Funniest thing you've heard on the chair.

Steezy_me123

Steezy_me123

Member
We've all been stuck next to the crazy old man a time of two. What the funniest story someone's ever told you on the chair/ tried to do to you on the chair.

Someone tried to sell me blow on the lift once, I respectfully declined and informed him that i worked there. He went silent pretty quick.
 
i dono but yesterday a crazy dude was following us around salvation army, telling us crazy shit like that john lennon had owned this coat we were checking out, and that he knew for a fact that lennon had been shot over a heroin deal. pretty amusing
 
i always get comments like "look at those skis! you could use them on the lake in the summer"
 
I've heard some pretty fucking crazy stoyreis in the 7 years i've worked at mountains. I thought you were talking about the elctriuc chair though
 
people always ask me how my skis handle on ice (108mm scott p4) /roll eyes/
or once i was in the lift with this huge gaper, he was like a giant, wore jeans and a tight jacket, race skis, too small goggles and an orange beanie that didn't go over his ears, we got talking about park skiing and stuff, he was claiming he could spin 1080 like the guys in the movies. i remain friendly and ask him if he wants to show me; he accepts (i was kinda amazed) so we ski over to the funpark; the guy straightlines all jumps, racking up massive speed for the last (and biggest) kicker, he sets his rotation super hard and spins more(!) than his 1080, overshoots landing by 5meter, lands on flat, double ejects, breaks his arm and just stays down, i feared for the worst and skied over him; he was ok, (besides the broken arm).I told him it was the most badass thing i've ever seen in my life!(i stayed with him till skipatrol took over)untill this day that was the most badass thing i've ever seen someone do on skis !
 
lots of shit... the most recent one was some dumb kid that told me masterminds were replacing afterbangs. I asked him what the flex was like then and he said "perfect"

super useful. He goes to my high school too
 
One time we were stopped on the lift and underneath us were these guys who could barely get down the hill, it had snowed like a foot the night before, anyway they both had Mantras with barons so one of them yelled to the other "just flip it into tele mode i think it makes it easier." so they both took off their skis and put them into touring mode. needless to say it was a pretty entertaining wait for the chair to start up again.
 
one time jumps in my mind. it was nasty weather, snowy, foggy, visibility almost zero. we close the bubble (we were like 13-14 or so) and these two adults are also there. i could only see the other guys eyes through his goggles so i dunno if they were as sketchy as they sounded.

but the other guy leans towards us and asks us if we got any dope. i mean, were two 13 yr olds (waaay before this freeski/hiphop/smoke is cool-thing), wtf????

he then proceeds how they smoked dope in the toilet of that apresski bar the night before and how they arent recommending it for us since it would take more than four-five blunts to feel "ballaballa"...

BOTTOM LINE: i just can add in charlie murphys words: HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS.

or as RICK JAMES would say: marijuana is NOT one hell of a drug.
 
A guy once told me and a friend that he had taken a pic of his friend wanking (with permission) and put it on someon else's computer as the desktop pic. Made for an awkward ride
 
i had this crazy black guy talkin about how the jimminy peak was "one of the big name mountains" and how the skiers at mt snow were quote: "peeeew peeeeeeew! peeeew peeeeew!" off the jumps
 
Not funny, but still it is. I sat next to some dudes in Are, Sweden and they were talking so much random bullshit and one of them just says "YOu know how asians say Rossignol?"

"Lossignol" No body laughed, when I met my friend later I laughed my ass of, embarassing.

Also some gypsys asked me if I wanted a smoke, they were like 6 and I sat in the middle all alone.. =(
 
i was on a chairlift with 2 eight year olds

apparently one of them had an older girlfriend that "made [him] touch her bad spot"

from the rest of the conversation i kind of figured it was a babysitter, wtf
 
This guy was about 30 something and he claimed he was sponsored for surfing and he rode like 30 foot waves all the time but he was in northeaster Pa why?????
 
this guy was just talking to himself and was "like you can snowboard, you can ski, but snowblading... that's just wrong on so many different levels." i laughed so hard.
 
Long story.

I just got yelled by some wanna be park crew, JJ, too old to ski, for saying "battleship its my favortie feature to hit" and he walks up really slow to me and says, "If you ever cuss again on this mountain, Ill cut your pass personally". So we had an argument and blah blah blah.

So I got on the lift with my buddy and were talking about how much bullshit it is and a guy interupts(He looks to be 70 and well shaved) and he says"you got in trouble for saying shit?! Thats fucked up!, and then he starts ranting and brings up a reel big fish concert at BSU for family night, hes like " the whole night they were being decent actually until the end, the lead singer gave us a warning "alright guys this songs gonna have an F word in it" so I attentively listened, The trumpets start playing and all of a sudden FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, Thats all he said"

Funny part was is that he acted like he was playing the guitar and trumpet and everything ohhh and yelled fuck the ski patrol at one of them below us
 
My friend and I were riding up the lift with a middle-aged guy and he asked us how old we were. We were 16 at the time and he said, "I have a daughter your age, and whenever she goes out on a date I tell the guy, I say 'anything you do to her, I do to you, got it?' " and then he just stares at us.
I asked him if she was hot and he got kinda pissed it was hilarious.
 
some old ass dude (at least 60) commented on my bud leaf bandana then starts rambling on about how back in the day he used to do a bunch of drugs and that in the 70s he ate so much acid he had to go to an insane asylum and shit he was crazy but he did smoke me on a j which was nice
 
When I was like 10 I was on the lift with a friend and theese older teenagers came on, they were "steezed out" and they were talking about sucking milk bags haha it was hilarious
 
some bros on the lift a few years ago were talking about snorting tang... like the drink mix. they even talked about how had scales and weighed it and shit haha
 
i smoke weed, you smoke weed, we all smoke weed. i get it.

but i was chilling on the little cloud lift at snowbird when I was just a dumb mountain pothead. I didn't bring weed up out west because I always broke the joint, or couldn't get things lit, or there were 45mph winds or chads gap was gettin blown up or SOMETHING.

