bike into a rock wasted.

Took a rope swing into a rock giving myself a gnarly scar on my back.

thats all i can think of right now, but i hurt myself all the time so i might think of more.
 
rope swing straight into a tree. i tried to swing around the tree but it was the most implausible thing ever looking back on it. i ended up with a face full of bark
 
Kicked a couch. Said couch was apparently solid concrete covered in fabric. Broken toes ensued.
 
When I was a young, hyper lad, I was running around my house and got clothes-lined by the open oven door as I turned a corner. Pretty epic.
 
Oh skiing drunk, fell through a fucking frozen lake. didn't get hurt but soaking wet. Same day I dropped an eight foot drop and got shinbang, fuck skiing drunk
 
First grade me and my buddies were having a "see how high you can jump off the playground" contest. The playground at that school was pretty decent, two stories and shit with a bunch of ladders. So I was winning until a challenger arose. He upped the ante to maybe 12 feet. I couldn't lose, so I went the second highest ladder, and jumped. I won, of course. None of those little pricks could beat twenty feet. But I did break my wrist. No biggie.
 
Last day of school in 2nd grade I fell on a domino that was standing up and my knee started bleeding. I got up and asked my teacher for a band aid and she told me to go to the office. Turned out I needed stitches.
 
That reminds me:

5th grade I was curious if I could cut a paperclip with scissors. I got my left hand in the scissors and right hand pushing the blades together. Finally cut through the paperclip and took a good sized chunk outa my middle finger. I had to go and get a compression bandage and everything!
 
I snowboarded down 100 metal cheese grater stairs in a lecture hall in front of 400 people. I fell and fractured my wrist and scraped up my ass and back on the last 3 stairs. I don't even snowboard.
 
First grade. Playing with a swiss army knife. Cut a giant gash in my three fingers, because the blade closed while I was trying to cut something
 
shitfaced bombing a hill on my skate, it had just started to rain and i was feeling overly confident, chucked a slide no problemo and then ate shit turning a heelside corner. wheels started to slide, eventually hooked up and threw me off my skate backwards downhill. gashed up my elbow and put a little fracture in my wrist, definitely felt like a dumbass on that one and didnt end up going to the hospital for a couple of days.
 
backflipped off "the big rock" in little sebago lake but didn't jump away from the rock enough and landed in the water around two feet away from where the rock touches the water. too bad the rock protrudes under the water a little ways down. jammed my toes on said rock tearing a bunch of skin off. and and and band-aids wouldn't stick on my toes cause they were all wet!
 
it was raining and i was skating from class to my car, there were tons of people walking along the same path i was on and it was downhill so i cruising along and slashing puddles and doing slides and trying to spray people with water, i hit this one puddle that was really just a jagged hole in the pavement, my skate stopped dead and i flew off and cut the fuck out of my elbow and my hip and bruised my ass so bad. fucking everybody laughed their ass off at me, i felt like such an idiot hahah.
 
skiing switch on a cat-track clowning around after lunch, started to spin around to turn forwards, caught an edge and tore my rotator cuff upon faceplanting into snow. refused to accept that i was hurt until i woke up the next day and could not lift my arm past a right angle to my body.
 
Came home one day after skiing and realized I was locked out of the house. My gf at the time was coming home soon so i decided to wait on the deck for a few minutes til she got home. We had a wood stove for heat and our wood stack was on the deck, so i thought i would take advantage of the time to make some kindling for future fire starting. I picked up the hatchet and started in. You can see where this is going. I almost hacked my finger off with the hatchet, and i'm locked out of my house, bleeding to death on the deck. I ran over to the neighbors and they took me to the ER. 20 stitches later, I realized that it would have been better to just sit on the deck and wait. I'm lucky i didn't take off my index finger.
 
my friend had his longboard one time, and i was telling him about how i liked longboarding also. i asked if i could try his board (not realizing that his wheels were about 10 duro softer than mine) and tried to do a coleman slide and completely failed and fell on my ass.
 
i was 7 or 8 and climbed a tree in the winter and used the buckle on my snowsuit to strap myself to the tree 15 or so feet up...bottomline: pain
 
pulled a Sideshow Bob and stepped on a rake the other day. now i have this big scab on my forehead.
 
also, playing ultimate frisby barefoot, i went to make a cut to get open, rolled over my big toe, almost broke it, and couldnt walk straight for about 2 months. it still bothers me a bit someti
 
it really sucked. i was supposed to wear an orthopedic shoe for a week, i wore it for about 5 hours. maybe thats why it took months to heal...
 
Biking to work in the rain right after smoking a few bowls, my mom calls. Biking one handed to talk on the phone, but I'm going too fast so I try to use the break. The rear brakes don't work so I ease on the front brakes, checking to see how reactive they are. They feel really loose and shitty so I put more weight on the handle, doing a full stall and almost leaving half my face on the concrete. DIDN'T EVEN MISS A WORD IN THE CONVERSATION
 
Fell off scooter years back and busted my head. no health insurance at the time(moved to idaho). 8 stitches makes one hell of a med bill
 
tripped on a lego block and broke my big tow. It was really gross and wiggly and purple. The lame part was it was a single lego block, not even the lego car that was right next to it!
 
i was maybe 8 and i couldnt reach plates and shit in my kitchen so i jumped up on the counter, wearing what i call "swishy pants" do to the sound they make. my knee slipped, causing my left testicle to be smashed on the corner of the granite counter top.
 
oh and at the gym got too cocky with my kangs, tried one with 2 warm up bounces and no pad, bloodied up my face on the concrete side of the pit.
on the upside jumping with a numb face felt suprisingly refreshing
 
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