Gaper Confrontations

jack_weisman

jack_weisman

Active member
So i know that most people on NS have had some kind of confrontation with a gaper, either yelling at them to stop being gay, stop going off the side of jumps, etc.  so anyways i had a pretty good one recently.  so as most of the conversations start, one yells "dont go off the side of the lip"  and it usually ends relativly quickly with them calling you gay or something on those lines.  so this dad, maybe 40 or so, come through the park in a pizza with his daughter between his legs trying to control her.  so they both go off the just remade lip of a flat down.  as they pass i say "please dont go off the side of the lift" .  not trying to start something and not being a dick just letting them know that they shouldnt do that.  so the guy goes by and as soon as the words leave me mouth he yells, "WHAT DID YOU SAY", like i had told him to go fuck his own mother.  so anyways he attemps to stop with his daughter between his legs and he catches and they both flip over and he lands on here, which was pretty funny, but i kept my composure.  So his dad, who is like 70, comes down and says its there a problem, dad says of the small girl says "i want to here what this kid said".  so i explained why it ruined the jump and that it made it more dangerous for us who were actually hitting the rail to do it, etc.  we retailateds with "why dont u mind your own buisness, punk".  so im like what are u talking about im trying to be civil about this, your the one in the wrong.  so now the grandfather starts yelling at us about how we need mind out own buisness and that kids are so rude these days, and how his son is a better skier than ill ever be, blah blah.  so now im mad pissed because these people are absolutly fucking retarded.  so i reexplained my point and that he could ask the park crew about it and shit like that.  so he like your being rude, and im like now im not.  His comeback to that statement was im an lawyer.  so im waiting for him to explain his statement, so im like "yes?" what does that mean, "that doesnt mean u know what your talking about, or can me in any kind of trouble".  so he says im going to make your worth nothing and skis away.

i know u have them too, share them hear
 
this one person on ski blades using poles hooked onto my snowboard and did a yard sale. i took that ass whipe put his mouth on the flat box and curb stomped that bitch.
 
me and my friend were going upo the lift with these 2 gapped out kids from florida they were talking to eachother about how much air they were gettiong of the side of the lip and jumps. so i had to tell them that by doing that you are kinda ruining it for everyone that actually hits the rails. then he started telling me that he could get way more "air" going off the sides. so i told him that i would actually hit the rail and beat him in our little competition. then he said (i broke out laughing uncontrollably after this) it is way harder to hit the side of the lip than to actually jib the rail. me and my friend couldnt stop laughing and he was getting really pissed. so we got off the lift and went to the park. i was first in our comp and i 270 on and 270 off. he told me that was easy and actually tried a 270. long story short he landed switch on the rail in the nutting position(rail was to low to rack yourself on) fell forwards and nailed his face on the rail. that kinda ruined his day and they yelled at us and left.
 
I went off a jump at PC doing a 5 mute as some stupid snowboard gaper did an ass plant on top of the lip. He screamed in terror it was quite funny.
 
My freind was dropping into a table, and in the middle of his drop, some lady skis and stops right on the knuckle. so he skips the lip, and as he snowboards by her, he starts barking voilently. I could hear this from like 300 feet away too. haha it was so funny. At first I thought it was a 10 year old on the lip, but it was like a 50 year old who skied like a 10 year old, with the knees buckled in a snowplow form like a newborn deer.
 
i was going up the lift with these other chill dudes, and we passed this two foot cliff. a kid had left his snowboard right at the bottom of the cliff and was on his cell phone.

"Dude Guess What!"

"...I just found out my girlfreinds pregnant!" the dude sitting next to me finished.
 
once i dropped in to hit this little table at my home mountain, and i went for too fast of a spin taking away all my speed so this was a peice of shit jump like 10 feet so i just landed no problem and this gaper kid comes of it full speed and lands straight on my arm, it hurt sooo much and his edge dug into my forarm so i get up with my arm slaughterd and i go to the lift and i see this kid and i freaked out because that hurt like a bitch and i was like what the fuck, learn some manners kid you didnt even say sorry , its kids like you who give faggots a bad name! so im yelling at him and his dad comes over and tells me to shut up, then he takes his kid and goes on the lift and i never saw him again,

also similar situation exept it was really bad conditions so i was buttering off the lip and this kid comes up and flys by and the edge of his board snagged my goggles and now i have a slice going through the side of my lenses
 
2 weekends ago, i was just finishing a run through the park, and this runaway snowboard came flying down through the park. It actually hit the lip of this kicker and 50-50ed the flat box. I rode over and stopped it really quick and picked it up. I examined it and it was smaller and had a rental marker on it. Sure enough this father came down in a pizza and was like "is that my son's snowboard?" And i was like "Well I'm assuming so. You should really make sure your son keeps this leash thing here on his leg so this doesn't happen again. This could've really taken somebody out."

