funny storys of you getting injured thread

S

SkiUnit03

Active member
i didn't search this but whatever. just post a funny story ending in your getting hurt or something.

ill start off.

alright, i was in gym class. and we were playing softball (very gay) and i was up nexd to bat. and this girl whos acctually my friend was practicing swinging with a matal bat. she plays stoft ball on a team and bats like a crazy mofo. anyway, she was practicing her swinging and she thought she was not in hitting distance of me. but she was litterally in FULL SWING and smashed that mafacka right in my head. she was was swinging as hard as she could and crap. anyway, i was completly taken by surprise and got knocked to the ground, 3 seconds later i got up laughing and stumbleing around. the girl was like O MY FUCKING GOD!! CHRIS IM SOOOOO SORRY!!! and she was litterally in tears. then i was taken to the nurse who said i should get examined by a real docter. so my parents picked me up and took me to another doctor. i was fine and might had a minor cunncustion. i got to take the rest of the day off anyway. it was pretty cool. and i will never forget the beutiful sound of when the metal bat made contact with my head, such a clean 'click'!

My friend\'s and I formed a NO GIRLS ALLOWED club when we were little. Then we gave it up when girls made my penis get hard

-midwest_rep

r u sayin we r being censored by da goverment?

fuck pussy dick suckin lips

-freeze_pooter

 
This didnt happen to me but i definately helped... My friend and i were bored as fuck one day, long story short, we tied my ski rope to his '93 caddy. My friend got on rollarblades and I was drivin. We were crusin round my neighborhood, i was drivin round this curve and im lookin in my rear view when i see my friend disappear. At that time we were goin about 40mph. Needless to say my friend was fucked up. No broken bones but his skin was fuckin gone. Apparently he rolled in the street a few times before he hit grass. Yea i know this was retarded but thats why i drove :) Oh yea he was made fun of for that like the last two years of highschool. haha oh well

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france sucks
 
ran from cops drunk.

climbed on top of convience store.

fell off.

landed in bush.

side was all scraped.

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Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

NO MORE BU** SH**
 
So me and my friend decide its a great idea to take out go ride our bikes out on the trails in the middle of the night with no lamps.

So I decide to make it interesting and duck through the woods, I fly down the side of a hill which was fine, pretty clear stuff. Then I slide onto this guys driveway. The driveway bends down the hill into a private road in the valley I live in. So I fly down the driveway and off into the side on the grass.

At this point I think its a great idea to really arc it as his driveway meets the road.

I smash into a telephone pole at about 20 mph and go flying I roll and flip and toss and turn. My headset and bars are all fucked up and so its my Hayes Lever. I ended up with a concussion.

Great fun.

-AndrewP

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Per solitudinem ardere in remedium formidinis dictitabat.

Define to me a waste of space.
 
In gym class we were playig softball and I ripped it deep into the outfield so I was like I'm just gonna trot around the bases. Well the ball got in faster than I thought so I took off for home, the catcher dropped the ball and it rolled in front of me and I stepped on it and rolled my ankle, the worst part was I was thinking, don't step on the ball don't step on the ball.

Minor Threat Trailer

Peter: When you go on a cruise you need to build up a base tan.

Chris: But I heard that in tanning booths you can get something called Melenoma

Peter: Don't worry son that's just fancy talk for sexified.

Member 957,647,789,468,952,001,657
 
ok so im the receiver for the football team, i went out for a pass, and the ball cought me on the tip of the finger, my lil finger is broken, its got a lump, and its crooked, then i headed off to an element skateboards demo, skated with the team a while, and got autographs, then comes the product toss, i had a deck in my hands, and some black kid tackled me stole my shoe, hat, and the deck, not to mention he broke my ankle when he landed on it, so now i have 1 shoe, no hat, and 2 broken bones, how much shittier does it get?

that was 3 nights ago

I wrote the words to this song on the back of a photograph

Behind your back it goes

A little something like this is way to big to miss....

 
yea i was with my friends back in these woods by his hosue and he has some jumps set up and i hit one and i got wayyy higher than i thought and got close lined by a branch... so i just fell to the ground and got the sind knocked out of my and brusied my tailbone

ok
 
one time i was playin kickball in gym class, and we were playing on a gravel field thingy. and i was in the outfield and i went to run and grab the ball..and the ball was rolling, so i jumped on it to try and stop it..and i just went flying and i skidded on the gravel and practically ripped my knee cap open. I had rocks stuck in my knee and i had to get 10 stiches

 
when i was in fourth grade, i was at an olympia sports. my sister was getting a bathing suit so i was all pissed off that i wasn't getting anything. so i decide to get on this exercise bike and go as fast as i can. bad idea. i got the thing going so fast, and tried to take my feet off. the pedal came around and broke all the bones by my toes in my left foot. it really sucked. that happened right at the end of school so i was in a cast practically all summer.

 
my deck of my pool is 4 ft off the ground, and at the time only the top railing was attached

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i went to push my friend inthe pool and he grabbed my towel. i didnt want to fall in so i held on. he let go and i fell through the gap between the fence thing. i landed on my neck/back/hand and broke my hand.

