Funniest Thing At the Park

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VirginiaCliff

Member
Lets hear some good stories of fuck ups and such at ur local drop. Ill start this mess off, i was waiting in line to hit a table when this 8 year old comes by in a fucked up tuck, head straight for the table, do a pizza wedge thing, fall and break his arm right on the take off. The funniest thing i ahve ever seen, blocked the jump for like an hour while the paramedics popped out and helped him.

Now lets hear yours

_____________________

Virginia riding since a long ass time ago. Got the real east coast crud out here.
 
lil girl on the landing, unaware snowboarder, lets just say there was one angry mother and a lot of tears

Poor Milk Productions
 
some kid was with his dad on the lift, right above some big rocks

the kid fell off and broke his femur, luckily right after he fell the lift broke down, and the kid was stuck there for an hour

Yea. I said it.

____________________________________

-STEVE STEPP

 
days when the park is "more dangerous than the gaza strip" .. people bombing every where at the same time.. kids died, seriously

So long fried rice, hello fried chicken!

 
non of this stuff is that funny. i see a little kid do something stupid everytime i ski.

"i'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail"

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"Fuck you my car doesn't even run on gas, it runs on baby seals", Ice-Is-Scary, on the subject of global warming, weather cycles, redneck gas-guzzling trucks, and hippies.
 
i had a skunk come after me on a t-bar once, that was pretty funny, the lift stopped too. i had to get off of it. damn t-bars always derailing

DHHC
 
there was a big ski race at my mouatin for like 10-11 year old and it was the best of the best in the east and thier practice cource was in the terrian park we were like wtf

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some guy and his kids cut off my buddy and was running his mouth, I came over and told him to get his kids out the park and to go learn how to ski before he tried to teach his son how, he then said in his backwards one size fits all UCLA hat while standing in pizza form, that he would "terrorize me anywhere on the mountain" i told him to watch his mouth before he got the shit kicked out of him in front of his wife and kids.

 
Probobly when one of our neigbors ran over that squirrel cutting off its tail. Man I've never seen a sucker run soo fucking fast before.

----RIP Signature------
 
^thats not funny, but good come back.

but there have seriously been 8-10 snowboarders fall, all in one train....almost like watching that car chase in blues brothers 2000 when like 40 cars crash.

Poor Milk Productions
 
I was second in line before the lift, and the first kids stepped up and I secrectly put their safety bar down without them seeing, so they all go to sit down on the chair and hit the bar and fall forward! HILL-ARIOUS!

*Something Meaningful*

*Sorry For My Actions In Advance*
 
A girl was changing her kotex on the landing of a fat jump and this snowboarder landed on her. I think he broke her arm and like 3 of her ribs. It was so funny though cuz the snowboarder had blood from the girls kotex on his face. Uhhh, gross!(true story)

 
the funniest thing i can remember is this old telemark dude trying to teach his kids how to do a rail. he would like stand sideways at the top of the lip and just step onto the rail, so it was fucking the lip up hardcore. he never waited his urn either. his jids were cool and they were actually trying the rail the right way and they kept telling him that he was messing the lip up. not that funny unless you were there i guess.

"i'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail"

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"the clit commander makes its triumphant return!"-strode420

"Fuck you my car doesn't even run on gas, it runs on baby seals", Ice-Is-Scary, on the subject of global warming, weather cycles, redneck gas-guzzling trucks, and hippies.
 
what girl does that in the park? I haven't ever seen anything like that? What mountain was this????

"and then I found 5 bucks and got an HJ"
 
chillin at Keystone with Ben and we all know how big of a gaper trap the snowball was. so some kids goes across the landing of the jump above it and ben finishs rotating his 540 lands switch at like 20 miles an hour and takes this mother fucka out. hes like 16 and he almost starts crying and we are all just yelling at him and giving all this shit and daaaamn i just love yelling at gapers no mater how much pain they are in

-Killa Cam
 
seen a guy fall of a t-bar, couldnt get up in time and the next t-bar collected him and started draggin his ass up the hill. He got untangled, still in the tracks, couldnt get upand away in time .. again and the next tbar (which was empty) came and caught him by the tails and started dragging him up the hill backwards face down

Lateralis -

is "cotton field gorilla" a racial slur?

 
one time i dropped the lightsaber on the lift

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU MY FELLOW NEWSCHOOLERS

lord of the rings rules!!!!!!

im baack

 
haha, at cataloochee in north carolina, they have a really small park with like a 10-15 ft jump.