He flipped out on me telling me that I have no business telling him how to teach his son to snowboard (which I also thought was kinda funny since he was on skis too). We ended the confrontation with me telling him that he was handling the situation very immaturely and he didn't even bother to thank me for stopping the board. He then replied, "I hope you go and break your leg on that rail."

 
yeah mines similar to yours, in alot of ways.

this sunday im at the drop in for our like 22 foot superpipe when this dad wearin a bike hlemet and his two 5 year olds come and hes like "ok you can go in and make sure togo back and forth. and the first kid starts going in.

I asked him if he has a park pass, which i knew he didnt because his seasons pass was hanging out of his coat due to his extreme gaperness. He asked me if i was some kind of authortiy on it and i said no im really not, but i dont think you have a pass. He said well now your just being (i forget exactly what he said but like snooping) and told me to mind my own buisness. i asked him again if he had a park pass and then said, well i can see your pass now and i know you dont have one. and they put this pass in to keep us all safe. he started getting all definsive and telling me how his kids (who now were about 1/4 of the way down the pipe after about 15 "hits") were completley safe and that they were much better skiers than me and i was just being rude. then we argued for abit when i told him that people are trying to train and his kids which take 3-4 min pipe runs were getting in the way and could get hurt. hes just like your just scared cabuse my kids are better than you and skied away.

so the next time he was in there he started to drop in and i naturally cut him off, jumped out of the pipe, and dropped in and cut him off again. i think he reported me to the liffty but they coldnt care less probably.

theres a progression park for a reason. fuck
 
So I was riding the lift next to the park and a group of kids probably about 12-14 roll up and just stand on the deck of one of the bigger tables in the park. Next a couple of dads roll up too. I yell "Please don't stand there, its dangerous" or something and they don't move. Then a snowboarder in front of me yelled the same thing. I felt a bond with him.

I also saw a 7 year old kid tell his parents that he wanted to go in the halfpipe. AND THEY LET HIM. This pipe has like 18 foot walls of pure ice. He has no business being in there.
 
ummm

ive had plenty

one time i was going down the last hill till the lift switch like always and i fly by this guy in complete control not even close to hitting him and get into the lift line so low and behold the guy gets in the line grabs my arm and starts going on how i need to learn how to fucking ski and how i must think im so funny so me being the little smart ass i replied with a simple "blow me" long story short i had to ride the lift up with him and the whole entire time i had to listen to how much of an ungrateful brat i was i just kept laughing cus he just kept repeating himself

but then about halfway up some boarders that were on the lift told the guy the shut the fuck up but he just started going off about them it was pretty funny he tried to report me into ski patrol but they didnt really do anything
 
haha a guy in a one peice and a day pass told us he was going to "pull our passes if we threw shit at people off the lift again" i admit we were being immature by throwing condoms full of mayo at people but the fact that he threatrned us like that while he had a day pass was hilarious.
 
My friend Shaun was carrying the tripod and skied around the beginner lifts with 2 legs retracted, and he held it up to his shoulder like it was a rifle. From far away it actually looked like a rifle too! He told me that after I left, the resort tried to persue him to pull his pass because they thought he had a paintball gun.

and the funny thing was that he would go up to gapers, and from like 3 feet away just point it at their face to distract them, and go "SCHPEWWWW POW POW" and just make up all these noises
 
at the park 2 days ago i was trying to film my friend on a fd box and right when he was gopna go a crew of like 10 little kid gapers come running by on the freshly remade jumps for rails going off the side. so we had to wait till they were done and i just said to myself fucking gapers...not only that they fell on every single jump. and of course they sit right on the lading when theyre done. and my friend did the steeziest boardslide ever on this box and some gaper kid sticks his head right infront of the shot as i was filming. not wanting to ruin the clip i didnt shout at him till after i stopped recording. i basically told him his head was in my shot and i dont appreciate him ruining the jumps for rails and he just said "what" and went on
 
