Funniest Thing At the Park

snowblader, calls "drop in, is it clear is it clear??" blades up to a 15 foot table, catches his edge on the jump yells "OH FUCK' falls straight on his head, gets up and blades off

what's up now bitch

"i see you have gotten the most recent pic of atlantaski and i must say he is looking pretty dark for a wigger"- Lats reply to a picture of a piece of shit in a toilet

ACLs suck
 
First run of the day, two seasons ago. I am speed checking lips in a very icy park. Catch a fucking edge, and right in front of everyone I fall on my face. like, right on my face and shoulder. I couldn't decide whether I shoudl be in pain, laughing, or embarrassed.

Another day, We are all lined up at the top of the park for a box. Some kid goes up, tries to slide it and slides out right onto his ass, like sitting on the side of it. He slides on his ass for about 10 feet and then comes switch off. Everyone at the top of the inrun is yelling shit at him like "OH SHIT!!! STEEZ!!!" as he grabs his ass and skis away. We don't see him the rest of the day.

Last season we were on the chair, and these 2 boarders and 2 skiers are making a chain. They ride up to a 40+ foot stepdown, and hit it one after the other. All of them overclear it to the flat, which is like 20 feet below the lip, and all of them land sideways, which adds to the humor as the first guy faceplants, the second guy faceplants and slides face first into the board of the other guy, and the two skiers almost land on the two snowboarders, with skis flying and smacking them all as they tumble in one big foresome down the hill.

 
this past season my buddies and i were doing the usual, of sessioning our rail park and some chick that was decent at riding park on her board was trying a 12ft down rail and she has pretty good speed going at it, but i guess she didnt realize that you have to pop onto the rail since the rail was exposed out of the snow and there was no lip to put u onto the rail 50-50 and she completely cart wheeled the rail. I laughed my ass off then ran to her pretty ass side. she was alright, just shooken up a bit but her board was demolished and the nose tip was split right down the middle a good 6inches, wicked tear.



