Feeling Guilty....

Canuker

Canuker

Active member
I hate feeling guilty, yet it happens to me alot. no it is not because i stole something or did something bad. For some strange reason my parents seem to make me feel super guilty over ntohing. Like lately( the past year or so) me and my dad have been getting in arguments alot and just not seeing eye to eye, we usually end up yelling at each other for stupid reasons. At the time of the argument i wont give a shit what i say to him but for some reason later that night as im laying in bed thinking back to the fight i feel like shit, totally guilty. I dont know why something just sets me off> I'll start thinking how when i was a kid he would take me and my bro to the park to play soccer, or to the public pool or on a bike ride or osmething then i think how just an hour earlier i was totally yelling and saying hurtful things and i litterally want tot punch my self in the face. I feel guilty because i dont spend time with him anymore and such.

My mom is wwwaaayyy worse than my dad though. For example, say right before before i go to bed, while im in my room going through my closet or something ill come across a shirt that my mom may have bought for me that i never ended up wearing. I feel like shit, honestly i will will feel super guilty because i just think how she bought that for me and she was like " oh he'll like this for sure" and i say i like but i dont and just never end up wearing it. Usually i will suck it up and wear it the next day just to make her happy,.

Or another example was once i had a few friends over and we decided to go to the fair that was in town. My mom said to me earlier " oh well since you having friends over ill BBQ some stake for dinner" At the fair i totally forgot she said that and we eneded up eating hotdogs and stuff. When we got home from the fair she made a GREAT dinner steak and potatoes and all this other stuff and she was like " oh i hope you gusy are hungry i just finished cooking" and then i told her we already ate, and hse just gave me this look and was like " oh...ok, ill be up stairs if you need me". When that happened i felt like taking a bat to my head because she went through all that harwork for nothing. It makes me feel like the worst kid ever.

and those are just examples.

This happens to me basically everynight( for some reason never in the day), like while im lying in bed i just think back to stuff like that and think to my slef " i really wish i didnt yell at mom mom, or i really wish i didnt argue with my dad" and stuff and i just feel like shit because my parents do so much for me and like thats how i treat them. Some times i just think of an excuse to go to my mom room to ask her something just so i can say " good night, love you" again( pplleeassse dont chirp me for that one). SOmetimes i feel so bad that i feel like i need to make it up to them so i will literally get up out of bed and go downstairs to the living room and clean it up or clean up my room, or load and unload the dishwasher if it isnt, etc... Just little things like that to give me piece of mind.

as you may have guessed it is night where i am right now, i just got out of bed to write this to get it off my chest.

.

maybe i need a phyciatrist or something, lol.

Im just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way. or know's of some way to stop feeling guilty.

discuss.

p.s. please dont be like, " oh look at the little mommy's boy" or somethign stupid like that. Just because i say i love my mom does not make me some little loser kid.

.....or maybe it does....
 
honestly you've already done the best thing that you could have done...written it out, yes some of us have deeper concsience than others, thats why were constantly putting ourselves in others shoes and taking consideration of our actions...wow that doesn't sound like me does it?

anyways sleep it off
 
yeah shit happens man, dont dwell on it. just make an effort not to do it in the future and that is the best you can do.
 
no man, it happens to me all the time.

but if you feel like you need to talk to somebody, you definitely should, okay?
 
You are just dwelling on the negatives man. Have you been depressed lately? It seems like it, and if so then it just makes it that much easier to dwell on the worst and overanalyze things.

Sure you may piss them off and disappoint them sometimes, but you're a kid. Even more importantly, you're their kid. Everyones kids piss them off sometimes and upset them for making stupid decisions. That's life and they know it. Think of all the Good things you've done for them. They probably get more joy out of you being successful and growing up then you could ever realize. By the sounds of it you haven't done anything too bad, focus more on the good. Maybe try a little harder in the future but you are seriously over-analyzing the situation.
 
