Funny Movie Quotes

S

Skierguy1234

Active member
just put a funny movie quote, that if said at any random time would be funny.

does not necesarily have to have been funny in a movie.

for example:

"It puts the lotion on its skin"
 
this is on a poster in my teachers room

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
 
i didnt like zoolander as much as most people, but "just because we have chisled abs and perfect bone structure, doesn't me we can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident" is pretty funny.
 
I love all the lines from the movie, Superbad. This scene is great

[fantasizing about stealing liquor]

Seth: You dropped your purse, ma'am. Would you like me to help you with your shopping?

Old Lady: That would be lovely! Do you want me to buy you alcohol?

Seth: That would be lovely!

[at the cash register, after buying alcohol]

Seth: Enjoy your remaining years!

Old Lady: Enjoy fucking Jules!

Seth: I will!
 
Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era. -Ron Burgundy

Chicka-Chicka Yeah Yeah!- McLovin

 
Liquor Store Guy: Sir, did you do this? On the floor?

McLovin: Umm, uhh, no. But you should clean this up, someone could really hurt themselves..

Liquor Store Guy: Fuck my life
 
"I would have trimmed my antlers if i knew we were gonna have company."

"my grandma drank all my weed"

-grandmas boy
 
the arsonist has oddly shaped feet

the human torch was denied a bank loan

unique new york

By the Beard of Zeus!

Great Odin's Raven!

By the Hammer of Thor!

Sweet Grandmother's Spatula
 
-"sorry dude, you cant stay here, this is my office as well as my home. and besides, the loin comes tomorrow."
-"Wait, you're getting a lion?"
-"Ya"
-"why"
-"to protect my shit"
-"havent you ever heard of a dog?"
-" dude, you can get past a dog, but no one fucks with a lion"

"I cant believe you came on my mom"

"Dude you sleep in a car bed"
"ya, but its a fucking sweet car. My roommates are gonna get me a radio so i can talk to other car beds, and my sister said shes gonna get me some spinners for my birthday"

"Be quiet, i dont wanna wake my roommates up."
" wait, dont you live with your parents?"
"ya....same thing"

hahahahahaha, Grandma's Boy is a classic!
 
hahahahaha so hilarious. basically any line from superbad...

you know, you scratch our back, we'll scratch yours.
well the funny thing about my back is, it's located on my cock!

i'm gonna give you the best blowjay ever!

 
from superbad when seth is pissed at mclovin he goes

I KNOW THAT FAGEL

then if you have seen the ladies man theres the "well you see the thing about doing it doggie style is" quote, along with most of that movie in all its epicness
 
you chose mclovin?!!

it was either that or muhammed

how many fuckin muhammeds do you see around here?

its the most common name in the world read a fuckin book!
 
"do you wanna dipisize your meal for a quarter more?"

"want me to punchisize your face for free"

....

"gimme a liter of cola"

"a what"

"a liter of cola"

"liter of cola do we have liter of cola"

"would you just order a large farva"

"i dont want a large farva, i want a god damn liter of cola"

"i dont know what that is"

"liter is french, for gimme some fuckin cola"

..

"does that look like spit to you?"

"yah"

"ahh fuck it"

..

"damn it you burger punk, you son of a bitch!"

"aaghaahh"

in my opinion one of the greatest comedic scenes of any broken lizard production.
 
for $20 ill call the guy a chicken fucker

do u know how fast u where going
65?
63
officer isnt the speed limit 65?
ya it is

_Supertroopers
 
San diego, german for, a whales vagina.

Uh, thats not correct.

Well actually schollars don't know the meaning.

Actually i think it means st. diego

No no no, it has no meaning.

And you ate, the whole... wheel of cheese! WOW im not even mad, thats amazing!

Sooo many good anchorman ones.
 
Superbad- Dick Drawing Scene

"I used to have this problem when i was a kid but its like 16% of all kids do this so it isnt that bad"

"like what?"

"i used to draw dicks"

"You mean man dicks?"

"ya, i would just sit around and draw dicks all day, hairy dicks, magical dicks, huge dicks"
 
hahai have to quote the best movie ever.

Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?

Hitchhiker: Hell no.

Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is very valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?

Hitchhiker: No.

Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?

Hitchhiker: What?

Raoul Duke: Never mind

Raoul Duke: There's a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake, coming straight at us.

Dr. Gonzo: Shoot it.

Raoul Duke: Not yet, I want to study its habits.

Raoul Duke: Argh! Well, you'll go straight to the gas chamber for this one. And even if you manage to beat that, they'll still send you back to Nevada for rape and consensual sodomy. She's got to go.

Raoul Duke: There's a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake, coming straight at us.

Dr. Gonzo: Shoot it.

Raoul Duke: Not yet, I want to study its habits.

PLEASE. Tell me you got the fucking golf shoes
 
AHHHH i see we have a fear and loathing in lax vegas fan.....

and from the legened of ricky bobby-

Ricky Bobby:

How was school today, boys?

Walker:

I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.

[Chip is starled[/i]]

Ricky Bobby:

Sounds like a good day. How 'bout you, TR?

Texas Ranger:

The teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C.

Cal Naughton, Jr.:

Bingo.

Ricky Bobby:

Nice.

Texas Ranger:

She said "No, you're wrong." I said "You got a lumpy butt." She got mad

at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change

my pee-pants all day. I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee-pants.

Cal Naughton, Jr.:

I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There's no shame in that.

and-

Chip:

I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!

Walker:

Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!

Texas Ranger:

I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!

Cal Naughton, Jr.:

Yeah!

Ricky Bobby:

Yeah! Now turn up the heat!

Cal Naughton, Jr.:

Go on and get some, boys!

Ricky Bobby:

Come on!

Walker:

I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!

Texas Ranger:

Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

Cal Naughton, Jr.:

Like a spider monkey! Go on!

Ricky Bobby:

Chip, you brought this on, man.

Walker:

Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!

Chip:

What is wrong with you?

Texas Ranger:

Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
 
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