//STEEZ//

`````~_`FuC*KinG BRiLLiAnT`_~`````

______________noR*Cal______________

--Hard work pays off over time, laziness pays off now--

~DeMoTiVaToRs
 
First run of the day, two seasons ago. I am speed checking lips in a very icy park. Catch a fucking edge, and right in front of everyone I fall on my face. like, right on my face and shoulder. I couldn't decide whether I shoudl be in pain, laughing, or embarrassed.

Another day, We are all lined up at the top of the park for a box. Some kid goes up, tries to slide it and slides out right onto his ass, like sitting on the side of it. He slides on his ass for about 10 feet and then comes switch off. Everyone at the top of the inrun is yelling shit at him like "OH SHIT!!! STEEZ!!!" as he grabs his ass and skis away. We don't see him the rest of the day.

Last season we were on the chair, and these 2 boarders and 2 skiers are making a chain. They ride up to a 40+ foot stepdown, and hit it one after the other. All of them overclear it to the flat, which is like 20 feet below the lip, and all of them land sideways, which adds to the humor as the first guy faceplants, the second guy faceplants and slides face first into the board of the other guy, and the two skiers almost land on the two snowboarders, with skis flying and smacking them all as they tumble in one big foresome down the hill.

 
i was coaching at nstar and cut in front of this rat pack of gansta skier/boarders who had all the geaR but none of the skill...i was enetering nstars jib line...spun clean 270 onto the first c-boc but landed awkward, tried carrying it to the next c-boc but lost it tring to spin onto it, slapped out and hurt my neck...later on i learned i broke my c5...right under the lift on the easiest feature in the park

 
i was hitting this wall ride pretty good all day. so i hit it stall the top and come of switch. when i land i see this fly honey comin down. so im checkin her out not lookin where im goin and run into the pipes for the snow guns. so the girl skis by and laughs at me. i called her a bitch

NO
IT'S
NOT
WHAT
YOU
THINK.
IT'S
MUCH
WORSE.

SUPPORT
SOUTHERN
ROCK
 
the t-bar that you campers might know in whistler, some boarder rode 3/4 of it on his belly, still hanging on after his fall

Gravity sucks

'Weighing in at only 125 lbs, I could easily bench double my weight as a senior in H.S.; maxing out at an outstanding 245 lbs. I still had the build of a small person.' - d-loc

"I only drink on 2 occasions. When I'm thirsty, and when I'm not."
 
haha .that happend to me. i was watching this kid go off a jump..and i was going a little to fast. only thing is.........i actaually got knocked out, broke all my ribs on the right side and was in the hospital for 2 weeks..just for catching an edge

ya make fun of me all you want. i think its funny.

***-Soul Sisterhood-***

 
A couple years ago i had just learned lincoln loops and was doing them on almost all of the jumps at our hill, so i was heading up to a 15 or 20 fotter and some guy climbed up the ramp right in front of me. instead of stopping i decided he would probably be off by the time i got there, but he wasnt so i ended up doing a lincoln about 1 foot to the side of this guy who was standing on the deck...i landed and never turned around

___________________

eh voila
 
A kid was doing strait in to the jump at full speed. When he saw that his going to completely clear the jump, all you can hear is aaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

T
he US shits 5 million dollars every day that is nothing thats not enough money to do jack shit. The US alone spends about 5 BILLION each year in foerign aide -dArKfranchise

If you are offended by this post, E-mail me at:

tell_it _to _the_hand_because_I_dont_care@hotmail.com

*Member of the Underground Army*

 
One of my friends jumped over a kid do ing a 50 foot gap!

That was funny!

Live Large Move West

http://www.freewebs.com/tricksonsti
cksproductions/

cksproductions/

SKI ATTITASH
 
My kid was sessioning a pipe and an oblivious dad with his kid on a tether decides to go right down the middle. Timing is every thing.. My kid lands his 5 right into the center of the tether. Big tangled mess, to make matters worse the ignorant dad goes to the patrol and tries to make a scene about my son not being in control. Their point is that you are supposed to be in control of what is front of you and that the kid on the tether had all the same rights to be in the pipe.

Not funny....... So if you are ever in the east and you see some loud mouthed dad (me) screaming at you to stay out of the pipe until I say "clear" - you'll understand..

Sign in @ www.paskiandride.com for info on PA Skiing.
 
alright so im cruisin into the bottom table carving hard from right to left and i see a dude chillin on the knoll of the table on the far left side, i ye'll profusely for him to move or im going to hit him, i take off start spinning five and notice buddy has decided it would be smart to move right under where im gonna land, as you probably guess i land directly on his shoulders switch, he kinda collapses as i land on him and i ride out still yelling at him about how he nearly killed himself and he should quit skiing. Im pretty damn surprised i didnt break one clavicle or both of them. just a little lesson for everyone, i will hit you if you dont move out of the way so dont come into the park if your not comfortable with that

 
about your its not funny getting hurt bullshit, you have to understand these gapers are inflicting the pain on themselves due to their ignorance of physics and common park riding rules, i mean fawk if you dont start in the right place to clear the jumps and expect not to get hurt then god damn your stupid and you deserve to get hurt so you learn you need to start in the right place and obey simple rules

 