Anyways, so Im just chilling and this old hippie on some salomon x-wing screamers just whips out a bowl and a bag of weed, and ski patrol is sitting on a rock in front of us about half way up little cloud, and hes just toking like it doesn't matter.

finally he asks me if i want a hit of DOPE. yes he said dope...and then he said lil dope never hurt anyone. then the guy goes on to say hes from happy canyon utah.....

meanwhile we are literally smoking weed above a red coat on a bluebird day. I was thinking in my head hahahahaha for once its not me feeling like I have something to hide.

THEN

how about this shit, i graduated in 2004 right? At snowbird later this year and shit...I fly down gadzoom, and its like 2pm on a powder day. So the day was pretty mandatory for everyone in SLC valley to be skiing...and I cut through the line kinda to get to a single spot I see. So I just bypass a big whomping pile of doubles and quads and shit waiting for a chair.

I get on the chair....

I normally don't bother to talk on the lift, but I had those Surface One Life's on (/claim) and they say thats some pretty wicked rocker on those skis. And Im like yeah, and they are like yeah where are you from. Im like grand haven, and they reply no fuckin way. Long story short here since this is becoming a michael crichton novel...

I went to school with 2 of the 3 kids on the lift since 7th grade, and had previously even sold drugs to.

Next thing I know Im sipping PBR and smokin it up with friends from high school at a hut at snowbird.

cool

story

hansel
 
up at okemo on a slushy park day last year i was alone on the lift with these 2 (45?) year old women and they were talking about how one of their daughters got like raped and how the boyfriend of one was a crack head goth who pulled a gun on the daughter....
anyway it was so fucking funny because they were talking all this shit about the boyfriend
 
i was on a ski lift with this gaper snowboarder and i was riding chronics at the time. he looks at my skis and says "chronics huh? can you like break a piece off at the top and smoke that shit?" haha wtf no.
 
On a lift at the Dew Tour at mt snow, convinced a family that shaun white switched to skiing, and his pro model burton skis were coming out for 1400 a piece, and each ski had a different pic of shaun, like little kid shaun, teenage shaun, skateboard shaun, etc
 
Funny shit people, i used to be afraid of heights, my first time on the slopes, and nice older gentleman told me that the chairs sometimes detached. I was scared for about 30 seconds, then i realized; riding down was worth the risk ;)
 
Opening day at abasin this year some dude tried spitting game at this chick and he goes damn girl let me take you out for a t bone steak. cuz i can tell youre a girl who likes her meat and can take a good bone... best opening line ever he then went on and ended up getting her to say yeah and off the lift he leans to me and says that is how its done i hope you took notes.. he then proceeded to fuck her during lunch in his car he told me later that day when i coincidentaly got on another lift with them
 
i rode with these two old guys, they were talking about how oatmeal is pretty much draino for your lower intestine

couldn't stop laughing
 
I was ten at the time so it was awhile ago. I was gapered out in my one piece and helmet that had flowers and smiles. I get on the lift with these older guys that start talking about how crazy sex he had with some girl the night before, It was very detailed and intense. I was ten, it tramatized me. And then two weeks ago at mt snow. a kid that could only be 11 at most asked me if I wanted to party with him, when I asked him how old he was he told me old enough. He then proceeded to tell his much older friend he was going to rape him in the butt.
 
i once was in the chairlift with an old guy riding ( dont remember the fucking name ) '' monoski '' . like 2 skibindings on a really large ski. the guy was really funny talking about all his stories and how it is different from riding normal skis
 
we got on the lift with these kids like 11 and 12 and we were talking about where we were going to smoke and shit and the kids followed us and proceded to beg for a hit...pretty trippy lol
 
"are you in high school or college?"

at the time i was in 6th grade, and about 4'11''

and this other time i got on the the lift with a bunch of kids, and the first thing they as me is "do you jack off"
 
A friend and I overheard two guys talking about the oldest women they have had sex with. These guys were probably 19 or so and the one dude was like the oldest I've slept with was about 30 and then his friend goes hah thats nothing, try like 55. Me and my friend got off the lift and stopped while the two other guys passed and we just started busting out laughing. I really dont care what she looks like, 55!?
 
well at my home resort bear creek every thursday the special olympics comes up. and the one time there was a retarded man who told us about all the cookie cutters that he had for every season. this same man would also yell at random girls thinking they where his friends but they where not. gotta love special thursdays.
 
Some guy was ranting to me about global warming and how scientists make it up then do something to warm the planet up.

And apparently I sat next to a pro fisherman once, it also just happened to be the longest, slowest, cross mountain chairlift at mountain creek.
 
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