Funny pickup lines

oh yeah.....
did you know you have 206 bones in your body want one more

hey nice shoes..wanna fuck ?
 
so there was 2 guys at a bar and he first guy had a beer and turned to the second guy and said "hey i had sex with your mom." and the 2nd guy was like shut up. soo the 1st guy came back a little later after a few more beers and spoke loader saying how he had sex with his mom and the second guy just said shut up, closer to the end of the night the 1st man came back after a pitcher of beer and stood on the table and yelled how he had sex with the 2nd guys mom, and the second guy says shut up dad ur being a idiot...
 
okay, yes, they're from family guy
"you must be a parking ticket.....because you've got fine written all over you"
"if i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put u and i together"

"can i put my weiner in your bunghole?"
 
Do you work at subway cause every time i see you i get a foot long!

Do you have a band aid cause i just scraped my knee falling for you
 
Let me read you a poem (pull paper out of pocket)

Lashes to ashes,

lust to dust,

without women,

my penis would rust,

Would you help keep my penis from rusting

Hey, you should come to my place to do some math,

we can add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and mltiply.

Do you know Karate cus your body is kickn

Thats a nice outfit, it would look better on the floor of my apartment.
 
is there a mirror in your pocket because i could see myself in your pants

i tought that one to a youngin and when he used it on a girl my age everyone cracked up
 
Hey do you play the flute?....Because you charmed my snake

Dost though haveth a mirror in thine pocket?...Because i can seeth minself in thine pantaloons

-a fun renaissance spin on a classic! most fun at medieval and renaissance fairs
 
your daddy must be a lumberjack, because when i see you i have wood in my pants

what has 143 teeth holds back the incredible hulk?......my pants zipper
 
i thought it was...

Hey, you should come to my place to do some math,

we can add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, leave the solution and hope to god we dont multiply.
 
orrr.. ppull out a peice of paper

read.... roses are red violets are blue
i like spaghetti, ya wanna screw ?
 
no steve but nice attempt

best one if from "Night at the Roxbury"

(make sounds like an ambulance), you know what that is the sound of?

an ambulance coming to take me away, because when i saw you my heart stopped
 
A mexican kid on my soccer said this to a MILF (his accent makes it so much better) "I like your eyes....wanna fuck?" She just ran away and we were all just cracking up...
 
"are you good in bed or is that just me?"

"are you a cow because i spotted you?"

"Lets do math, You plus me, minus the cloths, divide the legs, and hope to hell we don't multiply"

"I heard the word of the day is legs, why don't we go back to my place and spread the word"

"Ill be Germany you be poland, and ill fuck you in the ass"

"I bet you couldn't get my whole dick in your mouth"

-------This one is sooo funny-----

"Does this towel smell like chloroform?"
 
these three are fool proof:

1)you're like a championship bass... i don't know whether to mount you or eat you.

2)do you like to dance? well then, can you go dance over there so i can talk to your friend?

3)can you help me find my puppy? i think he wandered into that cheap motel room.



 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top