at my hill there is a hill that has a sick pitch jump u jsut like foat and clear the whole hill so we usually end our day with that the lifts were jsut about to close s four of us are booking it down goin super fast and i hit it first to my surprise there is a mom and her ittle daughter sitting right in the landing areai see them just before i take off and adjsut myself i landed on 1 ski and almost kill myself my second friend comes lands on the tips of there skis my third frined comes almost goes into the trees and my fourth friend jsut lands on them so we are all super pissed she comes down starts yelling at us so we let her have her rant then we grab her lift ticket and show her the "skiers code" thing and rule number 2 dont stop where you cant be seen and we all tore her apart it felt pretty good
 
This one time my friend went to hit this C box just as this little girl was riding over the jump, and she ended up hitting the end of the box with her tips and fell over, and my friend was on the box and his tails were about 2cm from fucking hitting her right in the face. Then her mom started to freak out. I just sat there and laughed my ass off.
 
this guy goes right in front of me when im dropping in. I say hey watch were your going. He then goes in front of me again on the next jump. I say yo i told you to watch where your going people are hitting jumps. He then says SHUT THE FUCK UP. I start running my mouth at him and his austrailian gaper buddie comes up to me saying hes going to beat the shit out of me while at the same time yelling what did you say punk. It was mad funny because his accent and his yelling diddnt work to good so i just started laughing
 
yeah during ski club like 80 people sit on top of the table tops at my park, it gets so annoying, they do it so often people still hit the jumps and just crash into them on purpose

but i hate when there are gaper skiers that sit infront of boxes, and i go to try a 270 on, and slide off the side and fall, and they laugh, and then they just 50 50 the box

i hate that
 
well im riding up the park lift and some guy about 30 years old on rental skis tries to slide a 30' flat box and falls on his ass so i just yelled "no rentals dumbass" and he looks up and ducks the rope to the beginner hill
 
last weekend i was at the north peak lift at sunday river and i see this gaper calling my name and waving to me and i couldnt figure out who it was. i thought it was my friends mom or something and but i couldnt tell so i went up the lift. i got down to the park to find out that it was NS's Sean.
 
I Constantly mistaken other people for a friend of mine and people have gotten hit in the back of the head for it too. Well anyways theres this rider who goes off the side of the box and I yell THOMAS FINNERTY'S A FAGGOT! Thinking thats him. WEll I meet up with him at the lift and are like, right to his face, like I said asshole, your a fucking faggot. the kid looks at me weird then looks behind him and then looks at me again like why did you just call me a faggot. So he's like who me? Im like fucker you heard me. And by then I realized im insulting the wrong person and appologize
 
One time about 2 years ago we were in the park and this dumbass snowboarder was actually sitting on a rail like it was a bench. My friend was going to drop in first and yelled for him to get off and all he did was reply that he can do whatever the fuck he wanted. My buddy then skied down and told him that if he didnt move he would bash his face in and the kid and his friends got all pissed untill I skied down and when they saw that there was two of us they left.
 
this fat guy was standing directly on the top of the landing and everyone is telling him to move and he wouldnt so we got about 20 kids and each kid snow sprayed him on the way down.
 
haha my fried did that, he walked up to this kid and punched him in the back of the head and went "AHHHHHHH DILLLLLDOOOO!!!!!!!!" and the kid just looked at him like WHAT THE FUCK he was just like "uhh sorry i thought you were someone else"
 
haha i was going to do the exact same thing.. we constatly have buses and shit so i was going to do a timelapese of the 2412984732 buses unloading, then show all the people trying to carry their shit awhile walking but just dropping everthing and when i og to hit i jump, i was going to make sure i film the 20 kids that cut me off first (no exaggeration at all)

 
i dont really have any "gaper confrontations" from the park..but once in the lift line sum lil grl pissed me off.

a few weeks ago my ar5s got all fucked up so i had to go get new skis..this years rossi scratch create-it. the black and pink ones...so sick! so its the first time im ridin on them and im about to go away the next day so i wanted to keep them nice for the vacation...okay so im in the lift line and this girl in front of me kept sliding forward and hitting the person in front of her so she decided to step over to the right a little bit. she steps right on my skis and i got sooooo pissed. i wantd to punch her! too bad she was only about 10 but still...that cunt chipped my skis!