(zach)
 
Once I was eating lunch and this little 4-year old ran up and stole my cookie. So I chased him around to get it back and I stubbed my toe and broke it.

I stubbed it going down the stairs and broke it again twice that week.

 
i fell down the stairs on my crutches, nothing bad happened it just hurt alot. i also watched my sister ski into a tree one of the funniest things i've ever seen

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Its winter, the birds have all flown south, all but one. One little bird that waited too long. As it flew to catch it's buddies it got icicles on its wings and fell to the ground. The bird then saw a nice looking branch at the top of a nearby tree and it said to a nearby cow, 'I want to reach that top branch but I don’t have then energy to fly up, can you help?' The cow said, 'Here, eat some of my poop it'll fuel you to climb up the tree.' The little bird said, 'Thanks!' and had some of the cow poop. The bird flew up to the first branch of the tree and rested, then the next day flew to the next branch, until finally the bird reached the top branch. Then the farmer came out with a shotgun...

The moral of the story is, bullshit may get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

 
i was sessioning a picnic table on my rollerblades a few years ago, and well here... watch this

-Joe

______________________________________

'Really, I gotta say that I'm glad you exist, 'cause if there wasn't there'd be noone to make fun of and diss.'

Solider in the NS ARMY

Rollers of NS unite!!!

603 for life

I'm conservative, just so you all know.

Member Number: 5172

'well lets just say its the gov secret way of killing off 1000's of people each day. hey were over populated anyway' -dloc in referance to cigarettes
 
^you win for having a video.

Logic Headware....temporary site is up, its about to blow up. where will you be?

Logic Headware

'rap aint about bustin caps and fuckin bitches, its about fluency and rapping ingenuity' Del
 
my old friend fucks himself up all the time. seriously the kid goes about 280, 6' 4'. hes a huge fuckin stoner/alcoholic/everythingelse. i could right a 10 page college essay about him.

some of my favorites:

sking down a blue hill. hes in front of me, and he fall on his side in a carve. he doesnt get up. i go up to him, and hes got that look on his face like somethjing bad happened. he broke his arm. ski patrol was flippin out, and he got up, walked down to the office, and sat on the clinic bed things. turns out the bone was stickin out all the way throung his arm, and he wouldnt let them cut off hios jacket, cause it was new. so they tried to get it off and it was catchin on his bone.

last year i tried to get him to try grinding on his shitty olins. he comes up to a really small trap box. he goes up and turns, catches an edge on the kink, and scorpians over the top section, faceplants on the down, and slides into the big hole in the landing. his skis flew off, about 20 ft in the air and landed a few ft from his head. funniest thing i have ever seen

when we were little, he bought a razor scooter. we tied a rope around a bike seatpost, and the handlbars of the scooter. we were cruzin around, thinkin we were cool. he tries to show off for all these kids and tries to bunny hop. well, as soon as he jumps, the thing dives forward, and totally leaves him hanging (we werr goin about 20 mph) he faceplants into the road, and it was an intersection, so theere was all sorts of gravel and shit.

this past summer, i was pullin him behind my car on a POS skateboard, right after it rained. he tried to carve into somebodys blacktop driveway, and ofcourse he washed out. landed on his ass, and slid al the way across the thing, and landed in the muddy ditch.

when he was about 10, he was playin golf for his bday or sumthin. some kid smaked this mofo in the head with a golf club. ever since, hes had this masssive lump on his forehead.

i seriouslly could go on for hours. i dont know how funny any of those are, but if you know the kid, hes the dumbest fuck alive.

I.L.I.A.G.A CREW!

I drink pepto bismal like its water.. -PJO
 
I was playing rugby one day, and i got kicked in the face. At the time i thought it was nothing, but then an hour later i blew my nose and my eye lid puffed up so big my glasses wouldn't fit. So i went to the hospital and found out i had a hairline fracture where the sinus connects my eye and my nose so everytime i blew my nose the increased pressure would jet into my eye lid and the fracture would close again. They fixed it by sticking a needle into my eye and draining out the air. I wasn't allowed to blow my nose for a month.

 
one time a little kid was cutting across the landing of a jump and i came down right on top of him. my feet hit him in the head and because i was moving forwards i flipped over him and hit shoulder first fucking the shit out of my rotator cuff. kid was crying but he was ok

P.O.W.D.E.R.

