Funny Short Jokes

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

because it was dead.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

hey, where's my tractor?

what did the farmer say when he lost his taxi?

why the hell do i have a taxi?

what's big and yellow and eats grass?

a school bus - i lied about the grass.

 
what's the difference between a ski instructor and a party pizza?

a party pizza can actually feed a family of four.

 
why are womens feet shorter?

so they can get closer to the stove

why dont you ever wanna buy a woman a watch?

cus theres a clock on the stove

 
i have so much racist ones

here is one (old)

why r balck peoples palms white?

because there is a little bit of good in every1

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
 
sm, your first 4 jokes were halarious!! i shall try and follow up with some of my favotrite jokes:

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Cause it was stapled to the first one

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a drive way

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
----------->Capital.City.Rider.
--->Phunkin.Phatt.Phreerider.

'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
 
another racist1

why r chineese ppls faces so flat

cause of airbags

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
 
RACIST JOKES SRY, but there kinda funny

-y r black ppl so good at basketball

-b/c they shoot, steal, and run

-what do u call a black preist

-holy sh*t

-If in the middle of the night you see your tv floating in the air, what do u say?

-hey naggar put down my tv

-what do u call a black sky diver?

-air pollution

AND NO IM NOT RACIST AT ALL.. just jokes

 
How do you stick 5 cocks in your mouth??

I don't know, ask ALANTASKI.

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'If only real chicks when down this easy' Comic Book Guy
 
hahahahhaa

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
 
sorry about these

how many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesnt matter women cant change anything

or

1 to do it, and 9 to form a support group

What do you do when your girls watch breaks?

nothing, theres a clock on the stove

176cm of freedom on my feet
 
im not racist but...

Whats long and black?

The welfare line.

Whats the one thing a black man won't take?

A job.

What do you call indians in a ditch?

A sleepover.

Whats an indian artifact?

A beer bottle.

Whats a rare indian artifact?

A full beer bottle.

How do you find the richest native on the reserve?

Roll a nickel down the hill and see who gets it.

Why did the black man buy a cop car?

So he could sit in the front for once.

How do you drown a black person?

Pop his lips.

Once again Im not racist but i found these jokes hilarious and most of them came from my black friend.

______________________________________
~never be bought. never be sold~
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please vote for my jones soda picture Bullseye
Check out my portfolio if you like photography Nick's Portfolio
 
so this moth went to the dentist

and the dentist asked the moth why he was there

the moth thought for a second... 'cause the light was on'

Its Morphin Time!
GO GO POWER RANGERS
 
What did Spider Man study in college?

Web Design..Ha!

'The true measure of a man is how he treats another who can do absolutely nothing for him.'
-Samuel Johnson

'I refuse to tip-toe through life just to arrive safely at the door of death'- Unknown
 
Racist, but whatever...

how long does it take a black woman to take a shhit;9 months

whats the difference between a bucket of shit and a black; the bucket.

*****************************************

'Check youself before you wreck youself' -Ali G
.
We heard you hate us, we hurt you fakers./It takes more than your jealous ass to break us. - Looptroop
.
S-CREW///
 
im not racist/sexist, but...

what do black people and snow tires have in common? they both work better in chains

why do black people smell bad? so blind people can dislike them too.

why can't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman.

why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? you would kill yourself too if your name was blaaaaaapeuivndkeutlcvetgsfk

------------------

The preceding statement contained scenes of graphic violence, and should not have been viewed by children.

Parental discretion was advised.

 
Q: what do u call a bunch of mexicans holding hands around a house.....

A: a spicket fence

Q: How many black people does it take to single a roof?

