favorite seinfield qoutes

'I think they have 1 percent over there'

Jerry- '1 percent???, they can kiss one percent of my ass!!!!.'

____________________

Welcome to the Steep and Deep.

'Like the good book says, let he who is without sin throwest the first rock, and I shalt smoketh it!'-Tyrone Biggums
 
George: 'If you take everything I've accomplished in my life and condense it down into one day....it looks decent.'

Frank: 'HOOOOOOOCHIE MOMMA!!'

And the one where Putty tells Elaine she's going to hell is priceless.

And, by the way, it's finally coming out on DVD.

'Afterlife....if I knew I had to go through another life I'd kill myself right now'
 
georges answering machine: 'Believe it or not George isnt at home so leave a message after the beep. If i where here i'd pick up the phone. Oh where of where could i be? Im not hoooooome.'

If The women don't find you handsome... atleast they will find you handy

(Red Green)
 
kramer?

-Bon Bons

**Stept Productions**

Enom Headwear.

'got caught with underage drinking and a bong. anyone know what charges i could be facing?' -keukawake

'being a badass, first degree'- Melvs
 
ive looked into his eyes, he's pure evil.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

liberals think killing babies can be both fun and profitable, while conservatives think killing foreigners can be both fun and profitable - ice-is-scary

bitch, whered my watch go - simon, wrist deep...?
 
George---do women know about teh shrinkage

Jerry--- yeah just like a frightened turtle

«*$*Carney*$*»

One time at mount Mckay..........
 
"To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now, it's like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid."
 
"I think I cooked myself" Kramer

Frank Constanza - "She's got the jiminy arms, we had to get seperate beds, Kramer = you can get that in your arms?

"I think that hobo stole our rickshaw" Kramer and Newman

"Hamina Hamina.." Kramer

"Is that a titleist" Kramer

"Because it never stops, the mail just keeps coming and coming, and the more you put it off the more it piles up and then sweepstakes..." Newman

"That's genious, can I use that" Kenny Banyon

"Fire!...everybody under the desk" Steinbrenner
 
I want to get it. Smoked a fat blunt with my dudes last night and seinfeld was on. Didn't pay too much attention tho

Kramer "Jerry, try this cantalope"

Georges Boss "Paizanos"
 
George- "I was in the pool!!!"

Banyard- "thats Golden jerry"

Soup Nazi- "If i knew it was for you, i would have smashed it to peices with a hatchet"

Newman- "Jerry you went passed the 50% barrier, Nobody goes past 50%" when jerry was taking newmans job as the mail man

ahh soo many good quotes...
 
jerry-IM IN THIS CONTEST, THERES A NAKED LADY ACCROSS THE STREET, IM DATIN A VIRGIN ! SOMTHINS GOTTA GIVE KRAMER !
 
'i'd rather come dead last than win the silver medal. it's like saying.. congradulations, you almost won. out of all the people that lost, you came first in that category. you're the number one loser. nobody lost ahead of you.'
 
Elaine: "Well, maybe Newman's an enigma. A mystery wrapped inside a riddle."

Jerry: "Yeah, he's a mystery wrapped inside a twinkie."

Kramer: "C'mon, Jerry! I'm just asking to store my blood in your freezer!"

Jerry: "You're not storing any of your blood in my freezer, are we finished?"

Kramer: "Ehhhhh....done."
 
jerry to telemarketer(sp)- "no hes not here right now but if you could give me you home phone number, i can have him give you a call later at home. o you dont want me to call you at home? hm well now you know how i feel" haha golden i use that one all the time

and just when kramer walks through the door is awesome
 
Jerry-I know the chunky that left this chunky...NEWMAN!

Jerry-how bout a black and white cookie

Elaine-a black and white cookie those are terrible

Jerry-A black and white cookie terrible? Were talkin about black and white side by side in coherence with each other. Black and white living in wonderous harmony forever prooving the cooperativeness that our race can have! Black and white cookie a lesser cookie? i think not!
 
jerry- hey kramer you want to go down to the bronx with me and take flyers off georges car?

kramer- YEAH

jerry- i could have said just about anything couldnt i have

kramer- yup

Jerry- yeah im going out of town for the weekend

kramer- hey can some friends of mine stay in your apartment

jerry- i dont think so

kramer- oh come on jerry their really good people i met them at a rock concert

their anarchists jerry

kramer- jerrys gonna be a cable boy jerrys gonna be a cable boy
 
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born . . . a Festivus for the rest of us!

Cosmo Kramer: That must've been some kind of doll.

Frank Costanza: She was.
 
a woman opens the door to a changing room where george is changing out of his swimsuit. she looks down and starts laughing to which george says "i was in the pool! it was cold!" the woman rolls her eyes and walks away.

anything kramer does.

"newman!"

"get..out!"
 
Jerry "Ahhh hes gonna put the kaibash on me dont you know what the kaibash is its the kaibash!!"

kramer "the k-k-k-kaibash"
 
"VILE WEED!" "THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A SECOND SPITTER!" "YOU KNOW WHY SALSA'S THE NUMBER ONE CONDIMENT IN AMERICA? BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO SAY IT : SALSA!" oooo man, i could go on forever! hahaha good ol seinfeld
 
Hahaha that ones funny as fuck when shes feedin the dude the beans, what are the beans called arent they like Winky beans or some shit?
 
Jerry: mrs kramer can you turn the music down?

george: ask her about kramer.

Jerry: shes drunk out of her mind...
 
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