First time flying

In a week I'm getting on a plane for the first time. any advice, warnings, etc? I'm excited, but I have no idea what to expect.

I'm flying from Portland to Denver if that makes a difference.
 
Wear sweats and a sweatshirt, pack your jacket in your luggage and wear shoes that are easy to take on and off, this will make security a breeze. Bring and ipod/magazine/book for the plane. Try to get a window seat cuz those are the best, unless you get motion sick easily then an aisle seat. And gum for popping your ears.
 
you're going to get on, and it will be cool for a bit. And then you'll realize that it's boring as fuck.

That's all there is too it, sometimes there's turbulence, that's always fun.
 
basically you wait for a couple hours at the airport, get on the plane, take off and get excited that your flying then get bored really quick. Idk your ears might get plugged which is annoying af and you might also have to deal with a weird ass stranger sitting beside you, unless you have seats with someone you know already. Really not that exciting tbh but you might have fun if you get a window seat since its kinda cool seeing things from up above and its your first time
 
It's the most exciting this ever. The sights, the sounds, the smells, everything. The food is generally awesome and cheap. When I lived in rochester I drove to the airport a few times just for the food.

On the plane ride people are generally insanely polite/friendly. I've met a lot of awesome people on flights some who have become my best friends ever. That said if you want to get some rests everyone is quite. They put families with small children on separate flights to make sure they don't bother other people traveling which is fucking awesome.

I sometimes look forward to getting laid over a little longer. Not too long if I have somewhere to go but airports are so fun and mysterious. I feel like I could spend a week in one and not get bored.

Def get stoked because it's going to be one of the most fun things you've ever done. Let us know how you liked it and take some pics to post!

Have fun man!!!!!!
 
try not to puke or else they make you sit with the flight attendants in the way way back and those stupid flip down chairs arent comfy
 
always whack it before your flight.

dont want any nrb's.

also, if youre flying to somewhere in a different time zone, mind blowing shit can happen.

like if its behind, does that mean you jerked off in the future, or that you never jerked off at all?

if you jerk off again, at the exact same time that you first jerked it, will your dick explode?

i dont even know.

flyings fucked up.
 
Order as many alcoholic drinks as possible. Then give them a credit card that wont scan. (HIDE YOUR CASH) The card readers most flight attendants use do not have the ability to punch in the numbers... So no way of charging them. Believe me they wont even care and they will be on the house. Done it a few times. Free drinks every time.
 
Also the best part about flying is if you're under age it's international waters and you can do whatever you want. Some flight attendants wouldn't serve me but I def had a drink or 2 here and there long before I was 21 on flights.
 
Watch a marathon of episodes of:

aci_a_rounded.jpg
 
I was on a flight from Phoenix to Boston last month and got the exit row for free. It was one of those planes with the double exit row so I was the only one sitting in any of the 10 exit row seats so I was sitting at the window and there wasn't a seat in front of me. The chick behind me starting bitching to the flight attendant about how I was allowed to sit in the exit row but no one else was allowed to. (It was some policy somewhere if you weren't holding an exit row ticket that you couldn't move to one of those seats.) Then she went on to the flight attendant like I wasn't there about how I was an asshole that paid $75 for the upgrade and how it's bullshit that anyone would pay to sit in the exit row and how it's safer for no one to sit in it since the flight attendants usually open the doors anyway. Basically her logic was I'm not sitting there so no one else should be either. I didn't say one word to her as I figured it would have been the douchiest thing to do to say I got a free upgrade. Basically the flight attendants were all super and notably nice to me and not as nice to that lady. It was a great flight.
 
No clue to tell you the truth I always hid it to make sure they didn't see it in my wallet. It happened by mistake the first time I did it. I was willing to pay. And this was northwestern airlines.
 
Number of times I've been fucked up going through security and tried to high five the TSA guy when I didn't set the metal detector off: At least twice.
 
no airline will take cash, if they took cash from an underage they are more likely to get caught, give em the free booze and say fuck em.

and op, try not to crash the fucking plane, dont breathe too much or the oxygen supply is liable to run out, children are the first to be eaten, and dont talk to any one, those are stranger, not friends. dont listen to these fucking hacks saying to make friends, fuck that shit for all you know there going haji ala ackbar on your ass first chance they get.
 
As soon as you get on yell "This plane is da bomb!" or "This flight is going to be a blast" or " I'm going to hijack this plane and crash it into an orphanage!"
 
Apparently 99% of planes crash but arn't reported. 0.9% of planes crash and get reported and only 0.1% of planes successfully make their trip. Enjoy, fingers crossed.
 
ive taken all sorts of scripts that arent mine thru tsa hella times flying home for break from florida for x mas, always on em, smuggling haha those dudes dont care at all unless you got a knife or some sketchy shit in yer bag. wouldnt suggest risking it like me, but i do suggest endulging in drugs before flying. xans and pain killers, hella blunts and edibles, and drinks at the airport. blacked out multiple times on the plane and kinda came to when we landed
 
Back
Top