I see this little kid in a pizza, and his dad has one of those ski leash things and the kid is skiing between the parent's legs. So they go up to the jump, both in a pizza, and the little kid can't get up the lip all the way, and neither can the dad, so he picks up his kid and waddles up the entire lip of the jump. Wow, I was upset at how he screwed the jump over, but damn it was funny.

i cant take him[liam downey] seriously cuz his name reminds me of that downy bear from back when i was a kid -d loc

I don't deny there are bad things in the US right now, hell, 51% of the country to be exact. But god damnit, our country being fat is NOT a problem. I do't give a shit how fat people are. hell, fat kids are harder to kidnap, that means our country is safer.

-Melvs
 
I laned switch off this jump and never even saw this snowblader behind me. I ran into him full speed and he flew like 10 feet. I had ski patrol flipping out at me. BUt its his fault for standing on the landing

 
Something that wants funny but realtes to all this...

I'm standing in the park with like 15 people and this little kids goes up to the table top. Only hes scared to do it, so he slows down and makes it halfway up the lip. So he CLIMBS up, sliiping and sliding until he gets to the top and skis down the landing 3 minutes later. Then his sister does the exact smae thing. AUUG!

Life's a b!tch and then you die
 
some haggard ass in the way of the qp and i come down yelling at him and he was like im gonna kick the shit out of u and he was clearly over 18 and im 14 so i was like i dare u to hit me and kept cocking off to him

Hate all you want, bitches. Most of you will never know what it's like being 6 and a half feet tall with a 2 foot long penis.

-LDowney

 
my friend went off a jump and his ski fell on the landing, as i went to go get it for him, a snowboarder went off the jump(to show off in fromt of us maybe?) and landed and tripped on the ski and wiped out hard. his like nose and mouth were bleeding. we were like "are you okay man?" and he was just like "yea" and boarded away. we never saw him after that

Anyway, a gas station we pass. We got gas, and ran off to get grub.It was a nice little pub in the middle on nowhere. Anywhere woulda been better. I ordered enchiladas and I ate 'em, Ali had the fruit punch.

 
a train of little gaper kids all training into the XL jump....haha they didnt realize that after the lip there was a 7 foot drop to flat table top. oh man they just crumpled one on top of the next one funniest thing ever.

 
i saw this pregnant chick hit a jump and when she was in the air she had the baby and the baby popped out and did an unnatty 5

 
One time there was a kid just in tightey whiteys goin down through the park and pullin 5s and what not. Then he tried a rail, and fell.

A good pickup line is

Do you eat a lot of lucky charms, cause you taste magically delicous.

 
ok, so i was at a local ski area for ski team (i wasnt racing) and me and my friends were just screwing around. and we went to the terrain park with like 3 jumps a hot box and a rail (a little small?). so i had my helmet on and my other two friends didnt and it was Matt's first time doing a rail, so he goes of the jump and leaned forward way too much and lands stomache down on the rail while his face slams into the ground. it was the funniest thing ever

shit happens when you party naked
 
^These stories are alll sooo fucking funny! haha. alright there was this girl i know snowboarding in our park and she wanted to hit this medium jump but decided not to and i was like "comon u big chicken" and she was like no I wont make it. so after like 10 min of argueing she finally decides to hit it. i was like "DO NOT GO TOO SLOW" so she bombs from the top of the park goes back seat right off the jump and breaks her tail bone" she was crying and ski patrol was asking her why she was hitting this shit. and i just couldnt stop giggling.... i felt pretty bad, SHE never seemed hot to me after that either... even though she is.

hate it or love... little John's on top...
 
O i got another one also, I was trying sw rodeos for the first time two years ago and i finally got the balls up to try it. and I never hit any jump in my park but the big one to make myself seem unpussy. so i come off the lip and seem to be rotating fine then freak out because i spot the landing like 3 feet off the ground. my pole plants into the ground and my face into my pole handle and like an upper cut to the face my entire body arks. I get up and my face is numb and people are running at me and I spit, then look down and my white jacket is covered in blood. I had to get stiches in my mouth and couldnt talk normal or laugh in shit for like a week. it was haggard

hate it or love... little John's on top...
 
o and one last one... this ones good i think.... so we go to watervile valley and im used to a shitty one hit park but this parks got 3 hits in a row. I'm hucking my shit 3 run of the day (2 years ago by the way) mid day. I decide I want to float an even bigger flatspin over the last 50 ft table so I bomb the whole park and do flatspin 630 to flats after the landing. After waking up the ski patrol deemed me "well enough to ski" Now i dont remember the rest but apparently i sat on a bench at the top of the park for 45 minutes staring into at nothing until my friends could find me, then started walking down the street to the car... even though I had no idea where my friend had parked the car....

hate it or love... little John's on top...
 
