Funniest thing your teacher's ever written on a chalk/white board

my business professor was telling us how easy it is to make a million in a year. He was saying how investing in something small like worms is a brilliant idea cause its easy to sell and doesnt cost much to buy. cause basically all you need is styrofoam cups for em.

ANYWAYS, he was like then you can just call them "masterbait" and wrote that on the board and everyone laughed. he had no clue why we were laughing though. which made it even funnier.
 
I had a teacher once write the the starting letter of the 3 main North American countries in order from North to South on the board without realizing what that acronym actually spelled.

C anada, U sa, M exico
 
haha

that reminds me

we were learning about mountain ranges in like fourth grade and one of them was the Pacific Mountain System and she wrote the acronym PMS on the board. Only a few kids and the teacher got it
 
One day somebody replaced all the smart board markers with sharpies, and one of our teachers grabbed the sharpie and drew all over it with it, without realizing what he was doing. It was epic, those smart boards are NOT cheap.
 
^ i had a COLLEGE teacher write all over the white board with neon pink highlighter, i thought it was odd when she took the marker out of her bag and started to write, but i decided to see how far she would go, she covered the whole board with highlighter, and then tried to erase it...thats when she discovered...it didnt come off. she promtly dismissed the class then.
 
speaking of funny names, i mow lawns at a cemetary during the summer and one of the graves says GOOCH and its a big ass monument. i thought that was so hilarious, until the day i decided to go up and read the grave, the guys name was harry gooch, i almost pissed myself
 
my pysch teacher the first day of class wrote every bad term for anybody on the board. Like for example, niggger, cracker fag homo guido etc. It was a lesson, which made a lot of sense though
 
Today in physics, our teacher wrote "skeet it" on the board, because he didn't know what it meant. It was pretty funny..
 
my global teacher wrote a list of things you could sodomize someone with when we were talking about rights...
 
we used to write things behind the screen and when they drew it up everyone saw it, but this year instead of say organism my teacher said orgasm
 
my bio teacher is from india so we always try to get her to say peanuts because with her accent it will sound like penis. she is also one of the funniest ladies i know.
 
In Class today we were working on "tank" problems like related rates and differential equations shit and my teacher (who is fucking hot) kept saying taint instead of tank.

"You would need a larger taint" etc

I think me and my buddy were the only ones who found it funny... I am 21... dammit.
 
haha today in my anthropology class we were talking about "homo erectus" and my professor slipped up and said "homo erection"!! it was soo funny, but i didnt want to laugh because there are like 159 people in the class and it much have been so embarassing!!
 
i was in buisness and someone was talking about hwo they hate to be called andy, so another kid was like fine then ill call you jack. the teacher was like what, is his last name off. he then went on to explain how teachers have a sense of humor too. yeah, hes like 45
 
in my school we have a kid named chase aho, and his mom is mary aho. and at this one college graduation, the person reading the names was taking cards from the students with their names on them, and some kid changed hid to hugh g. rection. and the guy read it.
 
well alot of my teachers do funny shit but it usually isnt written on the board.

in 7th grade, my english teacher taped a blank piece of paper on the board with an arrow to it saying "dont look." of course everyone looked and there was nothing under it.

my global teacher always has random shit written on the board that students do. one say some annoying chick wrote mr trombley is a meanny. so he goes and writes ali smaok is a keebler elf.

then my spanish teacher said something to me that was pretty funny. i was kinda sick so my voice was a little deeper than ususal and i answered a question and she asks "are you sick or are you just finally hitting puberty?"

then my english class is just amazing. 2 days ago we walk in and my teacher is like ok take out a piece of paper, its time for out mid-term! everyone was like whattt you never told us about this. then hes sitting at his chair playing with a coke bottle and hes like "im not holding this just because i drank it, its becasue if anyone shouts out an answer, i will throw this at your head. ok question 1, a farmer has 17 sheep, all but 9 die. how many are left?" some kid shouts out 9 and needless to say he got a coke bottle square in the forehead. "ok next question. why cant a man living in Missouri be burried west of the missisippi? the rest of the questions were dumb ones like that, and 6 kids got hit in hte head with a coke bottle.
 
haha this thread is great, we photocopied someone givin the finger once and then made it into an overhead put taht shit up haha.

Then in this one classroom theres whiteboards all the way aronud the room, and some kid drew a dick allll the way around the room. So the teacher comes in and looks at one wall and is like wtf, then spins in a 360 and finally realizes what it is hahaha funniest shit to watch.
 
my global studies teacher was talking about how when muslims kill themselves when fighting infidels, they are awarded 20 virgins in the afterlife. but then he said "they must run out of virgins sometime, so they probably just use south asian hookers." kinda funny. this teacher is like 60 and ready to retire.
 
I was at school in french. One teacher in elementary school used to write the names of kids on the board who came in late after recess, under the heading "Retards" (lates). Funny when later in the day our english teacher came in and was like wtf?
 


Ok, heres one from this week. I'm taking a class about Native American Music and Dance (Yeah, I know, but I needed 3 VLPA and its the only thing that fit around my Biochem and Physiology classes... anyways).

Our teacher is this huge old guy who talks like Marlon Brando. He goes off on these huge tangents sometimes about songs and universal harmony and such, even trying to tie them into string theory and such... anyways, I copied one of his slides on my notes because it was so rediculous.

"A joint conjugal orgasm is one of the most powerful and beautiful ways we experience the song of the universe."

and later:

"It [being in harmony with universe/song] is like having an orgasm with the entire universe."

Also, he explained to us that same day that the Navajo people regard the Grand Canyon in Arizona as the "Vagina of the Earth". This guy makes quantum physics look like Easy Mac instructions, he is soooo out there.

 
k so we had to do these team things and we were like the SHOCKERS!!! and all held up our hands in the position and our teacher goes if something is bad about that im gonna get mad! and she said she looked it up the next day on the interentet and she flipped at us haha
 
BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA. that made me laugh cause grim job sounds like rim job. I was trying to figure out how you were making it into a joke then i realized you werent
 
once we had to email our teacher something and i titled mine "i got grapes" and he, who didnt know what that meant, said "you have grapes john?" sarcastically. fucking epic
 
this isn't on the chalkboard but yesterday in class we were reading call of the wild and two of the dogs in it are named skeet and nig and when the teacher said that i couldn't help myself from cracking up, the best part is Nig was a black dog
 
last year we had presentations for a business class. well one group got halfway through their powerpoint to find out that somebody had gone onto their file and written Floppy Donkey Dick in big bold letters. hilarious
 
i have two, once in physics the teacher was writing down a problem and it went something like this, the weightlifter jerked his load with 100kg of force

another one was NO HEAD in class, meaning headphones
 
even funnier cemetery name. Abagail Allcock, she died in the 1790s i even told some kid she died becasue i fucked her up the ass, than i realized she died at 18 months.
 
we were studying sperm at crime scences in forensics. she explained what a christmas tree stain was. since we couldnt get in trouble for saying it, it was collectively yelled when someone passed the room. she wrote christmas tree stain on the board.

i drew a christmas tree with a semen tail under it. then me and dan drew a kitty semen, barney rubble semen, dan semen, pirate semen, and frenchman semen. bascilly just heads with semen tails. no trouble, since it was what we were studying.
 
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