There was a gap onto a easy box in the Blackcomb public park...watched some kid snowplow over the takeoff and fall headfirst between the takeoff and the box...his dad had to pop him out of his bindings and lift him out.

The will to do. The soul to dare.
 
Hey man, I can understand somepeople are morons in the park, and a lot of them are just asking to get hurt. But what about people like the kid who broke his femur falling off of the lift. Like the other dude said, an injury like that can kill you... thats not funny. And the boarder who over-rotated on his backflip and landed on his head, he could've died or be crippled for life. At my mountain i saw a boarder land on a rail on his back... now he can't walk... hahahahahaha i'm laughing my ass off.

Should they be laughed at because they didn't land their trick right? Maybe you won't land right and totally eat shit and people can laugh at you too.

______________________________________

Ma
king skiing preppy again since 1999.

-check it out-

http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=20416941

Just sign up for a credit card and if you don't wanna deal with it, destroy it when you get it. You won't have to spend a penny.
 
I was in the air on the second jump and I look down and see something that looks like money, I land and stop immediatly, I look up to make sure no ones comming down, I run over and hoping that Im gonna find 100 bucks or something, it was 5 dollars, still cool, I got to have a super sweet lunch.

This isn't really funny, I at the park at mt. ellen theres the big buliding where the chair lift thing goes around. The line is right under the end of the roof. It was getting warmer and snow was melting, so a huge sheet of ice/snows falls on this kid in line and breaks his leg. Also in that same weekend (I think), a kid is in the half pipe and hits the deck really really bad and is air lifted away.

----------------------------------

"I wish I could speak Italish"

 
i got SO excited about our ten day holiday in snow park, which is like 10 hours drive (11-12 actually) so we finally get there and I'm warming up on some mellow ski field, and its icy as, so im bored and see how fast I can go just sliding sideways on the ice (cant have helped the conditions but meh) so basically the flatter I lay my skis the faster I go, cause then my back edge isnt catching, so i put them flatter and flatter, then im going seriously fast, catch the front edge WHAM broken clavicle, no skiing for 6 weeks.

If I had more energy, I'd burn that young mans face
 
hahahahahahaha nice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, Lil' John.. Do you wanna go freeskiing?

O-KAAY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cininnati Newschoolers,

good times.
 
Some asian dude on blades who was wearing jeans and a hoodie on a cold day, was coming to hit a big 45 foot table. He was going a little too slow, and I dont think he knew how big the table was... anyways he goes off the jump, starts flailin like a bird, land short 10 feet on his back. HAHA

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- Simon

Real East Coast Skier
 
This could be the best if you can visualize. Long story short: 5 little kids on snowblades, maybe 9 or 10 years old in the park. They go off the lip of the 30 ft table and just drop down like the guy before me was saying. Well, they decide to go one right after the other. One time, the first kid stops right on the lip of the jump in a pizza. The next couple of kids, right behind him, plow into him and knock him off the lip. He falls down the side and lays there whining, but not crying. The kids who hit him come skiing down as fast as they can. BUt, they cant stop because they are horrible and skis into him laying on the ground. The kid got hit like 5 times in about 15 seconds by his buddies. It was amazing

I dream of winter.
 
me and my friends were bilding this nice jump off like on the side of the hill. well skipatrole started yelling at us for doing it and telling us it was to danguros or somthiny. well he tells us to tar it down and he gos to ski off well about 5 feet away frome us he hits this whole in the ground and eats it and we started making fun of him and he tride to kick us out but we just skied away it was really funny

 
I used to ski at Hunter Mountain which is the "people who suck ass capitol of the world" so we and my buddies are skiing and since the mountains pretty flat u have straighline from pretty far up just to hit a 20 ft. So i stop at the mid point of the half pipe deck while my buds go down to clear out the regular inrun where u have no chance of making it. So they wave me on and I start to go. When i reach the little hill where everyone chills and tries to clear the two jumps, there's this snowboarder who is going for the smaller jump on the left for pussys. I decide that I shouldnt stop for this asshole since my buds told him to get out the way, so I go for a suicide mission. I just go right at him and collide head on. I was like 12 at the time and 70 lbs and this guy's like 18 and 180 lbs. Since I hit him from behind he gets worked and I just take a little fall which I hardly notice. So this guys pissed and we start screaming. I start asking the crowd who just witnessed this wheather or not my buds told his ass to move. My buds say ya, but the rest of the crowd, pussy adult gapers, just mumble a quiet yes trying to be on the deuche bags side. So I ask the guy why he didn't listen "I was listening to loud music". Then this little 7 yr old kid who hangs with us, since our freestyle people are tight, says "mayb you shouldn't listen to music since you suck" and the whole crowd knows the kids right but is afraid the asshole will beat him up so like 8 people say shutup kid we kow ur right but who cares. so this sparks an all out warand the rest of the day it was my cool crew vs his deuschy duo... all in all the whole time the fight was happening I was trying not to laugh and act all serious

 
