Fuck Social Anxiety

tac0.slayer

tac0.slayer

Member
Yeah I know /rant threads are pretty cliche here, but who cares...

So as a senior in highschool, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I most likely have (sometimes) crippling social anxiety. Always have kinda known it, but never really wanted to acccept it or face it. I have always been the one to feel that "mental illnesses" are just cop outs to being a pussy (which is obviously not true). After an incident today I really have come to terms about how much it has had a effect on me.

Looking back, ever since I can remember, I have always been affected by it to some degree. Like I have always just brushed it off as being a bitch when I get insanly nervous and start shaking violently almost to the point of hyperventilating over something as simple as saying here during role call. It has gotten to the point before where I could hardly bring myself to walk into a class full of strangers due to irrational fear of being judged. I can recall conversations where it had gotten to the point where It seemed like I was speaking complete jibberish due to shaking shortness of breath.

The worst part about it is the avoidence. I have a tendancy too mull things over weeks in advance, figuring out how I can get out of them or what I should do refarding any social interaction I forsee. I recall many times where I have literally hidden out in a school bathroom pretending to take a 25 minute shit just to avoid beeing seen. Talking to new people and starting small talk is terrifying for me, resulting in awkward silence or garbaled sentences that make no sense riding the ski lift up the hill.

I have never been bullied teased or anything my whole life, yet still have an irrational fear of being judged by strangers, especially peers. I have a great group of friends, and seem like a pretty normal nice guy when around people I am comfortable with, but with even the slightest fear of being judged or looked at, I become a wreck. I begin to sweat, shake, the whole 9 yards.

I honestly dont really know where I was going with this, I am just fucking sick of all these irrational fears. Like I never have really adressed it to anyone, or myself for that matter so I guess I am kinda just venting at the moment.

I guess I was just wondering how many people on here have ever really experienced something similar, or what anyone has done about it?

Typed on mobile, sorry if its shit

TL;DR Op cant get his shit together when it comes to social interaction
 
don't worry about everyone else. find the problem internally and fix it. I had the same issue through the first year of college and two years later I finally got a grip on it. Just take life slow and be yourself, be genuine, don't be fake and don't sell out. The best way to get away from anxiety is to step into the pressure and accept it.

Good luck man, NS is always around to help....Unless you ask about something stupid. Then expect to get shat on.
 
topic:tac0.slayer said:
Yeah I know /rant threads are pretty cliche here, but who cares...

So as a senior in highschool, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I most likely have (sometimes) crippling social anxiety. Always have kinda known it, but never really wanted to acccept it or face it. I have always been the one to feel that "mental illnesses" are just cop outs to being a pussy (which is obviously not true). After an incident today I really have come to terms about how much it has had a effect on me.

Looking back, ever since I can remember, I have always been affected by it to some degree. Like I have always just brushed it off as being a bitch when I get insanly nervous and start shaking violently almost to the point of hyperventilating over something as simple as saying here during role call. It has gotten to the point before where I could hardly bring myself to walk into a class full of strangers due to irrational fear of being judged. I can recall conversations where it had gotten to the point where It seemed like I was speaking complete jibberish due to shaking shortness of breath.

The worst part about it is the avoidence. I have a tendancy too mull things over weeks in advance, figuring out how I can get out of them or what I should do refarding any social interaction I forsee. I recall many times where I have literally hidden out in a school bathroom pretending to take a 25 minute shit just to avoid beeing seen. Talking to new people and starting small talk is terrifying for me, resulting in awkward silence or garbaled sentences that make no sense riding the ski lift up the hill.

I have never been bullied teased or anything my whole life, yet still have an irrational fear of being judged by strangers, especially peers. I have a great group of friends, and seem like a pretty normal nice guy when around people I am comfortable with, but with even the slightest fear of being judged or looked at, I become a wreck. I begin to sweat, shake, the whole 9 yards.

I honestly dont really know where I was going with this, I am just fucking sick of all these irrational fears. Like I never have really adressed it to anyone, or myself for that matter so I guess I am kinda just venting at the moment.

I guess I was just wondering how many people on here have ever really experienced something similar, or what anyone has done about it?

Typed on mobile, sorry if its shit

TL;DR Op cant get his shit together when it comes to social interaction
Click to expand...

fuck people dude, just rock out with your cock out no one cares what you do.
 
13572893:SkiThe603 said:
don't worry about everyone else. find the problem internally and fix it. I had the same issue through the first year of college and two years later I finally got a grip on it. Just take life slow and be yourself, be genuine, don't be fake and don't sell out. The best way to get away from anxiety is to step into the pressure and accept it.

Good luck man, NS is always around to help....Unless you ask about something stupid. Then expect to get shat on.
Click to expand...

Whut r the best Full Tilts? +k

But no seriously thanks man, I really appreciate it.