Playas Of Winter Downhill Expert Riders
 
when i was like 5 or 6 my brother put a lit sparkler down my back and it burned me hardcore. another time he was spinning around in circles and hit me in the eyeball with a huge stick (i dont need any immature comments on that)
 
I was working at Okemo as a ski instructor comming down Bull run early in the morning for line up...this was YEARS ago (1995). I was on some parabolic type 150cm carving skis with risers and was laying my hips down to the snow all eurocarve style and my buddy who was chasing me on a raceboard does this huge eurostyle 360 carve and we smack into each other face to face right infront of our ski school director and about 100-stright off the bus tourists waiting for us to teach them...

bloody lip, wind knocked out etc..
 
i could say that i was never too good at little league, but i always played and i wasnt the worst kid on my team. anyways, in 5th grade we were warming up for a game against another team, and i was catching fly balls in the outfield. one of them drifts, hits the top of my glove, and comes down and knocks 1 tooth out, and another is bent across where the lost tooth was. i had to sit and wait for a while there cause my parents never came to my games, then it took about an hour to find a hospital. i was gushing blood and all i had was gauze to put in my mouth. my dad didnt know any of my medical info, so i had to answer every question while i was bleeding badly from my mouth. i finally got a room, but i had to wait over an hour for someone to come see me. i was pissed by this time, and i hate needles. first he trys bending the tooth back into place, that didnt work too well. then he tries jamming the knocked out tooth back into place, it hurt so much. he then gives me novicane shots all over the roof of my mouth, those were awful. then he pulls the bent tooth out and i had to get surgery the next day to get the roots out. after surgery i was puking blood because the gas they knocked me out with made me sick, so i was puking blood for the rest of the day. i had to suffer through having no front teeth in 5th grade for over a week i think, that wasnt fun.
 
I was eating a boiling bowl of ramen noodles in my boxers, with my wee exposed, and my bowl slipped out of me hands, and I got a lap full of boiling noodles. couldn't play pocket pool for a month. longest month of my life
 
tried to 360, messed up, landed on my thumb. next run, did the exact same thing, landed on the exact same spot on my thumb again, it's still sprained.
 
me and my dad were golfing and these slow mofo's were infront of us so we were chipping the ball back and forth between each other, and so he chipped it to me, and i stuck out my club, it richoched (sp) off the face of my club straight up into my eye and then it swelled like a mofo

another time we were driving home from nh with some chicks and i was laying across the back seat and they braked very suddenly and i rolled off the seat and i hit my head on the metal part of the bottom of the chair and i was bleeding like a fucking mofo, like i bled through 10 napkins, so we had to pull over on the highway and then it miraculously stopped
 
i have so many weird stores

i was playing tag with a bunch of people wen i was little n the kid got pissed cause he was "it" forever and started throwing rocks, i had to jump over 1 and i looked back up n wam, right below my right eye

hittin one of those plastic hockey balls against a wall, friend wants to try my stick(dont say stupid shit), i was standing too close, got hit right above my left eye on the followthrough of a slap shot(and yeah hes a mad good hockey player)

no1 hurt but funny, theres so many bees in australian and they used to piss me off n my brother, so we went around with cricket bats hittin them n stepping on em, yeha so my brother goes to hit 1 n the bat snaps so we had to run

i watched my dad ski into a snowmaker, hahahhahah funniest thing ever

last weekend i watched a guy snowboard into my brother, we were both standin there talkin n all of a sudden he just flies down, starts screaming, and slides right into my brother, hes like you cant just stand in the middle of the trail, we were in the park, like 30ft b4 a rail waitin for it, and the guys in there n cant even turn and blames it on us

theres more but i cant think of em right now
 
oh yeah i was runnin on a beach to catch up to one of my friends and kicked my toe on a rock soooo hard it was unbelieveable pain

then on my other foot, same toe, same summer like a month later i kicked my toe into a corner or a wall, it had small tiles lined across the bottom and the corner was super sharp, and i kicked my toe real hard into it just behind my toenail peeling the skin back, it bled for over a day and i had my foot raised the whole time

my brother broke his leg wen he was 2.5 by stepping on a rubber ball
 
my dads done so many thing

stabbed a garden fork thru his toe

got shot across a room cause he stuck both his hands on 2 electrical bar things(i dunno exactly what) but yeah shot him across to the other side of the room

fell onto a fish tank wen he was little, had a huge one n was cleanin it n slipped off the couch he was on n cut his side open

walked, yes walked, thru a plate glass door, and yes i repeat plate glass, strong as hell, walked thru it...yeha i know, ur tihnkin exaclty what im thinkin...

