Funny pick up lines.

this ones gay but you asked for it:

wanna go out for some sex and pizza?

no

what you dont like pizza?
 
Good news, the test results are negative

Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you

I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
 
heres two that have actually worked for me

"if i kiss you, will you shut up?"

"if you step on my shoes it'll be easier for you to kiss me" (to a short girl)
 
use that one it will work every time

and ya theres another one thats like three pages filled with them
 
is your name gillet because your the best a man can get

do you have a shovel in your pants cause im digin that ass

 
im back for these

does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

and

hey, are you gana walk to your car by yourself later? cause ill be over here watching you
 
works everytime, and in my ochem lab i always asked my lab partner if the chloriform smelt weird to him
 
stolen from caleb

Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!

Hey , I'm the cable guy, my only policy is that if I hook your cable up, you have to hook mine up!

I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.

Baby... wanna come for a ride?

The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.

Save water, shower with a friend!

You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.

I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass)

Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.

Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons.

Quick, somebody call the cops, you just stole my heart.

I love every bone in your body, especially mine!

Hey, is your name Gillette??? 'Cuz I think your the best a man can get.

If I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought.

If you'll be my DairyQueen, I'll be your BurgerKing...You treat me right, and you can have it your way!

What do you say we add my last name to your checking account?!

All I need is a little piece and quiet. So give me a piece and I'll be quiet!

I'm not feeling myself tonight, can I feel you?

Used when you have successfully tried to call a girl over by using the single finger 'come over here' gesture. 'Wow...I made you come with one finger... imagine what I could do with 2!'

My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Do you wash your clothes in windex? Cuz I can see myself in your pants!

If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd love to tap that ass!

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...

Congratulations! You've been voted 'Most Beautiful Girl In This Room' and the grand prize is a night with me!

Do you know what'd look good on you?? Me.

Here's a quarter...Call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight!

I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast!

Picture this: you, me, bubble bath, and a bottle of champagne!

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off of you!

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.

Look at the tag on her shirt and say: 'I wanted to see if you were really made in heaven.'

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your bedrock.

I can lick my eyebrows.

You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

can i have some money, so i can call god an thankz him for creating an angel like you

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

I s there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

Can I have directions? ['To where?'] To your heart.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.

You must play the trumpet, because you sure make me horny!

Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'. 0 0

Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!

Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.

You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.

If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

Fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name pocahontas?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I have a watch that has an amazing function-it tells me if you are wearing any underwear or not, right now its saying your not.(yes I am)oh it must be an hour fast.

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
 
hi. I'm Emmett. Whats your name?

works.

and if that doesnt, just say

are you from heaven? because i have an enormous erection.
 
theres alreaDY been a thread like this but

u-how bout we go to my place for some pizza and sex

girl- eww no

u- whats wrong u dont like pizza
 
did heaven just lose an angel, cos you have great cans!

let me get you a drink - do you want gin and platonic or scotch and sofa?
 
To girl: Can I sit here? or is your boyfriend coming back?

Girl: Oh I dont have a boyfriend

You: Oh, hi my names how are you doing

60% of the time, it works every time.
 
when i was throwing out my garbage in lunch i said to the girl next to me " hey baby, you come here often" as we were standing next to the garbage bin. i though it was cute....
 
this ones on me (hand her a drink) mabe later i can get on you

this ones outa control bet its never works but who cares

you: ughhh i feel sick

her: oh whats wrong?

you: i fell like theres an elephant in my stomach

her: what?

you: and the trunks coming out already
 
iv seen these 2 in action and its fuckin hilarious,..

1. can I stick it in your ass

2. Whats your favorite chess peice

neither worked but 2 got a response
 
i made this up the other day at lunch. greatest one ever...

"if this was a book, i'd be the rising action, cuz when im done, you're going to climax."
 
"That shirt would look great on my floor. Right next to the pile of panties I stole out of your dryer. They smell like you."

-stalker pickup lines from collegehumor.com
 
can i have two nipples for a dime. i mean nickles.

if we flip a quarter what are the chances of me getting head?
 
i used the second one. it was soo funny cause the girl told the teacher that i'd passed her a note and the teacher was like "let me see!" so i grabbed it and ate it real quick like
 
oh and

"did you just fart? cause you blow me away"

and "is your dad a baker? cause you've got real nice buns
 
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