It's not like I get depressed or anything, it's just like I'm sick and fucking tired of it affecting me. Like I still love to do cool stuff, and I'm not letting it depress me, but it just really gets old.
 
13572909:tac0.slayer said:
Whut r the best Full Tilts? +k

But no seriously thanks man, I really appreciate it.

It's not like I get depressed or anything, it's just like I'm sick and fucking tired of it affecting me. Like I still love to do cool stuff, and I'm not letting it depress me, but it just really gets old.
Click to expand...

picture every person you come across as having the same fear. seriously--picture them in your head in a stall, quivering in social fear. Picture the head cheerleader crying in a bathroom stall over her insecurities. Once you picture everyone as having insecurities, and realize they do, you will feel better.
 
Im 28 and have been dealing with the same issues since I was about 18/19 years old. Ive found the older I get, the less fucks I give about what people think. If people are judging you, fuck them! You have better things to worry about! Hang with your core group of friends and go about your life!

Also, as much as you don't want to hear this, lay off the weed if youre smoking a ton. Since I cut back from being a full time pot head, my nerves are definitely much more calm. That could also come along with the fact Im becoming an old man too, FWIT.
 
I've been struggling with social anxiety since I was in pre-school. I did get bullied for a couple years in middle school but I was so quiet that I just ignored it.

These days, its been getting better... But I still have trouble with basic conversations once in awhile.

For example, a younger skier on the chairlift asked me for some advice on jumps... All of my knowledge of park skiing went straight out the window and I stuttered harder than Billy from "One Flew over the cukoos nest". Simple stuff like that gives me problems and I can't get over it.
 
13572935:japanada said:
Im 28 and have been dealing with the same issues since I was about 18/19 years old. Ive found the older I get, the less fucks I give about what people think. If people are judging you, fuck them! You have better things to worry about! Hang with your core group of friends and go about your life!

Also, as much as you don't want to hear this, lay off the weed if youre smoking a ton. Since I cut back from being a full time pot head, my nerves are definitely much more calm. That could also come along with the fact Im becoming an old man too, FWIT.
Click to expand...

+1 on this I used to smoke weed to try and deal with social anxiety but in hindsight it made it way fucking worse. Booze is good for it but can become quite the crutch so be careful.
 
13572956:HAMNATION said:
+1 on this I used to smoke weed to try and deal with social anxiety but in hindsight it made it way fucking worse. Booze is good for it but can become quite the crutch so be careful.
Click to expand...

Yeah I dont really smoke that much, so I dont think thats really it, but have always wondered the affects it might have on my anxiety.
 
If you're uncomfortable in your own skin, dont turn to drugs and alcohol. It will only mask your issues and youll end up in a jail cell vomiting on the floor with no idea how you got there, and it will be a long hard road to recovery.

Face your issues. maybe see a therapist or counselor, someone you can talk to about the issues your having and work them out.
 
Im the exact same way op, Im about as awkward as it gets and somehow always end up in some social interaction, its the worst. There's nothing wrong with doing things solo-dolo, when its just me and my thoughts i feel a lot better than with some people that don't click with me. Im glad I have amy family and a couple of good friends that I can be real with and wont judge the way I feel.

Just find your passion and stick with it, don't give other people power to change you what you love by being afraid of their views.

I'm rooting for you mate, and I hope the anxiety doesn't wear down on you.
 
The best advice I can give to you is just do it.

I didn't really know anything about exposure therapy when I was younger but I basically did it on my own.

I was terrified to walk down a hallway in school, talk to people, even friends, call people, answer calls, basically do anything other than hide. Anything even the tiniest bit outside my patterns and habbits was fucked. I had my whole system of pen clicks, steps on certain tiles, times I could do something, ways I could do things. It was ridiculous.

Honestly that and other stuff was bad to the point where I was pretty sure my best chance was to end up in some outpatient type program where I had a set place to live and a job I was supposed to go to. I could get into my routine and everything would be alright and I could kind of live a normal ish life.

Anyway in high school and just after decided to just send it. Started talking to strangers Sometimes I would get scared and bitch out. Sometimes Id go to walk into a store and run back to my car etc.

I just kept trying to pick things off in little bits. Maybe just say "Hey" to a stranger and that was all, but it was still a huge step. Anyway I kept going with that. Also going to new places where I felt uncomfortable. I would get extreme anxiety but then conquer it, even in some pathetic manner, but still a victory for me.

Anyway, years later, I still have bade anxiety but it's a different world. I talk to so many people, I talk to strangers all the time. I go to places that make me uncomfortable alone. I'll drive places with no game plan, no idea what the hell I'm doing and somehow make it work.

I'm still terrified of everything, heights, people, food, and a ton of other stuff but it's much more manageable.