I was throwing a seven off a ten foot jump when my skis popped off in mid spin, my boots dug into the ground and I faceplanted hard

I also made our sixty foot big air a hip jump and 180'd it and landed switch and skied to my friend who was waiting. A ski patroller came up to me and was like, "you better watch out when you ski backwards like that." Then he proceeds to tell me, "Nice jump though." What the hell???

 
i hit a small jump and this chinese asian chick snowboarder was sitting right on the landing and i was about 3/.4ths through my 360 and slammed into her back full speed sideways, flipped over her and broke my rib. not funny as it was painful. the ironic thing was that she got up and started yelling at me for laying under the landing where she was getting ready to board. stupid bitch

i just realized this...pussyfooter has 2 names, one with 5 thousand posts and one with 2 thousand. that's a fucking ton.

-ElGato

 
some racers are practicing skiing on one ski i chuck a snow ball at one of them hit's him in the face he goes in the woods and eats it hahahaha "fucker"

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crazy minority's

 
my friend plowing into the take off of a jump after landing a 5 mute then skiing to the next bigger jump and his brake caught in the insanely deep slush and slid all the way up the take off and said fuck like a million times while the park lady said Are you okay? like a million times.

-TacO

Ski Rossignol
 
Hey guys, idk about you, but i don't find any of those injury stories very funny. Coming from a guy whose had a broken leg, broken colar bone, and torn ligaments in his hand and wrist, i can tell you that injuries are in no way funny. Nothing is worse than sitting in pain on the mountain and all you can think about is not being able to walk normally for months, drive a car, or not even being able to fucking play video games. Not to mention the rest of your ski season is ruined.

Funniest thing i've seen wasn't actually in a park, but my friend's back yard. He made a really shitty rail, that he could practice on. Well first time he tried it all of us were there, and well the damn thing collapsed under his weight when he jumped on it to slide. He was fine but we laughed our asses off. I can't seem to find the video of it.

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king skiing preppy again since 1999.

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i almost slide a kids head off with my ski when i rode up to a flat box, when i noticed some kid was coming up almost right beside me. of course, he goes to jump the lip on to the box like all those little kids do, but he notices i was going there and he ducked out last second and kinda bailed right beside the box. by that time, he was a bit in front of me, and bailed just as i jumped onto the box. so he was right beside it as i was sliding it and he lifted his head up to the level where my skis were sliding, and the tails of my skis just missed his neck by like nothing. close call. stupid kids..

stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Justin

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~

Capital City Rider / DFP

keep it real.
 
A blader cut in front of me while i was going for a jump and I backhanded him with my pole right in the mouth and I hope I took out a tooth.

 
This 12 year old was standing in line and the lift house's roof of snow next to him slid and buried him. When i walked by there was a crowd of patrolers crowded around a pile of snow, i couldn't see the boy so i didn't know he was in there, and i hear this really loud wimper that freaked the shit out a me. He ended up breaking his femur and some other shit.

"Do you smell what im steppin in?"
 
haha we had been seshing this box all morning and were totally rippin it. later in the day a news crew shows up and the only shot they get of me is hittin it and goin switch out to eating shit. i was so pissed, and the worse part is that was on the news!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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wow really funny!! a broken femur hahaha

wow almost a critical life changing injury...so fn funny wow

i almost shit myself!!you are hysterical bro....you watched a kid fall and break his femur wow thats funny, people die from that injury...funny shit

i hope you hit a fkn tree and get buries in a tree well and suffocate to death

 
I fell on this DFD and my ski came off. THe brakes didnt release so my ski went flying down the hill. Hit mount snows 75 fter stayed perfect int he air. THe ski landed and the break still didn't release. The ski then proceeded to hit the 55 right after that and landed then the break finally came down

it sucked, but is now funny

 
Oh man. I got all you owned. I ve skied most of my life on the shittiest dump of crap in the Midwest. Literally nothing but ski clubs filled with lil wanna be cool snowboarders and stupid old farts. Here are just a FEW stories from this hell hole