Yeah man, you're just dwelling on the small stuff too much. Come to think of it, i treat my parents with so much less respect then they deserve. You're a way better kid then i am, +karma for being totally rad.
 
It'll only get worse as you get older. They've been in your shoes and know you still love them. Just take a second to think before you speak. It's something to work on, but you will always say things to your parents you will regret later. I know exactly how you mean about shirts they get you... and now your making me feel guilty. Apologize, they'll always still know you love 'em.
 
Yeah man Im just like you but worse. Im real sentimental as well. Like a friend of mine would ask me to bring home food for her, and if she never could get around to eating it and told me to eat it, i couldnt. I would always feel guilty. I really cant stand taking stuff from people. and I always look back on how rude I was to my parents and regret it, but they understand, I was a kid I didnt know better
 
Thanks for the advice guys, it helps to know im not the only one who has been like this.

To answer some questions, no i have not been depressed lately although i do have a VER VERY bad tendency to get down on my self. But that usually only happens in sport.

And to who ever said just think before you speak, yea ive been trying to work on that but i have a kinda bad temper and when i get really pissed i just dont give a shit at the time like i cant hold my self back. But i have been maturing aaalllooottt in the passed years. All through elementry school i got suspended a totall of 12 times, i spent most of my day in the office. I was fucked up as a kid. in grade seven i got supended 3 times and spent a shit load of time kicked out of class and in the office. grade eight i got suspended twice and again spent a shit load of time in the hall/office ( but i only argued with one teacher who i had for 3 classe's) I enede up getting kicked out of one class all together and moving to another. Grade 9 i went to the office once and didnt get suspended once. This year( grade 10) so far havnt once argued with a teacher, no office, kicked out into hall once though.

so basically i have been maturing temndously in the past few years and my anger is getting better.
 
you should spend more time with your family, that's probably the best thing you can do at this point in your life
 


What i dont get about this is how you didnt eat the steak. I mean im always hungry for steak. And if not i would have looked at my friends and been like " alright guys you eat whatever she serves you, you enjoy it, and say thanks afterward"

But i get the same way, not with my dad though, cause i know he doesnt care and will just forget about it the next day. we yell at each other all the time

 
i get it with things they've bought for me, like ties or shirts or things i haven't worn much or don't particularly like when i find them or think about them i just feel really shitty. my mom got me a toy helicopter when i was like 7 and i remember i left it outside and i found it later and it was all broken and dirty and i felt so bad because i hadn't used it very much, i even still remember it, i just feel bad about stuff like that. my sister on the other hand just tells my mom she hates the thing and my mom returns it
 
wow. my moms been telling me to clean my room for like a year and i always just shove everything under the bed and in the closet so she shuts up and i tell her ill do a good job one day when im motivated enough. but now im going to clean my room shell be so happy. fuck yeah dude
 
show her this thread and quit over analyzing. i don't yell at my parents very often but when i do i say i'm sorry later and it's all better
 
I am older than 99% of ns I'm sure, and I still do the shirt thing. I do look at it differently now though, in fact, I find it kind of funny that it affects me so much. I think things seem a little less serious the older I get. It sounds like you do appreciate your parent's, as you should, so remember that and respect their wisdom. Our parent's were kids too, they get it.
 
I do the shirt thing too, and i also will say stuff like you when im angry and then i almost instantly regret it, and feel bad, i guess what you have to do is apologize if youve said something nasty to them, or really hurt their feelings, and then make it a point to do something nice for them, thats what i do at least

and then again, my mom has been known to basically shit on my life and make me feel bad for stupid stuff so i factor that in, but it sounds like your mom is ridiculously nice (steak dinner for you and your friends? thats awesome!)
 
look man, im not gonna be all its ok, thats nice you love you r parents and shit.

if your feeling like this everyday for really small reasons, you just need to grow up.
 
ya everything u said is kinda normal, ur older, who cares.

except the dinner thing. when i go out to eat i always just come home & eat a little.
 
Well dont feel like you are the only kid like this but i have the same exact problem.i could give examples but im tired
 
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