I really don't know that I would have made it this far if I hadn't started doing that.

I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. Basically start now. Say hello to the random at the gas station, strike up a quick convo of small talk bullshit in line at the store etc. If there are things you would like to do that make you uncomfortable, do them. Even if it's at a slow pace. If could very likely be a game changer for you.

Ended up meeting a psychologist that deals with this sort of thing totally randomly. Not even an appointment didn't even know what he did for work, but was just chatting about this or that and it came up. He basically said that exposure therapy is the best thing in these cases. That what I ended up doing on my own is what him and other people in that profession would have told people to do.

Idk. Just don't give up hope.

I'm terrified as fuck of heights. Watching somebody climb a ladder makes me feel sick even sometimes. In the spring I plan on going and getting my skydiving license. Why? Because fuck fear.

Also, a lot of people have anxiety. Just because everyone seems normal doesn't mean they aren't weird anxious creatures. Some people don't really struggle with it, others it's insane, but you never really know. Some of the people around you who you think have it all together might be all fucking weird inside.

Just keep your head up and make the best of it. Best of luck man!
 
I feel you dude. It's awful. I've been trying to get better with it and I've found that when I'm skiing or at skiing related events I feel like a 100% new person. It has to do with confidence in my opinion. For the most part I know the things that I know and don't know when it comes to skiing. I can comfortably talk to someone about skiing and not feel stupid about it. It's just because I have confidence in that, you know? But when I talk to strangers I just don't know how to start conversation. I don't relate well to people pretty much. And it all comes back to me having no confidence in any of that.

On the mountain I'm a totally different person because I have something in common with the people there. Whereas in "real life" I just don't get it. I don't really do normal things, listen to normal things, pay attention to "mainstream" things etc. I usually isolate myself when I don't have any prior obligation. I just don't let myself connect to people which further reinforces the confidence issues. I totally get you about being judged and it basically just goes back to confidence.

That's pretty much why I spend so much time on here and post so much to be honest. I like talking. I like interacting with people but when it's face to face about things I don't know, I lose all confidence. It's actually really bad, like the hiding behind the screen thing... But I would rather talk to people on here than people in my life because they're all fucking awful. I hate the people in my life and where I'm at. So it's kind of nice to get away from that.

Hit me up if you ever want to, man. I totally get where you're at. We can be socially anxious together lmao.
 
topic:tac0.slayer said:
Yeah I know /rant threads are pretty cliche here, but who cares...

So as a senior in highschool, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I most likely have (sometimes) crippling social anxiety. Always have kinda known it, but never really wanted to acccept it or face it. I have always been the one to feel that "mental illnesses" are just cop outs to being a pussy (which is obviously not true). After an incident today I really have come to terms about how much it has had a effect on me.

Looking back, ever since I can remember, I have always been affected by it to some degree. Like I have always just brushed it off as being a bitch when I get insanly nervous and start shaking violently almost to the point of hyperventilating over something as simple as saying here during role call. It has gotten to the point before where I could hardly bring myself to walk into a class full of strangers due to irrational fear of being judged. I can recall conversations where it had gotten to the point where It seemed like I was speaking complete jibberish due to shaking shortness of breath.

The worst part about it is the avoidence. I have a tendancy too mull things over weeks in advance, figuring out how I can get out of them or what I should do refarding any social interaction I forsee. I recall many times where I have literally hidden out in a school bathroom pretending to take a 25 minute shit just to avoid beeing seen. Talking to new people and starting small talk is terrifying for me, resulting in awkward silence or garbaled sentences that make no sense riding the ski lift up the hill.

I have never been bullied teased or anything my whole life, yet still have an irrational fear of being judged by strangers, especially peers. I have a great group of friends, and seem like a pretty normal nice guy when around people I am comfortable with, but with even the slightest fear of being judged or looked at, I become a wreck. I begin to sweat, shake, the whole 9 yards.

I honestly dont really know where I was going with this, I am just fucking sick of all these irrational fears. Like I never have really adressed it to anyone, or myself for that matter so I guess I am kinda just venting at the moment.

I guess I was just wondering how many people on here have ever really experienced something similar, or what anyone has done about it?

Typed on mobile, sorry if its shit

TL;DR Op cant get his shit together when it comes to social interaction
Click to expand...

I am in a similar but bearable situation. Would you say you have social anxiety or social phobia? The latter being accompanied by limbic system disfunction; panic, and uncomfortable physical sensations due in part to the activation of the amygdala (fight-or-flight). A lot of people will tell you to man up, or just ‘don’t give a fuck’ but it doesn't work like that because this disorder is in part subconscious.

Fear invoked each time certainty of action and reaction is doubted, engages the learning/challenge mode to learn the new context and remove threats, learn most effortless/painless use of reality. Hence, the fight-or-flight and the subsequent avoidance behavior.