this is a shorter story about hunter mountain... so this really hot snowboarder chick goes for a boardslide on this really wide c box but she doesn't pop and her board gets caught underneat the rail. From there her whole face hits really hard on the box and rebounds like a bouncy ball... it was hilarious i couldnt ski for five minutes because i was laughing so hard that my stomach hurt

you are one giant piece of internet suck- ...focus....
 
by the way she got up fine..a lot of funny shit happens at hunter because of all the sucky people. Ifyou just feel like yelling at someone, getting into a fight with Mexicans or people that wear foot ball jerseys and jeans, or you just want to laugh really hard go to hunter, just know that the skiing sucks, just like the joeys

you are one giant piece of internet suck- ...focus....
 
ha i thought of another, we were at whiteface at the pipe with a ton of snowboards and my friend calls "DROPPING" and starts go and pulls all of his pants down and was mooning the boards, and does the pipe

WWW.ECHEADWEAR.COM

you know u need a pimp hat(messed up in mozilla idk y?)

-PM for a crochet cult

-PM for the best hats on the block ;0
 
you are a fucking hoot!!!! if you had actually done that instead of making shit up online, you would be the worlds biggest asshole, go practice giving blowjobs to a twinkie.

--------------------------------

Check out my season: www.newschoolers.com/PHP/Videos/LoadVideo
.php4?vid_id=21492

www.Freeheellife.com
 
i had a similar encounter at June. some ski instructor was taking his group of kids through the park, and there was a group of them standing on the landing of the last jump, and i seriously almost killed one of them. dude comes up to me, takes his skis off and tries to fight me. i just told him that if he didn't want his class to see their teacher get the shit beat out of him, he'd better get the fuck out of my face. not another word after that.

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later."

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
 
^ Haha, stupid bitches, they tried to kick my ass out of the mount cause i hoped onto the loading area for the chair when there was a big ass line. i got yelled at by every single person working there while i was laughing my ass off.

Virginia riding since a long ass time ago. Got the real east coast crud out here.
 
maybe four years ago at Tremblant they had a sick step down close to maybe 60 ft. At the time it was the biggest jump i had ever encounterd (i was 11ish) and was like shit dude thats big....well my bro and me and a friend end up hitting it..straight airing and shit....well we head back up tehre and there are three chinease chicks maybe 15 through 17 in age and are wondering if they should hit it. So the first one goes down and stands necxt to the jump and waves her friend on...her friend goes and we thought she was just gonna chill next to the jump to...so the second one is whippin into the jump and we are like umm are planning on hitting this and when she dosnt turn before the lip of the jump we start screaming casue she is going fast enough to get some serious air but slow enough to not make landing and even if she did dhw woulda of dies....well in summary she heard us stopped right at the top of the jump...flipped over the lip...a good 8 ft...

we almost pissed ourselves laughing and it became the highlight of my trip

i like skiing

 
One time a snowboarder hit a jump right before me, I landed right ontop of him. That was funny.

_________________

Midwest Represent
 
i was in åre, learning 360s, and i had just gotten my first one (see profile), and i walked back up the slope to do it again. im not jumping a regular jump, im jumping from the side of a boardercross bump that you can only go on from the pro park, and rarely anyone goes over it anyways. to be sure, there are some guys down there telling me if i can go. so i head down with an all clear, and there's a kid that comes into my field of vision to my right, and it's like a perfect collsion course. but since i had already walked up the hill, i didn't want to waste it, and i accelerate as much as i could. so i go down, he's still coming, oblivious to my friends telling him to look out, i do my 360, i land and ski right into him... he's knocked off the other side of the roller into some powder, and i stop on the top of the deck. he was fine, but his expression was hilarious, like what the heck just happended. we helped him up and showed him the tape it was pretty funny.

______________________________________

Patty "typos are an artform" W.

*NS Skateboarders* Vas y il l'a cassé!

Honestly, who throws a shoe?

 
I took my dog skiing with me a couple times (it almost got me fired). Anyway, one morning I decided to take a cruiser down the middle of the pipe, just to check it out...my dog lost sight of me and ended up running along the deck of the pipe...I guess he didn't see the edge and went running full tilt off the top of the pipe (14 foot pipe), basically pulled a superman, and faceplanted in the bottom of the pipe, and slide on his face for about 15 feet....I felt so bad for my dog, but he got up right away and kept on going. On top of all this, I had skied over his foot before his superman attempt and sliced his paw with my ski...my dog ended up with 3 stitches...

The will to do. The soul to dare.
 
