Funny away messages?

[TheQuailman]

does anyone have any good ones?

 

[MarkieR]

Researchers have found that Bottlenose dolphins can recognize their own reflections in mirrors placed in their tanks. The mirror study is part of a larger effort to identify and weed out vampire dolphins.

 

[NFproductions]

nice^

 

[yeti]

If anyone has heard of The Champ from his radio spots...i met him last weekend @ Hooters and got him to record my voicemail message. its fucking awesome.

 

[shrEddie]

random boner.....walking it off

i remember that was funny in 7th grade

 

[Scratch*my*Back]

'im in the shower. try not to think about it too hard. no need for both of us to be wet.'

 

[tBatt]

^haha thatsa good one

 

[bigsoxfan]

chuck norris can predict the shuffle on his ipod

 

[TheQuailman]

i like tht one

 

[Rhastaman420]

did anyone hear that chuck norris counted to infinite........TWICE!

 

[*i<3snow*]

haha i like that one. I think im gonna get a shower right now so i can put that up haha.

 

[Grimace.]

this is not the place for a chuck norris joke thread.

 

[Frostfired]

mine isn't all that great but it ges ppl all the time. "hello...(pause) yo..(sligt pause) just kidding im not here so drop a msg and ill call you bak

 

[iskilibertys]

I'm like a rubix cube; the longer you play with me, the harder I get.

 

[blakroc]

Chuck Noris only masterbates to pictures of chuck noris

 

[sneather]

haha i love it !!

im def going to use that one sometime

 

[mski]

I had quite the crazy voice mail message that fooled everyone everytime.

 

[sKILOve07]

haha thats my favorite one!

 

[ski8990]

haha yeah me too. I kept getting messages that went "What? hello? are you there?"

 

[TRIppEN]

hey the topic here is away messages lets get back on track

 

[kabozo101]

Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

 

[SkiCrzy]

haha

 

[skiierman]

Hahaha I like that away message up there, the one with the shower. But yeah my cell phone has me going, "Yeah, what's up?" Then after a pause it goes, "Sorry, but I'm not really here, leave one."

 

[Redstar]

I fucking HATE when people do that, haha. My buddy CHris' phone is like that, and it seriously gets me everytime.

 

[steeze*nspice]

what the hell is an away message...like on msn? or on an answering machine?

 

[dowalibeast]

here's one

"hey guys sorry i'm not here right now it's weird cuz i spend all of my time on msn. but i'll be back in less than a minute you can be sure of that. don't worry i'm probably just masturbating or something. i'm gay"

 

[Capt.Flannel]

I have one from last night that's wicked funny; mean but funny.

zach0420: Sam i just remembered

zach0420: our trip to salvation army

zach0420: where you loudly proclaimed

zach0420: fuck this store, it is so poverty

 

[aoe]

this is mine..

Jessica Alba, please msg me with your number, I lost it. Also, you forgot your panties here. see you soon..

 

[Elijah.]

do the little %n thing for whoevers sn that looks at it

just say

" %n pissed me off so I'm going to go kill them"

 

[Capt.Flannel]

I was pissed at my roomate once so my away message was "finding a wrench to fuck up my roomate with" and later on I saw my roomates away message was "Hiding the wrench". It was funny.

 

[Snubluck]

Haha, that's good.

Away Messages are stupid but my voicemail is "Fighting zombies leave a message *SHOTGUN BLAST*" Good times.

 

[ATLskier]

heres another one, "seriously though, some of you assholes are going to get all the way through this before you realize your reading my away message"

 

[skiierman]

_____________________________

^ There, you see that? That is the heartbeat of the joke you just KILLED!

 

[JockinJLoads]

wasting good time with good times