Funniest thing you've heard on the chair.

on the lift with a massive gaper He starts complaining about how shitty the mountain is for not having a pond skimi told him that the base was less than 6'' starts to go on about how they should dig into the dirt
 
One time at a school trip i was skiing at Le Massif (Near the st Lawrence), we were talking about how cool the river looked. Then some guy told my friends and i that sometimes there is whales jumping, and that Indians shoot arrows at them.
 
nothing really funny or sketchy has happened to me on a lift, the only thing i could think of was these 3 or 4 little kids got on th lift with me last year, and asked me if i was a pro just because of the way i looked. but im sure we all throw snowballs off of the lift sometimes, this year was the first time i have ever hit someone in the face. /claim
 
a little 11 year old was telling me he was in the bloods...next i told him till shank his ass...he proceeded to tell me he has 5 weapons on him and to shut my fuckin mouth
 
true. the rest of the lift ride probably would've been pretty awkward if you said no, anyway.
 
"I found that one question can tell me alot about a person"

me-" what question is that?"

"what's your favorite kind of porn, mines POV cuz its like the chick is right there (grotesque hand motions)"

-or-

My friends convinced two gapers that they were riding the lift up with that they were hunter-gatherers from a village of 28 in northern arizona. they claimed that they only learned how to speak english 2 weeks before, and learned how to ski the day before, before doing 5s and 7s in the park right in front of these people, and the gapers believed them
 
I rode up a lift with a kid who was on shrooms at hunter once. My friend and I always make it akward when we are paired up with straight laced kids, we say shit like

"Say you were adopted by a lesbo couple would you call one dad? or would you number them?"

"Well i would call one 'top' and one 'bottom' and i would ask each of them every morning what to call them, it would change depending on the night."

turn to kid "What do you think?"

They usually try to ignore us

 
exact opposite of what the thread is asking but i was in sun valley just after christmas and i was in the singles line with my friends, talking to them, and this dickhead with his two friends who was about 40 got pissed and started yelling at us for being in the "singles" line when we were actually a whole group. he asked us if we were from L.A., which we said yes to, even though we were from portland.
I wait in the line, and i end up on the chair with this ass and his 2 friends and they start giving me shit.

anyways, i shut him up by telling him that my friend was actually my adopted brother that my "dad" had been sued for having, since the original real parents wanted him back, and it took 3 years for it to be resolved.
they started asking me questions about it and i just answered
the deepest i have doven into a double life
 
It's really fun to mess with people on the gondy, for example if it's silent, just yell really loud and have your friends not mention it for the rest of the ride. Also, making up bullshit facts and talking to your friends about them is great too, since it's obvious that everyone else is listening. For example, "I heard the owner of this mountain makes over 3 milllion dollars a year!" and keep going on about it.
 
(insert sexual joke about auschie's mother)

anyway. my dad and i rode up the lift with this seemingly gay couple who acted like they were on speed. they said excellent excellent excellent a lot. always said it 3 times, not 4, not 2, but 3. they continued to tell us that we can avoid leg burn by eating til we're sick the night before
 
my skis are line chronics and i was riding up with this extreme gaper who looked at my skis and said "so what are those, eagles? thats cool. I love eagles." he didnt say anything for the rest of the ride.
 
at first i was confused by the title and i thought you must either be talking about the dentist chair or a toilet.

mostly just old people who are clueless towards freestyle skiing and act like dumbasses asking you about your skis and stuff.

funniest thing was probably this dude in a neon onepeice who was totally serious. he slipped onto the double with me. pretty sure he was european.

second funniest was this guy wearing jeans, a canadian national hockey team jersey, oakley thumps or whatever and some rear entry boots. he was skiing on a pair of arg's (on a solid ice groomer day in maine) and so i started talking to him about them and he was talking about how great they were it was pretty silly.
 
so i rode the gondola at killington with some kids who were like 10 years old, who proceded to light up a cigarette that one of the kids pulled from his jacket. they all asked each other for draws. they accused one of their friends of being gay and jacking it in the school bathroom. when hit with this accusation, he said "i love fuckin' pu**y." then they asked me whether i though he was gay or not. i can't really remember what i did, i think i was too confused by the whole ordeal, but looking back, it was pretty damn funny, and really strange. i think at one point i even said to one kid, "what are you, like 11?" haha
 
i was talking to my friends about weed (we were in middle school still and didnt actually smoke). this random guy told us that weed was ok but we should never do sherm. we asked him what sherm was. he told us it was embalming fluid and some other shit. who the fuck is stupid enough to smoke embalming fluid?
 
rode up with this 50-some year old guy on closing day at PC. Some teenage girls skied below us in bikinis and he yells "lets see some tits!" then proceeded to tell me how they wouldnt dress like that if they didnt want us to see their tits.
I also love messing with gapers on the chair. i convinced one that during the pro snowboard comp there were snipers hidden in the mountain and they already shot someone that they thought had a bomb. also when some people on the chair with me were talking about the alpine coaster at PC, i convinced them that 5 people flew off of it and died. they all believed me too hahaha
 
i know people who've done that except they make tea out of it. apparently you get kinda fucked. cause you know nutmeg is poisonous in high doses right? well if you inject it. don't ask how i know these things...
 
i had a guy probably in his 70s ask me for weed. he then proceeded to tell me all sorts of stories about the shit he used to do when he was blasted in the "good ol days"
 
okay, so this is what went down.

i went into the singles line. first run of the day, my freidns wern't at the hill yet. and i get on the lift wiht 3 guys, around 25. they were from quebec, and english was their second language. and they didnt know how to speak it that well, best lift ride of my life.

i was on the end, and the guy right beside me epens his pocket and pulls out burger king fries.. yep.. its like 9:30 in the morning... and he is eating half eaten burger king fries. and ofers me some, i say no thanks. the guy on the other end is drinking froma flask. he offers me some " capting morg" thats how they said it. i said no thanks. they other guy finishes eating his fries and pulls out a terry chocolate orange and starts hitting it on the safety bar, and he drops it off the lift by accident.. and then they started asking me the most random questions ever,,

" whats your favorie mcdonals burger?" " how many beers can your drink in a row without puking" " have i ever thrown a rock at a homeless person" and more. and were are almost about to get off, they start singing Replay by Iyaz.. ina frech accent..

best lift ride of my life. COOLSTORYBRO
 
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