Fuck the police. You know this is gonna be long as my dick. Claim!

doritos

doritos

Active member


Sophomore in college and I thought I was done with this

bullshit, but apparently the police can't get enough of me. It's because I

listen so well! Like I really listen! I donno, I'm high, which is where my

story begins. I was getting driven back to my apartment, sitting in the back

seat with two fine young ladies, smoking bowls with my one of my best friends

and these girls from his dorm. /Claim... haha. Anyways, great end to the night,

I thought.

No more than a hundred feet from my apartment we see completely unexpected blue

lights. Dammit.

However, I've been dry for a week waiting for heads and the girl who had been

smoking us up had already left so I figured we were mostly good except for my

friend's gorgeous heady bubbler he got for $240 at Full Tank in Burlington.

Really cool looking. Anyways, my friend (fuck it, his name is Alex) played it

off really well. The officer seemed like he was gonna leave us alone. He told

us we'd be on our way soon... then another officer showed up. Immediately knew

shit was about to hit the fan. Naturally, no one believed me.

Soon as the other one had parked the first one came back and started

interrogating Alex about weed. I refrained from going second grade on his ass

and saying "I told you so", despite my burning desire to do so. He

was still pretty cool though, said he didn't want to the officer searching the

car for personal reasons. I tried rubbing his shoulder awkwardly to maybe get

the officer to think we were gay to rationalize Alex's story, but (claim again)

the remaining girl in the back was pretty much on my lap despite the entire

seat being open /claim. Mission failed. The officer hinted about dogs if we

didn't cooperate... seriously?

Anyways, the girl sitting shotgun caved even though she wasn't being questioned

and handed over her eighth (come to think of it... she let the other girl pack

all three bowls even though she had that... what the fuck?). So she got taken

out and then the officer started really pressing us about the dogs. I asked the

officer if he found anything on our records that had caused him to suddenly

attack us when it seemed like there wasn’t going to be a big scene. He joked

with me about it, then asked me to step out of the car. It’d probably be good

to mention at this time that I was wearing the following shirt, which the

officer somehow hadn’t noticed yet…

[url=http://media.nscdn.com/uploads/cache/images/1221023383-627859-600x450-12210230030910080054a.jpg%5b/img]http://media.nscdn.com/uploads/cache/images/1221023383-627859-600x450-12210230030910080054a.jpg[/img[/url]]

Deep sigh… then I crawled out of the backseat. I’m in the

middle of Court Diversion right now from the story I posted in March, I really don’t

need police attention. He started laughing

at my shirt, I joked about how I was wondering what he’d think. At this point

my primary goal was to get them comfortable so maybe Alex could salvage his

precious bubbler. With dogs imminent, Alex did the right thing and let them

search the car, and then did a complete 180 and made a critical mistake by

telling them he had a bubbler. More on this later.

I

immediately started talking to the other officer. Where I was going to school,

what I was studying, etc. He was pretty chill, got everybody involved in a

pretty decent discussion given the circumstances. Asked him about his tazer and

then if he would shock me to “see what it felt like” (read: get badass points

and pity points with my female companions simultaneously haha). He said it

would knock me on my ass and I asked if we could do it on the grass then. He

laughed but declined – thankfully. I was kinda completely kidding earlier. That

shit would hurt like hell.

It was

about this time the officer searching the car came back and consulted with the

second cop, who said, “Well we didn’t find your piece, guess you get to keep it”.

Alex laughed nervously (and pitched a tent, he loves that bubbler) and said

goodbye. But his mistake came back to haunt him, the girl in the back seat with

me is crafty and stuck it in her purse in some crazy pocket they didn’t see

when they searched it. But the first cop said he wanted to take another look at

all our bags because Alex had said he had a piece and it had to be somewhere.

Jackass. A second investigation revealed the bubbler. R.I.motherfucking.P.

After

that they left us alone. No citations or charges, which was great. I felt

terrible for my friend, but it could have been worse. So yeah… fuck the police.

Yeah. Viva la revolucion. All that shit. It was just a fucking story, if you

read all that for something else that sucks.

Cliffnotes: Are you fucking kidding me?

 
Kinda ruins the flow of the story, sorry for the fail, but I typed it up in Word and I forgot it added the hyperlink.

1221023383-627859-600x450-12210230030910080054a.jpg

 
Ok kid, don't say fuck the police, they seemed very very reasonable in your story. Taking your piece is part of their job man, they just gotta do it, and they didn't give you guys any citations or anything, consider yourselves lucky.

I liked the story though haha. God a pick of the piece?

And $240 for a bubbler.....damn it must have been really fucking sick.
 
dooooo i wouldnt say fuck the police in this situation.....nobody got a ticket?! thats dope! you can always get another bubbler. It could have been wayyyyyy worse where i'm from
 
What do you mean fuck the police? You could have gotten in trouble ( I would have said more trouble but you didn't get in any), and given your present legal state, im sure any minor charge would have shit on you hard. These cops could have been mega dicks and totally fucked you in the ass but you get to walk away without a hitch.