haha, i could amagine something like that happening at squaw. i get so pissed when all the tourists go into the park and just park themselves in the landings. what did the snowboarder do?

a good friend is the guy who bails you out of jail...
a best friend is the guy on your right saying, 'damn that was fun'
 
Once i saw this guy in an old school one piece and long skinny race skis go off a 30 footer and do a huge spead eagle. then he started leaning back and he was like "UH oh" and he overshot the landing and landed on his ass. it was hilarious

....
 
I have two wicked crazy and funny stories

first: Okay i was waiting in line at sunday river in the singles line and hopped on with some really stange dude. When we were about half way up barker, he looks at me and says " hey i noticed you have them twin tip skis" i could tell at this moment the guy must have been like 50 years old. He had the most oldschool out fit on, scarf, no helm, neon yellow jacket, so fricken funny looking. when we got off the lift he said " have a nice day". I happened to see him ski off and he was sooo bad, not too bad but ya know what i mean. Well i get to rocking chair and he shows up! I was like hey and he goes " i use to do these bad boys back in the day, i see you fellows doing those spins and twists." He looks around, no ones going, gets into position and tucks for the first jump. Im just laughing already. When he gets to the lip of the jump he fricken throws his body! He does like a corked 5 and stays off axis as he disapeers over the noel of the landing. I was crying, laughing my ass off but at the same time scared for him. I saw faces on the chair above turned and looking. We all go down to seeif the guys ok and he wasnt even fricken there! hahahahaha last time a saw the man.

Second: Ok i was in rocking chair again and this wicked g-star pulls along side of me. Headphones blasting some kind of rap, he gives an intense stare towards the jumps looks at me, my skiis, then hits the firts rail. he Switch ons it.........I hook it up with a unnatty 270 out. Gives me a gangster stare and the again, looks at my skis. He then proceeds to the air hill start. Gives me a stare then 180s into switch and starts moving to the jump. As he aproaches the lip he hucks a beastly spin. I dont even know what it was but it was steezy. as he is completely inverted and looking staight at me he yells " oh shiat!" he stays in a inverted position, arms going crazy. He goes head firts over the noel of the landing. I was in shock, laughing but scared. This guy could of just died! A ski partol who was going up the barker chair is like " woah god" and he fricken jumps off the chair!!!! LMAO! he lands hard, this isnt a leap in the park to the ground. He hits the ground then immidiately goes to the landing. Craziest thing ive seen.

- I had a Dream....

I was on a rail that never ended and i have PERFECT balance-
 
alright ive goy u all on this one, so we were at white face and this chinese dude who had probably been skiing for like 30 inutes decided to drop into the park, now you all know those chinese dudes who keep there arms out like they have poles inthem but they reall dont and they have these ski that are just bigger than snowblades, this guy was a perfect example of that. So anyway he bombs the hill heading straight toward the jump goig about 50 and flies of this 40 footer, he stayed in the position the whole time but he kinda got corkedsince he was going so high and so fast, he overshot the landing by about 30 feet and landed right on his ass and then slid for about 50 more feet, i thought this dude was toast but we went to see if we could take him down to ski patrol but he got up and was like " I ok, I ok thank you vewy vawy much goodbye" and then he left and we laughed for about 5 hours

--------------

www.d-structure.com
 
Once when I was in line for a beginner lift, I tried to act all hot shit, so I reached down with both hands to grab each of my tips. I leaned a little to far over my bindings and got ejected onto my face.

Everyone in the lift just kind of looked at me like I was stupid.

http://www.myspace.com/flashfiction
 
funniest thing I have ever seen was at Sunday River. Some old guy, probably over 60, is riding the huge as old school Olin skis. THey hadda be over 200. Anyways, this dude cuts me in line for a pretty big table. Everyone starts laughing as he hauls ass to the jump. He proceeds to huck an insane 720 Tailgrab. I almost shit myself.

-Tom

Mass Fuggas fo' life.
 
^ hahahaha i love those kind of people

- I had a Dream....

I was on a rail that never ended and i have PERFECT balance-
 
2 stories

Were all at the top of teh pipe talking and some 5 year old girl is over to the trail next to the pipe... she was in a plow for most of the run then went into "french fries" the girl then looked back and yelled to her mom she was in french fries while she was yelling she started drifting towards the pipe and launched into it liek it was a cliff... funniest thing ever

some kid was like laying on his tails (out of control) and goin down the park.. he hits the smallest jump in teh park goin like mach 3 and clears the landing by like 20 feet he then proceeds to ragdoll and lose everything

neither of these kids got really hurt

"i think we should all turn our air conditioners on in order to create a global cooling" -some guy on NS... i froget his name
 
I was at okemo and on the lift infront of me there is a man in one of those skichairs for poeple in whhelchairs and 2 beginers boarding a lift. The begeiner on the far right falls down when getting on the lift which inturn knocks over the other beginer who then falls on the disabled skier knockin gover his ski chair thing. i almost cried laughfing

 
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