Funny pick lines

[jabronis*aunt]

anyone got any??

 

[.Jacob]

 

[eastcoastplanker]

i run faster horny than you do scared

 

[.Emerson.]

I would swim up the Amazon with 45 lb dumbells tied to my scrotum and Ellen Degeneres's queef as my air supply if it meant I could eat a nice sea food dinner with you over skype on a dial up internet connection

 

[marsh.]

roses are red violets are blue. i have a gun. get in the van

 

[chiefbroseph]

you turn my soft ware in to hard ware!

word of the day is legs, lets go to my house and spread the word!

are you an alien? cuz you just abducted my heart.

 

[jeremyo13]

i am really tempted to sig the part about ellen's queef as air supply

 

[Troy.]

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

 

[Anathema]

i saw a girl taking a shot by herself at the bar one night when i was with a bunch of buddies. i looked over and said "forever alone" with a :[ face. she laughed, we spoke, we drank, we danced, i took her home. overall, it worked out pretty well. lucky, i guess. turned out she was a bit of a joker and was familiar with all the internet shenanigans too.

 

[Flying~Squirrel]

HEY YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASS FUCK THIS IS A REPOST SO GO SUCK A GIGANTIC FUCKING DICK YOU PIECE OF SHIT WANNABE DICK FACE SHIT HEAD

 

[Bubba-Snax]

hey do u like re-reading thing that have already been posted? cuz boy do i have a bunch for you!

 

[Finnbear]

Hahahaha sigged

 

[.Jacob]

one day I will finally write something sig worthy, and I shall be happy.

 

[Steeze_Minister]

Merry Christmas

 

[Kangbang]

What's got 300 teeth and is holding back the incredible hulk?

My fly.

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

I can't jelly my cock down your throat.

 

[hot.pocket]

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

 

[E__]

My dick just died can I bury it in your ass?

 

[AntEater]

I just pissed my pants, can i get in yours??

 

[Peter.]

does this rag smell like chloroform to you

 

[ShakeWeight]

"Your all wet can i come in.. "oh thats not how it goes"

 

[Will.T]

Me: Hey babe wanna searchbar sometime?

Gets the girls on my dick every time

im like a rubiks cube... the more you play with me the harder i get!

Hey nice legs, what time do they open?

woah how did you find your way so quickly?my way where?

the way to my heart..

i lost my teddy bear, can i sleep with you?

Nice to meet you, why aren't you sucking my cock.

wanna play pearl harbor, i lie on the ground and you blow the shit out of me

"Do you work at Subway? Yah Because you give me a footlong!"

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac..

I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Wanna fuuuuck?

Are you from Ireland? because when i look at you my penis is dublin

uy goes and sits down beside chick in class

girl: um hi

guy: Hey is it cool if i sit here?

girl: sure I guess..

guy: ok sweet, whats your name?

girl: answers

they chat for a bit, random bs

girl randomly says: just so you know I have a boyfriend

guy: Im wearing a purple shirt

girl: uh what? laughs awkwardly..

guy: Oh sorry! I thought for a second there we were talking about things that don't matter!

 

[Mr.Burns]

wanna get a cheese pizza and fuck?

 

[alexg1687]

You ruined the last one....

guy: So, want to come home with me?

girl: I have a boyfriend

guy: I have a goldfish

girl: what?

guy: Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter.

But really this entire thread is largely pointless. The only pickup line you'll ever need: "What's your name?"

 

[Mike-O]

.

 

[.Tom.]

I think we have a winner ladies and gentlemen.

 

[sweatshirt]

didn't read the thread...

 

[Zvarenza_724]

You didnt finish the joke...

her: ummm no

you: You dont like pizza?

 

[hot.pocket]

I did, just somehow missed that one.

 

[Mike-O]

Haha, that is pretty funny.

 

[Deluge]

GUYS OH MY GOD.

 

[Joebin]

I tried using this pickup line once. It didnt work very well...

 

[Mike-O]

Hahaha... Jesus. Now that's funny.

.

 

[bjobe]

Is that a mirror in your pocket, because i see myself in your pants.

 

[ForeverYung]

Hahahaha

 

[Darth.Maul]

I have the white one! /MOFUCKINGCLAIM!!!

ITS HOLOGRAPHIC!!!!

 

[Bassage.]

let us fuck!

 

[james6345789]

I'D LIKE TO CUT OFF ALL OF YOUR HAIR AND UH... PUT IT IN A BOX

 

[El.Guapo]

my dick. your ass. no lube. and a hella good time

 

[bangarangmules]

"Want to know how I know we're having sex tonight? Because I'm stronger than you."

 

[jkauffman22]

* Girl randomly says: just so you know, i have a boyfriendguy: and i have a math test...

girl: uh what?

guy: i thought we were talking about things we were planning on cheating on.