Fun with the 5-0

doritos

doritos

Active member
So... yesterday I was going over to a friends' house at about 12:45 after work. We each had to take our own cars, and I was a little high so naturally I wanted to speed like hell. Almost immediately, I got stuck behind some string bean son of a bitch going 25 in a 35 or something preposterous like that. Keep in mind that I have no idea what "string bean" means, but it sounded pretty cool there. A pig was poking his snout out from a little side street, but I didn't see him so I carelessly downshifted to 3rd and suddenly I was at 60mph.

I looked up from the tachometer (I usually do that when I'm pushing each shift to the red line) and there's that sleazy piece of bacon grinning from ear to ear because some kid wearing an orange, blue, and white stoner hat just blew by him going 60+ in a 35 blasting rap about drugs and raping opposing rappers' girlfriends. Cute.

Blue lights came on and I pulled over to the side, where I got the pleasure of watching my friend zoom by laughing his ass off at my idiocy. Cop got out of his car... show time.

"Hey there officer, what can I do for you tonight?"

"You were going pretty fast back there..."

"Yeah, I know... my parents set my curfew at 1:00 and they're REALLY uptight about it. I wasn't going to speed that much, just 5mph over to help me not be quite as late haha. I just had to get out from behind that guy because he was going really slow."

"Well... 5mph is still speeding..."

"Yeah, I know, but you know how it is. You need to get somewhere fast so you go 5 over even though you know deep down it won't help at all *huge fake grin*."

"Yeah... well, you were going 65 when you passed that guy..."

"Well, it wouldn't have been safe for me to go any slower. I was passing him in the opposite lane, what if someone was coming the other direction?"

"I uh... I guess you're right there. License and registration."

"Well... I don't actually have my license, left it at home... I'm really forgetful heh. I'm happy to give you my name and any other information you may need to look me up though. Here's my registration and insurance so you know it's me."

"I'll be right back..."

5 minutes later...

"Were you involved in any drug-related incidents a week ago?"

"No sir. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well we have you down for one."

"I usually work late so I'm out at night all the time, I get a lot of officers asking me if I'm doing anything illegal."

"You know if there are any pipes in the car, you can't get arrested. It'll make things much easier for you if you just tell me about them ahead of time and save everyone some trouble."

"I don't even smoke, sir (Still wearing my stoner-ass hat)."

"You don't smoke anything?"

"Well, I smoke cigarettes to take the edge off at work, but not weed."

"Not even once?"

"Well... I did once back in my sophomore year of high school, but that was four years ago haha (So, SO hard to keep a straight face here)."

"Interesting... well... don't... don't speed any more... have a good night..."

"You too, officer. Thanks for helping to keep our streets safe, man."

Not even a warning bitches. That's how it's done.

 
pics or it didnt happen GAHHH i just had to sorry.

nah for real tho props, i wish that woulda worked for me. i told the officer my lil brother was home alone throwing up and i needed to get to him, but i guess it kinda worked cuz he wrote up 39 when i was definitly doing more =D
 
nice andrew, me and this kid adam got in an accident friday...went into a 10 foot deep ditch/cliff. pretty funny but he was fucked. anyways, we try to tow it out ourselves...no dice. we go talk to a guy and he gets a guy to come tow us out, but when we get back adam is sitting there talking to a cop with his lights on. i walk up "hey tucks on the way"

the cop says "you must be nick?"

me-"(shit) yes sir"

he asks me a bunch of shit about myself for no reason i can think of and then i ask if he wants my side of the story (he though we were "horseassing around") he says sure and i tell him. he doesnt believe me but he says he doesnt really care and says no ticket for adam and to be careful in the future.

so no trouble besides for adam cause his car was fucked.

that was my last cop encounter.
 
one time my dipshit friend decided to throw my backpack in a tree at this town function shit

and the cops patrol this place beacuse everybody smokes weed there.

well to get my backpack down they needed to come with a ladder and i had a about a 1/4 of an ounce in it.

thank god the cop didnt look inside because it was right at the top too.

stupid fucking friends
 
i was pulled over doing 90+ in a 55, no registration or proof of insurance, and got a verbal warning for 79 in a 55. only thing i can figure is my gf was with me, i was wearing a collared shirt (driving her home in my dad's '72 Porsche from church- only time i went all summer), and i was super nice. pigs are just fucking weird- want to fuck you in the ass one minute and kiss ass when you're in a nice car looking respectable the next. i hate cops.
 
talking your way out of a 5mph over the limit, where the hell do you live that they dont give you a 5mph grace? around here 78 in a 65 is pretty acceptable even if a cop is driving right next to you
 
Haha I know, I don't make too many so when I do I try to make them good and detailed so it's actually interesting to read... usually if I'm on here I'm bored anyways so it's not like I have anything better to do heh.

And your friend is lucky Nick, you almost always get a ticket when it's blatantly your fault like that haha. Honestly though... horseassing? Hahahaha...
 
yeah he said horseassing like 90 times, but then he told me about how he made it from whiteriver junction back to jericho in like 20 mins one day hahaa thats like a 2 hour drive. but yeah he is really lucky the guy was cool, it was right on orr road by your neighborhood on the left, i got in two accidents in the same place in 2 days, we took out the speed limit sign on the right and you can see our tire tracks over it if you look haha.
 
Haha, that would be. Nah, my car redlines at 55 in 2nd, so I had just barely shifted to 3rd so I had time to look up from the tachometer at the road before I looked back down to make sure I didn't overrev.
 
So I just reread that and realized I just told you how I normally accelerate, not what happened there seeing as I was in 4th then downshifted. So instead of writing a ridiculously long post no one would care about (which definitely would've happened) here's what you need to know:

1. My broken-ass Impreza redlines at 55 in 2nd.

2. I was looking at my tachometer for whatever foolish reason when I was passing the guy, so I didn't see the 5-0.
 
it probably went more like this

fagboy-(before the cop even speaks)Im so sorry officer i didnt mean to i swear i'll do anything i can't get into trouble my mom's gonna kill me. (sobbing)

cop- shut the fuck up you little pussy. suck my dick, give me your shitty ass bud, and i'll think about letting you go.

fagboy-(face lights up) o gladly mr officer. want to abuse my asshole too?

ends up getting out of ticket after deeds are gladly done
 
It was hard to stay out of this thread, as I see it being fairly retarted. I mean, you were only going 5 mph over the speed limit. What would be more legit, and make you totally awesome, was if you were doing 20 over the limit and talked your way out of it. But clearly all the kids in this thread think you are amazing for something that could easily be done. Sorry.

 
nice attempt at sarcasm, but you should read the thread more carefully.

sweet story man- your good at telling them. kept me entertained the whole time
 
Uhm... yeah, I was going 60+ haha... The 5 miles over thing only comes in when I told the cop that's how fast I planned on going once I had passed the other car. I'm not trying to claim or pretend I'm really cool because I talked a cop out of a ticket, I just thought it was an interesting story and when I'm bored I find writing long posts much more enjoyable than staring at my screen, so it kind of worked out.
 
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