Funny story: my asshole friend learns a lesson

BobYohan

BobYohan

Active member
I've got a friend, let's call him A. He's a really funny guy and actually a pretty nice guy too but he really gets off on saying rude and innapropriate things especially to girls. All our girl friends know thats how he is and let him get away with it. Some classic lines include "wow, your ass got huge" "what the fuck? you're dressed like my third grade teacher" and " i'm going to fuck your vagina till it bleeds". A probably sounds like someone you wouldnt want to know and i thought so at first but he really has a way of pulling it off. Anyways we're at a club and he notices this one drunk chick that has been approaching a lot of guys. She comes to dance with him and he steps back and goes "sorry, you're going to have to be better looking". god knows why he said it, even he later admitted she was pretty hot. This girl immediately boots him as hard as she can in the nuts. While he is buckled over she beans him in the face, splits his lip and he's bleeding everywhere. His face is all fucked up and one of his teeth is loose and hes gotta go see a dentist. He's my boy but he had it coming.
 
wow she must have been crazy.

reminds me of one of my friends who can be a little like yours I guess. at a club last summer he and the other guys made a bet about who could hook up with the worst looking girl in the club. he started hitting in this really drunk and (sorry to say) ugly chick. the whole thing was so hilarious, he constantly insulted her, but she didn't get it cause she was so drunk. but the best part was when finally she gave him a lap dance and he yelled so everyone could hear him: "it ain't your beauty, it's your booty" haha, it was soo funny
 
Yeah...well, this friend of mine. We'll call him Reed. So he's independently wealthy, and so hitting up bars is pretty awesome with him. I wasn't there for this experience I'm going to share with you, but I heard it from another friend of ours who was. Still funny. So they're out at the bar, and Reed says alot of things. As of now, he's Captain Spokane, since he's been to spokane 4 times. He knows the entire city. So he gets off on telling chicks this, just because he's drunk and funny. Did you know when he goes to grocery stores in Spokane, he puts his hands out, says open, and the doors slide open for him? Yeah. He really is the Captain.

So this one night at a bar here, someone convinces him he should go hogging. (for you younger kids...probably 16-18 or younger. Hogging is where you go out, and try and find the fattest chick you can, and go home with her, fuck her, and take some type of trophy. Reed is very drunk. There aren't many fat girls there, so he finds a chick who's a bit overweight, but has huge tits, and she wants him to go home with her. She has a history Reed doesn't know about. Basically, had he gone home with her, he probably would of had ass beads stuck inside him. Seriously. So my friend is trying to convince him to just leave, because as funny as it would be, we actually like him. So they're leaving, and since he's had about 18-20 drinks, he's out of control. He says.."Just a minute, I have to do something" So he runs up to this chick he's been herded away from, and says "Hi." and grabs her giant tits, one in each hand, and buries his face, and starts moving it back and forth, so her titties are slapping him all over the face, and he's stuck in her cleavage. Then, he stops like nothing happened, didn't say a word, and walked away to leave the bar. That my young friends, is fucking awesome.
 
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