Funny Short Jokes

mintcrue

mintcrue

Active member
I will start...

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

-4, 1 to hold the bulb and 3 to drink until the room starts spinning

... keep em coming

Strike 3
 
You might be a redneck if your grandma goes to the bathroom and comes out yelling “Come look before I flush it!�

'Split ends, out until I can get more Pantine Pro-V.'
-skiierman talking about his season ending injury

Handrails Cult Check it out!
 
A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''

The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

oh god these are great.

'Split ends, out until I can get more Pantine Pro-V.'
-skiierman talking about his season ending injury

Handrails Cult Check it out!
 
this one should get some responses...

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

Give the bitch a shovel...

Strike 3
 
SORRY I COULDN'T HELP IT!!!!

gd


'Split ends, out until I can get more Pantine Pro-V.'
-skiierman talking about his season ending injury

Handrails Cult Check it out!
 
Whats the difference between a blode and a dishwasher???

The dishwasher dosent follow u around after you put a load in it

S.W.E.D 420
 
A guy walks out of a bar and is really wasted and he sees a nun. Out of the blue he just starts attacking her, pushing her on the ground, curb stomping her. After she's really gotten the shit kicked outta her the drunk guy says 'not so tough now are you Batman'

-Anthony
 
your mom is so slutty she wears underwear to keep her ankles warm

***************************************************

yes, five words indeed. MISSION FAILED, FAG.-mommy
 
if I wanted a joke I'd follow you to the john and watch you take a leak...

[/i][/b]

- Harvιε


I ski therefore I am

 
If you think the national anthem ends with 'gentlemen, start your engines', you might be a redneck

yo momma's so stupid that when your dad said you were getting a color tv she asked 'what color?'

________________________________________

switchskier88: ive got a pretty bad ass wedge turn

i swear to drunk im not god.

1st member to call NS Radio contest, and first to fail miserably.
 
womens rights i couldnt help it

Rubber Ducky steeze, awwwwww!

sorry boys, there was no pro hoeing-skibrdingbtch

However, they are little bitches that haven't even heard of metal edged skis or the clitoris-twintipteles

Mint Tea Addict
 
the fact that you called them 'short jokes' and not the correct term 'one-liners' is a joke in itself

--------------------------------------------------

'We've seen your future... and just like your sister, it sucks.'

Lets meet as little as we can.
 
somebody put this on here before- the only smart thing that has come out of your mouth is einstines dick.

Member 15877
 
u know ur a red neck if ur house has wheels and ur car doesnt.

ur mommas so slutty that i would be ur dad but the dog beat me up the stairs.

 
lol that reminds me of a monologue i heard once: 'my house got hit by a tornader!' 'hmmm dummy maybe you shouldn't live in tornado alley! It's not that hard to move, your house has wheels!'

Strike 3
 
mintcrue you totally stole that from me!!!! check out the thread about women being the inferior sex...yea that's right. that joke is mine. sorry.

- - AlpineSurfBum: gonna clean the fish tank again? - -

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
 
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

Give the bitch a shovel...

is the joke i was referring to.

- - AlpineSurfBum: gonna clean the fish tank again? - -

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
 
what the shovel one? cuz i heard that from a friend's brother, but if u really want credit for it since it is 'YOUR joke' go for it...

Strike 3
 
really??? wow i had never heard it before until my dad told me like 3 weeks ago. i guess it is a real joke. no no, you take credit. i didn't know anyone else knew it.

- - AlpineSurfBum: gonna clean the fish tank again? - -

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
 
ahahahaha i don't care dude i was joking. it is a very good joke however.

- - AlpineSurfBum: gonna clean the fish tank again? - -

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
 
If I had a dog as ugly as you...I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards...

...

I swaped the Alps with the Middle of Wisconson can't wait till I can go back where I belong!
 
How many skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine. One to screw it in and 8 to say nice turns.

 
What does Snoop Dog use to clean his 'whites'??

B-L-E-O-T-C-H

*****************************************

**********

''I'm a MOG: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.''

''What's the matter Colonel Sanders, CHICKEN?!?!?!''
 
What does Snoop Dog use his Umbrella for?

fo drizzle

*****************************************

**********

''I'm a MOG: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.''

''What's the matter Colonel Sanders, CHICKEN?!?!?!''
 
Here is a sexest joke: What do you tell a woman with two blacks eyes???

Nothin, you already told her twice

*****************************************

**********

''I'm a MOG: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.''

''What's the matter Colonel Sanders, CHICKEN?!?!?!''
 
haha that is a good one...

Why did OJ Simpson move to the south?

-Because they all have the same DNA

Strike 3
 
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?

A: Gonorrhoea

Q. How can you tell a macho woman?

A. She rolls her own tampons.

Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?

A. Your ass kicked.



short skies suck !

You can't get hurt skiing until you fall
 
Yo momma is so fat that when she walks into the Gap, she fills it!

So this rabbi and a priest are sitting in a boat and the rabbi turns to the priest and says 'This is the stupidest joke i've ever been in.'

Why is it so hard for girls to find a good looking, fashionable, sensitive, caring guy nowadays?

-Because those men already have boyfriends.

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

-10: 1 to do it, and 9 to say, 'I can do that'.

How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

-2: 1 to hold the giraffe and 1 to put the clocks in the bathtub.

How many communists does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

-None. Why? Because the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

=================================

Rowen

'Aren't you Buzz Lightyear?'

*whispers* 'I love your movies!'

'URAAAAFWAAAGAAA!!!'

 
ahahahha

////////////////
who the hell takes pictures of themselves with a camera phone?? those are made to sneak pics of girls tits and underwear-lateralis

[+] [+] [+]
 
how do you tell if a dumb blond has been in your car? theres a rubber over the stick shifter

 
Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart

He heard little boys pants were half off

Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?

'never tryed tele, it just looks gay...' Jess-001 (Feschies, better watch your back)
 
how are mcdonalds and michael jackson the same?

they both like to put thier meat beatween 5 year old buns

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top