 
some gaper went off the side of a rail and landed directly onto the tips of my skis. i lost my cool and blurted out 'nice job asshat' and he just boarded off.

im never buying white skis again, people run over my tips all the time...
 
all you need to know is that I get cut off all the time. I am like the master of it. so naturally I say something, and it usually isn't too nice. I bet if there is a gaper union, I am number 4 on their hit list
 
pick one to read theyre not that good i just feel like ranting about it

i rode up the lift at gore with this guy and his daughter. he was about 50 and she was about 3. he was on like 210 cm k2s from like 1980. he had the trail map and was showing his daughter different trails they could take without getting stuck back at the line for the gondOHla. i dont understand why they insist on stressing the o. does it make them feel cool? gar.

then later that day, which was back in early january when, due to the weather being gay, there were 16 trails open, i was skiing hawkeye, the one decent trail up top that was open and had slushy but fun bumps on it. there were more people on the trail than there were moguls, and every time i got in a rhythm and started skiing a good line, one would fall in the line and fuck me up. none of them were close to being good enough to ski it so why do they bother? cant they just be happy skiing the green or blue gaper trails?

oh and last saturday i was flying down some blues just for fun at the end of the day, at which time it is very entertaining to use gapers as race gates. i always go about 10 feet in front of them as long as i can judge when they are going to make their completely illogical turns. well this one lady who must have been 60 was standing there in a wedge in a pink one piece snowsuit from the 80s and i passed her doing about 30 abotu 5 feet in front of her. she fell over and yelled at a patroller who was nearby to pull my pass. he chased me and when i got to the lift he was like you shouldnt ski like that. after i explained to him that i was in complete control and there was no reason for her to fall, he was like well really i know, but you have to keep them happy since theyre our main source of income.i was like woooow a ski patroller actually came out and said that.
 
i'm not a very confrontational person, so i dont really get in those situations. I ski at killington though which sucks cause the park is so crowded, all the time, its ridiculous. I thought it was funny though when i was waiting to drop in at the superpipe and this lady skis down and she's like "you need to get out of the center of the trail" haha, i found it hilarious, i laughed. The reactions from the people around me were great too.
 
Surfing last fall at Pleasure Point (Santa Cruz) - Uber localized with wanna be rock-star punk meth head toothless surf wizards -

It was a large day - probable 8-10 feet - close to double head high on the larger sets -

I was way outside, as I hate scrapping for leftovers with the rat pack -

After some patience I caught a clean green monster and proceeded to scream down the line into the rat pack that waits on the inside -

Now most of these guys follow the rule of surfing to the letter and now better than to shoulder hop infront of a 6-foot tall 200lb guy with a shaved head and a 7-6 pintail mini gun who is maching down the wave at full speed -

Needless to say, one of these morns felt that it was his wave, and dropped in right infront of me, I drilled the fucker and his arm snapped

After getting tossed and washed around in the whitewater - I found the dude - did the right thing and helped him to the stairs - On reaching the shore I was greated by three of his meth head non-surfing punkass friends - who proceeded to break my nose with a swift sucker punch out of left-field

WE scrapped, and fortunately it was broken up before my ass got really kicked -

fucking gaper meth heads
 
no gaper's at my hill have to confidence to say anything to me, i yell at them to clear the fuck out and they do, it's a good system
 
its bad on the hill, but seriously... some of the idiots that come into buy skis are unbelievable.

one kid comes in all the time and every time its something stupid. apparently this year he bought boots at our sale, x wave 9.0's i think. anyways he clearly just didnt understand how a boot should fit and came back complaining that his feet hurt after half a day of riding and he wanted his money back and proceeded to tell us he paid upwards of 400 dollars for the boots (sale price 299). now, this is all well and good... we're used to retards who forget how a boot should feel in the store and we do all we can to solve his problem. fit him for new boots, give him the money that we can garuntee he paid for the boots back, adjust his bindings. but while someone was doing in the back the kid walks up to the wall of skis and points at the wall with the regular apline skis on it (we used to keep twins on another wall) and goes "mom look, these are those twin tips i was telling you about." so clearly, i laugh to myself and try to control my amusment until they leave and i can tell my coworkers but he has to make it even better by asking for an application to the store on his way out.
 
Hahahaha oh god that was so funny, me and Luke went EXTREME gaper for a day.

I would just call out NEAL and then give a scary wave and he was like wtf?
 
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