Finally, park gaper training

SKIU4EA

SKIU4EA

Active member


Getting tired of snowplowers zig-zagging unpredictably all through the park with their ignorant parents close behind, usually through the in-runs? Or how about the family standing on the landing or knuckle out of sight, usually rocking the 215cm skis? wtf is this? Are you setting up for a family photo?

Don’t feel like reading the park rules? Don’t want to keep your kid in the safe spots? Hey! No worries. I got the answer for ya.

New highly sophisticated bindings with a proximity setting are the answer. They will be mounted on rentals. If the skier ventures closer than say.. 10 feet to any active in-run, unsafe landing, crowded rail/box, or any other place you can think of then the bindings, without warning, double eject the occupant out of their skis sending them flailing helplessly through the air, parents included.

Once they have successfully completed a park lesson/course. their proximity setting will be adjusted accordingly.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

 
haha funny thread but it could be easier and nicer to have some bouncers at the park entry who just kick families an gapers out
 
whats worse, a gaper that can move or a gaper penguin sliding right in front of you as you land?

ya but they would be warned about probably so they would not want to even go into the park anyways
 
obviously every ski area would employ Big Black to stand at the entrance to the park. i would be scared
 
ya gapers are intimidated by big jumps.... the more tecnical the park the less gapers that are inside. the only problem is that the lips onto the rails are wide enough for gapers to jump off of from the side....
 
ive always said like a 5 foot stepup with a channel into the park. small enough people who are learning but not amazing could make it, but just big enough that anyone not good enough would fall into the pit/gap in the middle.
 
haha no. some sort of slope/slide mechanism that would dump them out beside the park. back on a normal run. ive got nothing against gapers, except when they appear magically below me right after i leave the lip of a jump
 
This is how MTB trail work, and that's how park should word, like a test so that, gapers can't go thru. Would be prime.
 
exactly. we could even put padding in the bottom. i dont want to hurt them. just keep em out of the park.
 
Instead of padding, put a conveyor belt so it would bring them back to the green and blue runs.. hahaha!
 
or what about a fake park on a trail right before the real park that says "gaper terrain park" and it would be filled with random moguls and shitty bike racks to mimic rails. that way all the gapers would go in there thinking theyre hitting the real park
 


marking it a triple black diamond would makes gapers go in it and brag later about hitting a trip black, not a good idea, I like the gap idea though
 
put all these ideas together and we could design a gnarly Mtn. With conveyor belts all over the place, transporting gapers back and forth, kind of like at the airport.
 
making it a black doesnt help much, here the park is a double black and thered caution tape leading into it it only helps a bit
 
same, except here the moguls coaches take groups of 20 kids through the biggest jumpline and make their stupid mogul turns down the perfectly groomed landings then they yell at us "parkrats" for messing up their mogul course if we even come within 20 feet of it. fuck them. they're ignorant bastards who think they're better than everyone else.
 
Get one, preferably sick or weak, away from the group. Swarm him. Steal his boots. Defecate in said boots. He will spread the word about what hapened. They'll never fuck with you again, lest they want feces in their boots.
 
are you kidding me? I love the unpredictable gaper snowplow routes. You can make a sport out of dodging them on the popular main runs. It should be in the Olympics!
 
You could possibly train a dragon and whenever a gaper goes off a jump he would just fry them to a crisp I mean its really the only pratical solution
 
i agree. especially the ones that insist on carving all the way to the edge of the run. it adds an extra little challenge. the thing thats fustrating is when they cut you off right as youre about to hit a jump.
 
This sounds like a grand idea. Why just last week we were filming in the park and as i was clearly riding up to a c a woman in a full white suit with straight skis goes right between the box and i, barley avoiding a collision.
 
i just bark at gapers when they come through the park. i know for a fact i have scared a couple families away from ever jumping off lips again
 
i think we should be able to double eject gapers on command for entertainment purposes. just sayin...

ALSO, park pass
 
I take ofence to that right thererrer. my herre by grand daughter took one them pictures on them trick bumps.right before one a her youngens got her hed hitted and taken right off by one them missle ridas
1266565512family-ski-vacation.jpg
 
how about at the top of the park there is a 20' rail that has a pit of fire or barracudas below. if you cant make it across the rail then you cannot enter the park
 
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