A: One, just cut him up into little pieces

Q: How do you keep a black guy outta your backyard

A: Hang one in your front yard

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I Like to Ski
 
whats a name for a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

what is similiar between michael jackson and mcdonalds? they both stick there weiners in six year old buns

**************************************

"i

m gonna blow up ns with a car bomb" -JimB

"andy you need a hair cut" - numerous girls in my class

Stoned Creak Crew

Spandex-Coming soon (stoned creek crews video
 
what is the difference between a snowboarder and vacum? the way you strap in the dirtbag

**************************************

"i

m gonna blow up ns with a car bomb" -JimB

"andy you need a hair cut" - numerous girls in my class

Stoned Creak Crew

Spandex-Coming soon (stoned creek crews video
 
im not a hippy or a peace and love guy but seriously jokes about black people aren't funny whether your racist or not, i really dont like them.

How do you know a blonde has been using your computer?:

-theres white-out on the screen

-the joystick is wet

Gravity sucks

What's the difference between a drunk and stoner at a stop sign???

The drunk speeds through, the stoner waits for the sign to turn green.
 
k, it's not really short but whatever

how do u get an elephant into a fridge?

open the door, put the elephant in, close the door.

how do u get a giraffe into the same fridge?

open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door.

the lion, king of animals, calls a meeting. which animal isn't there?

the giraffe, he's in the fridge.

you're in africa and u want to get across a river famous for being infested with crocs and hippos, how do u get across without a boat (or a fridge)?

swim, all the crocs and hippos are at the meeting.

I AM CANADIAN
 
whats the difference between sm (a member here) and neil armstrong?

neil armstrong was the first man on the moon, sm tells really fuckin bad jokes.

_________________________

just ski.
 
ok, this one isn't short either, but meh.

a black guy, a mexican, and a white guy go walking on the beach. they find a lamp, rub it, and a genie comes out. the genie gives them one wish each.

the black guy says, "i want all the black people in america to be back in africa" and *poof* all of the black guys are back in africa.

the mexican says, "i want all the mexican people in america to be back in mexico" and *poof* all of the mexicans guys are back in mexico.

the white guy says "so all the blacks and mexicans are gone?"

the genie says "yep"

so the white guy says "well in that case i'll have a coke"

yeah i edited it a little so it wouldn't be as racist, but u get the point.

I AM CANADIAN
 
whats the difference between a vacuum and a harley-davidson

the position of the dirtbag

my friend told me he punches one out into his hand and throws it (load) at his chicks face and yells "yahtzee!" no lie.-couchskier

*NS Skateboarders*
 
How many telemarkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

-none, they're all dirty hippies with no electricity

What does a woman at the beach say to Michael Jachson?

-Hey! Get out of my sun.

"We're super, incredable, heavy duty dudes!" - Cheech Marin

"My eyes, they can't take in his radness." - Sonny Anderson

"Wild Flour Wild Water" - Danny Day

"The goodness just explodes in my mouth!" - Bill Fleming
 
how many black people does it take to pave your driveway?

One, if you spread him real thin

Yea. I said it.

____________________________________

-STEVE STEPP

"Hey. You hear what I called him? He can't do JACK about it." - Master Shake
 
whats the difference between bigfoot and a hard working nigger?

bigfoots been spotted

$ $ $ $ $ B O S T O N | B A C K C O U N T R Y $ $ $ $ $
 
whats the difference between a niggers daddy and the holy grail?

you might find the grail

Yea. I said it.

____________________________________

-STEVE STEPP

"Hey. You hear what I called him? He can't do JACK about it." - Master Shake
 
whats long and hard on a nigger?

1st grade

i'm sure 99% of this site knows that jon gets laid more than 99% of this site. --strode420
 
whats the difference between a large pizza and a black man???

The pizza can feed a family of 4

I Love Head

 
it doesnt mater if u claim to be "not racist" at the beginning of your posts. if u sit around on your computer telling mean jokes about black people, then u are a racist. you may not want to identify yourself with that term, but its true.

SHOPLIFTING--My Anti-Drug
 
wtf, school? are you in summer school or do you live in austraila

-kulpy-

gangsta raps lyrics are all the same, Someone gets shot, someones frontin, someones a wangsta, someones benchpressin, someones makin fried chicken, and the beans dont burn on the grill. You can see that shit in kentucky. Fuck the bronx, deep south bitches-scientist
 
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