hmmmm i dunno what else hes done

he used to have motorbikes n he went around a corner and slipped on sand n got sand all in his arm, he had to go to the doctor everyday for 2 weeks straight to get the sand cut/scrapped outa his arm

theres more but i just dont remember right now
 
There was in a gym lesson we had indoor soccer and there was a small "skinny" bench that blocked a small open area in the room, and the ball got kicked over that bench(1 foot high) and this clumsy nocontrolofhimselfandlims guy went to get it and when he was behind the bench and he threw the ball in the air and was about to kick it he smashed his foot in the bench and fell 1-2 metres in front of the bench and it was there i got injured......by laughter hahahaha, i spun two rounds and hit the floor and looked like I was going to die it was hilarious..
 
i swung at an inside pitch and broke my wrist... i have also played basketball with cleats on ended up breaking my foot
 
well, we always used to leave the door open in the summer,and then we'd put a screen door in, but then my dad decided that he wanted a glass one, and put it in. so, me and my friend were bookin it around with waterpistols, and i glanced at the door and saw that it was open, so i took off for it...WAM, ran stright through the glass door, cut the shit out of my feet/hands.
 
i was standing on a ladder trying to get in this wiindow and i purposely did the john belushi fall back on the ladder but i stalled it out i slide down some ivy and hit this metal rod in the ground and ripped my leg up funny though
 
well we used to always double on bikes. and these two girls were doubling. one on the handlebars, and the other peddeling. so we are going down this hill. and there is a 90 degree left corner. and a huge ditch with a driveway right after the corner. so of course the ditxy girls are jsut FLYIng down the hill. like killer fast. and when you go to fast. you cant turn. so there they are. flyinging down the hill. trying to turn. they go semi-striagh. through the ditch. which is like 5 feet down. then theyt hit the driveway. and its the blacktop ones. thats really steep. well they just SMOKE the driveway. and endo. and the chick on the handlebars, her head just smokes off the pavement. and then on the bounce back up. the chick driving, her head hit the other chicks. so her head hit the driveway twice. i fell off my bike lauhging.

another one. you know how some of the lawnmowers have that safety thing. where if you let go it shuts off. well i was trying to jump up, 360 and catch it before the thing shut off. and the back of my leg caught on some metal thing. and i had the gnarliest cut for like 4 weeks. never healed
 
my park is in such shitty condish right now so i hit this jump, overrotated a 3, i saw i was going straight at about a 1 1/2 ft tall snow ball w/ like a 6inch one right befor it. if i tried stopping i would ahve fucking killed myslef since i have no edges whatsoever and it was like 5 ft away so i tried popping over it and one ski ejected on the small snowball nad them my foot hit the big one. i flew 30 feet doing a misty over solid dirt with one ski. as soon as i landed i stopped dead, no rolling or anything and bashed my hip/head. i woudve been fucked if i didnt have my helmet on but it was fine within 1/2 hr.

as i was wrighting this i say on tv, this guy got sucked off the grond into a jet engine and his helmet jammed the prop and he crawls out alive.

as i was typing that^ there was another where an elephant sat on a guy and his head went up an elephants asshole, that was fuckin nasty.
 
I was returninmg punts in football practice and our kicker got a hold of one so I am running back looking over my shoulder and I ran full speed into a baseball back stop.
 
I just ducked under a ladder for painting out stairs and went to stand up again and nailed my head on the board that my dad was standing on, fell over, and rolled down the stairs, it basically hurt.
 
i tried to take something out of the oven and i was talking on the phone so i didnt realize i didnt have mits. when i grabed it i was so suprised my hand shot up and hit the top of the oven. i yelled and dropped the phone.my mom who was on the phone started flipping out untill i picked up the phon a minute later and told her i was fine. 2 burns on the top and bottom of my hand.
 
school baseball, grade 8. fly ball 30 feet in the air, comes straight down as a kid is runnin for it. misses the catch and the ball clipped him in the head. the ball bounced a good 10 feet up again and he fell straight to the ground. everyone rushing to his side and i just walked away giggling.

also, this girl got smoked in the boob with a softball, line drive, she was pitcher. it was sweet.
 
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