Dont bitch, don't complain, just be glad the most serious audience to gear this story has to be newschoolers and not a judge.
 
ahahahhahahahahhahhahh seattle hempfessstt baby

what a dope story (no pun intended). hope everything went well with the girls afterwards if ya catch my drift
 
I figured the end of my post would kind of explain the title, I don't really care about the "fuck the police" thing, I just did it to get peoples' attention because convincing the average NSer to read a story that long is pretty much impossible. I'm gonna ask my friend for pics of the piece tomorrow, I'm pretty sure he has them. They're phone pics which won't really do it justice but you'll be able to see how amazing it would be in person haha. I'm sure he's grieving right now though, so I'll leave him alone.
 
The girls were originally going to come up and see my room because they've never been over but after the incident they didn't much feel like sticking around... oh well. Next time.

And, last thing before I go to bed, this puppy comes out to a little under one and a half pages single-spaced in MS Word. That's 11" for one paper plus 4" or so for the next. 15"? You know it.
 
You didn't get in trouble and you're bitching??? seriously dude, i got a pot and paraphernalia ticket and shit took 7 months and 3 grand from me, shit suck. Be lucky you had chill dude that only took the pipe.
 
Haha good, you actually understand the point of this thread.

If you're wasting time on NS, this is a decent way to do it. It's a long, amusing sotry. That's it. I'm not bitching, please tell me where in my story I come off as whiny. It's a joke. Read the last paragraph, read my replies to this thread for Chrissakes. I know I got off easy.

The "Claim"s are for comedic effect, or to show that I'm not just another prick doucher on NS trying to make myself look cooler because OMFG! a girl sat on my lap, like that's any sort of accomplishment. Everyone hating needs to develop a sense of humor, or not read things they know they're not going to like and subsequently waste my time writing stupid responses.

To everyone who enjoyed it - thanks, I'm glad. I enjoyed writing it.
 
dude, for 240 bucks you can buy a bong with a diffuser slide, a perk and an ice catch, your buddy got ripped off. My friend has a double perk diffuser ice bong made by phx for 280, and thats a double perk.
 
Haha I know, I've been buying glass for awhile. He definitely did not get ripped off at all though dude. Like this was the SICKEST bubbler I've ever seen, I could stare at it for hours sober. Seriously. And it had a nice deep bowl, massive carb so it cleared really easily, like it was just the coolest-looking, best-designed little bubbler. I love the hell out of bongs, don't get me wrong, in fact they're probably my favorite way to smoke, but it's not always about getting the biggest, smoothest piece you can. He wanted a small, compact piece he could use pretty much anywhere conveniently that was also really cool and one-of-a-kind. Maybe you'll understand when I post pics haha.
 
Descent story, I hate police, not cause there bad people, even though there are some real fuckin assholes around. But mostly cause they mke me mad nervous, guess its a personal problem, but for some reason i always feel like im doing something that i shouldnt. proly cause i am
 
haha sick story. 240 for a bub seems expensive, but i've seen double fist sized bubs for that much so idk, i want to seee pics. you got fuckin lucky boy. and why the fuck is all of NS hating on this, haha some kidsss.
 
haha good story sounds like pretty chill cops

any kind of citation or ticket + criminal record > nice bubbler

id sayyou came out on top either way
 
For sure, especially because I'm enrolled in Court Diversion. If I get a citation now I get kicked out, which means I lose the $100 entrance fee I've already paid to get in, plus my case goes back to court, so I get slammed with two tickets at once. Not good at all. I really need to avoid smoking in stupid places like cars for the time being...
 
You claimed so much during that, haha.

But yeah, cops could have been way worse. Like...he could have tasered you for the hell of it!
 
Claiming is wicked hot right now. Especially when you're claiming stuff as extreme as riding in a car with three girls! Not too many people can say that. God, I feel like a pimp right now.

If you didn't get the sarcasm, please. They invented vasectomies for people like you.
 
Im proud to say that i ride in cars with 3 other girls on a pretty regular basis. The vasectomy might be a little harsh though, watch out or i'll get my taser.
 
I can personally attest to this bubblers awesome-ness. It was deffently a fashion over function piece but it served us well for quite some time. RIP Zoolander...
 
BrokenBones can also personally attest to the laziness, incompetence, and forgetfulness exhibited by the piece's owner. He doesn't know how to picture message, he said he'd try and figure it out but I guarantee he spent four seconds and said "Fuck that". Next time I see him I'll steal his phone and do it.
 
heey dude i remeber you from my "diversion" thread. yeah i finished my contract and now i'm back to blazin ganj. after 5 months of being clean, the first toke session knocked me on my ass. mad hallucination. good for you that you didn't get a ticket, that would have fucked you over.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top