I suffer from situational anxiety, which is very sporadic and often comes and goes. I can be the center of attention in a classroom and then out of the blue feel edgy and panicky. In one particular class, which didn’t have an air conditioner my ass sweated like crazy, so the subsequent classes I went in with a "preconceived notion, therefore I would tense up, sweat and often want to leave the area in hopes to find solitude.”

Do you exercise and/or meditate/sleep well? Meditation can modulate GABA levels as well as aroid exercise. Maybe, you have a reduced production of GABA. Which, would in theory sends false information to the amygdala which regulates the body's "fight or flight response" mechanism and in return, produces the physiological symptoms that lead to anxiety disorders including social anxiety disorder. Your limbic system is disfunctioning and there's an irrational fear that you cling to subconsciously, so resenitizing or up regulating GABA in the brain would decrease their turnover in limbic areas. Hence, you wouldn’t have much as the physical symptoms you are describing, Trust me, meditation works.

Anxiety disorders do suck though, because consciously you know they’re irrational yet, you feel helpless and are unable to do anything about them when they are in full force.
 
13572909:tac0.slayer said:
Whut r the best Full Tilts? +k

But no seriously thanks man, I really appreciate it.

It's not like I get depressed or anything, it's just like I'm sick and fucking tired of it affecting me. Like I still love to do cool stuff, and I'm not letting it depress me, but it just really gets old.
Click to expand...

You’re not the only one either, hundreds of thousands of people suffer from this disorder. What people tend to do is think that they are the only ones suffering from these sensations. Not that you think that.
 
13572935:japanada said:
Im 28 and have been dealing with the same issues since I was about 18/19 years old. Ive found the older I get, the less fucks I give about what people think. If people are judging you, fuck them! You have better things to worry about! Hang with your core group of friends and go about your life!

Also, as much as you don't want to hear this, lay off the weed if youre smoking a ton. Since I cut back from being a full time pot head, my nerves are definitely much more calm. That could also come along with the fact Im becoming an old man too, FWIT.
Click to expand...

Yup, weed exasperates anxiety for some people, especially strains high in THC, which is what everyone seems to want.

THC antagonizes GABA receptors, which in many cases leads to anxiety in the longterm. If you want to smoke weed smoke a 50:50 or even a 20:1 strain of CBD and THC, CBD is the antipsychotic in weed. It has the exact opposite mechanisms as THC without inhibiting its effects. Just mellows you out and keeps anxiety under control. Just so others know!
 
I asked Casey about this thread...he said "a little anxiety in the lead-up to a fuck social is normal."
 
13573108:Mingg said:
I feel you dude. It's awful. I've been trying to get better with it and I've found that when I'm skiing or at skiing related events I feel like a 100% new person. It has to do with confidence in my opinion. For the most part I know the things that I know and don't know when it comes to skiing. I can comfortably talk to someone about skiing and not feel stupid about it. It's just because I have confidence in that, you know? But when I talk to strangers I just don't know how to start conversation. I don't relate well to people pretty much. And it all comes back to me having no confidence in any of that.

On the mountain I'm a totally different person because I have something in common with the people there. Whereas in "real life" I just don't get it. I don't really do normal things, listen to normal things, pay attention to "mainstream" things etc. I usually isolate myself when I don't have any prior obligation. I just don't let myself connect to people which further reinforces the confidence issues. I totally get you about being judged and it basically just goes back to confidence.

That's pretty much why I spend so much time on here and post so much to be honest. I like talking. I like interacting with people but when it's face to face about things I don't know, I lose all confidence. It's actually really bad, like the hiding behind the screen thing... But I would rather talk to people on here than people in my life because they're all fucking awful. I hate the people in my life and where I'm at. So it's kind of nice to get away from that.

Hit me up if you ever want to, man. I totally get where you're at. We can be socially anxious together lmao.
Click to expand...

That’s just about all skiers
 
13572893:SkiThe603 said:
don't worry about everyone else. find the problem internally and fix it. I had the same issue through the first year of college and two years later I finally got a grip on it. Just take life slow and be yourself, be genuine, don't be fake and don't sell out. The best way to get away from anxiety is to step into the pressure and accept it.

Good luck man, NS is always around to help....Unless you ask about something stupid. Then expect to get shat on.
Click to expand...

//

What It's Like To Hear "Just Get Better"

Posted by BuzzFeed IRL on Sunday, December 6, 2015[/quote]

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What It's Like To Hear "Just Get Better"

Posted by BuzzFeed IRL on Sunday, December 6, 2015[/quote]
 
I dealt with a lot of the same shit in highschool and early college. Especially during classes, and anticipating things (like role call). The best method I found was meditation and mindfulness to tune out those thoughts. Also, cbt is very effective for this sort of thing. Best of luck to you man
 
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