Story one

Ok, this place blows right? Never have any good hits or rails, its always set up bad. Well, the one time, we get there, and to our amazement there is a pretty sick 55 ft table right in the middle of the park. We are pumped, cause this shit never happens at this hill. Well, we get on the lift, and no ones hitting it. But, every lil 6 year old on the hill is rolling the fresh lip. So from the chair, im yellin at lil kids to stop and blah blah blah. Well, when I get off at the top, there is some old dude, in rentals, jeans and a sweatshirt waiting for me. He comes up to me and TOTALLY goes off on how I cant talk to kids that way, and that they have just as much right to do whatever they want, blah blah blah. After hes done threatening me, I calmly explain that not only are they gonna wreck the jump, that someone obviously put some time into, but they are gonna get hit by someone actually hitting the jump. He’s still super pissed, and skis off with the words, “I have my eye on you, you say one more thing to my kids, and your GONE!� now im laughin by this point, and we decide to go check out this jump. Well, after sessionin it for a few hours, mr old dude comes up to me. Im like, ah shit, not again. Hes like, hey, you were right, im pretty stupid. My kids could really get hurt over here. Ill keep um off it. I was impressed that he actually did this, and thanked him, and skied off. A few minutes later, all the head groomers are out fixing the lip that all the little turd burgers had fucked up. Well, this same old dude, comes plowin down the hill, with his lil kid holding onto his pole. Hes heading straight for the jump, where all these dudes are. PLOWS right into um! Knocks the manager of the hill right on his ass! Damn I was bustin up. He then proceeded to get his pass clipped and was removed from the hill. Hahahaha.

Story two

On that same jump, same day, my snowboard buddy is linnin up to hit it. His board was fucked from urbans, so he had to straightline it from the top. We are all lined up, keeping kids outta the way. And hes flyin down the inrun. Right as hes at the lip, some lil 13 yr old snowboarder rides out onto the table. He sees him, and trys to stop. Hes slidin sideways, but goes straight off the lip, and lands right on hid back from about 10 feet up. We are all pissed, and go help him up. We ride down and find the kid, and just start SCREAMING at him. Our lil super gnar shred buddy kid, whose 14 and 80 lbs, starts getting in the kids face, threatin him and shit. I was tryin to keep a straight face, but the kid just started cryin his ass off (he was 14ish), and we told him we never wanted to see him in the park again, and left. Funny stuff.

Story three

We were all runnin a train on this one whale box. We are all up waitin to drop, and jst chillin. All of a sudden, im on my ass. WTF!?!?!? Some gapper dude, who looked a lot like matt Harvey with black hair, had freakin drilled me in a straight tuck. From what everyone could guess, he was goin about 40 mph. luckly for me, he hit low, and just took my legs out from under me. I get up, perfectly fine, and am like WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? And I see the dude layin there. Im like holy shit, you hit me? And hes like, ur yeah, I guess so, mybad. Dude, you coulda ruined me, why don’t you get the hell out of the park til you can learn to ski? And then he ran (skied) away.

Story four

So I was judging this one big air comp. it was a sick jump, but it was dumping, and there was a strong headwind. Everyone who was smart didn’t bother to enter. Well, the snowboarders could NOT clear it cause of the wind. Well, this one kid drops in. you can tell hes goin WAY too slow. We are all waving him off, and tryin to get him to stop. Well, he didn’t listen, and hit it. Got about 15 ft up, did a half back flip, and landed RIGHT at the halfway mark on the deck on his head, and bounced off and landed in the landing (this was a 65 footish jump!). when he hit, his head put a 6 inch dent in the hard ice on the deck. His ass bounced a good 30 ft from where he hit. It was crazy. He was aight, but it was still insane

Story five.

So our lil gnar shred buddy rogi (the 14 yr old, 80 lbs), is a pretty rad lil kid. At the time, he was rockin my old Oneil one piece. Super neon, crazy baggy on his scrawny ass. He had a bright orange condom res hat on and some fire lense a frames. Lil steez ball. So, were on the lift, and this gapper dude, prolly 18 or so, around 180lbs, is rockin a hat JUST like his. So he starts screamin: STOPP THIEF!!!! You stole my steez! Hes goin up to the kids face and everything and jst is rippin on him, all day. The dude is getting really pissed, and is telling him hes gona kick his lil ass, blah blah blah. Us, and all of this kids friends are totally bustin up by now, cause this dude is getting owned by a lil kid. So he says he doesn’t wanna go to jail for beating the poop outa a lil kid or something, and challenges him to some snowboard-off. Now, the park sucks nuts, with a few small rails, and a 15 ft table. First trick: cab 3. rogi stomps the piss outta it like it aint no thing. Other kid flails like shit, and skids out. Rogis laughin his ass off now too, and this dude is flaming mad. Next trick, do some cool shit on the one good rail, a lil 16 ft double barrel. Dude try to 50-50, slides off, and drills himself in the face. Rogi: sick ass nose press to pretzel out. Haha, by now the kid was a angry mess. After that he said fuck it and rode down to the lodge to lick his wounds. Funniest thing ive ever seen.

Haha, I have sooooo many more, but im tired ass fuck from typing all that shizit.

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