favorite seinfield qoutes

lj5

lj5

Active member
Kramer answering jerry's phone: What? vandela what? no you got the wrong number.

George while lying on the floor in his undrwear screaming: VANDELA INDUSTRY SAY VANDELA INDUSTRY

Jerry: And you wanted to be my latex salesman...

 
'fuck you, you fuckin heb'

-------------------------------

'i didnt really insult him, i just called him a fucken idiot' -Lateralis
 
'Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window'

'Fargas!'

'Some call it Myanmar, but it will always be Burhma to me.'

smokin weed flippin keys makin crazy gs
 
what a good show....did you know that in every episode they somehow imply superman into it....saw it on some tv thinger

Brian
 
shes a two face!

________________________

'uh-oh! weve drawn judge schnider.''is that bad''well i kinda ran over his dog''oh dear''well replace kinda with repeatedly, and dog with son'

the most horrible sound known to man, the crying of a mass of little girls. - skiierman

freeskigrl, this is between me and jd, stay out of it - QuickFlash7 regarding an internet fight

 
Jerry - 'i cant stop she thinks im naturally hairless'

Kramer - 'you've gotta, it will just grow in thicker and bushier than before'

Jerry - 'thats an old wives tale'

Kramer - 'oh yeah...' *backs up out of picture to reveal hairy chest*

i was going to go for a quad daffy but i was like, why huck? -mommy
 
seinfeld, pahty of far

~~~~~~~~~~~~

if i had no hands, id have a tee shirt that said, 'ever been stump fucked?' - cj
 
is there a marine biologist in the house????????

Talk about a hole in one!

I promoted my CVS and Stop and Shop card from the inside slits to the outside ones...my Blockbuster and gym ID got pissed off, but I told them, sorry guys, laminated plastics just can't cut it in the big leagues
 
its not a lie, if you beleive it...

Mercy's eyes are blue

When she places them in front of you

Nothing holds a roman candle to

The solemn warmth you feel inside

 
'You dip your chips the way you want, and...'

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
i like georges phone message:

believe it or not george isnt at home please leave a message at the beep, i must be out or i would pick up the phone, where could i be? believe it or not, im not home.

oh man that message is so cool.

'If she floats than she is not

A witch like we had thought'

'Like most babies smell like butter

his smell smelled like no other'

'She'll come back as fire, to burn all the liars,

And leave a blanket of ash on the ground.' - Kurt Cobain
 
Jerry: you've got a little problem here.

Kramer: Oh Its a big problem Jerry!

or the one about how the hamburger was eating/chasing him in his dream. Cant really remember though.

signatures are for pussies

 
Elaine: The Dingo Ate Your Baby(in the austrailian accent)

Your Toughtest Competitor Lives in Your Head. Some days his name is Fear. Or Doubt. Or Gravity. Stomp his Ass

I AM CANADIAN!!!

 
it's chocolate! It's peppermint, it's delicious!

(Kramer in reference to junior mints)

I promoted my CVS and Stop and Shop card from the inside slits to the outside ones...my Blockbuster and gym ID got pissed off, but I told them, sorry guys, laminated plastics just can't cut it in the big leagues
 
Jerry: (to George laying on his stomache with his pants around his ankles) 'And you want to be my laytex salesman.'

I own you
 
'mulva'

---------------------

Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

MiKeE: If Shaun White is hot I hope I'm ugly.

---

hoodratz47: sweet your now black....
 
there are too many...

'oh, and theyre real, and theyre spectacular.'

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
Jerry - Hello Newmen

giggidy giggidy gig-I-dee

acholcol makes me its bitch

some christian kid today: 'Get drunk off jesus'
 
'No soup for you!!!'

'Damn soup nazi.'

Jerry to his uncle Leo:'Look at you,you're handsome, at your age, you could pull ANY girl out there,why should you settle for an old HAG like Juliette?! Go out there, and enjoy life while you can!'

Next time he sees him: 'Go back for Juliette,seriously look in the mirror, you're the ugliest man I've ever seen,you can't pull anyone, barely even Juliette and I'm pretty sure she just feels sad for you.'

Helsinki Rock City
 
funny part

when he plays chess against his penis

when i was younger i thought he was playing against a guy in a helmet

RIDEblunt
 
I'M THE ASSMAN JERRY, THE ASSMAN!!!!

who watches the watchman?

slot machines made legal in Pennsylvania? next stop, the ninth level of HELL
 
'turn away, im hideous...'

anything Jackie Chiles says

**********************************************************************

Funny Bundy Quotes:

'Peg, is there any reason this cactus is where my alarm clock should be?'

'Remember our motto: We ain't got it.'

'We all have to live with our disappointments... I have to sleep with mine.'

'People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.'

 
Anything from Puddy:

We're the devils AHHHHHH

Peterman is also hilarious.

I forgot the quote but when Puddy and elaine are with the priest talking about hell.

Also for the guy about 10 posts up, kramer wasn't showing his hairychest to Jerry, we was showing his pubes.

 
'I think people just like to say SALSA, come on say it it jsut rolls off the tongue... SALSA, SALSA, SALSA. everyones saying it jsut for the fun of it'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some people talk it, some people live it, some people walk it-some people give it... deal with it.

D-Loc AKA Shaky Bones... Original, Unique, and One of a Kind.

land of the free???@#! haha right... free to the power of the people in uniform
 
SERENITY NOWW

or she had man hands

or SHES A REGIFTER!!!!

if they havent been said yet, which they should have been, since there classics

GO SOX

REALLY REALLY RIDICLOUSlY gOOD LOOKING
 
says kramer while wearing top hat, colorful trench coat, and holding a cane: 'I'M NOT A PIMP'

fat people should avoid buffets.
 
says kramer while wearing top hat, colorful trench coat, and holding a cane: 'I'M NOT A PIMP'

fat people should avoid buffets.
 
'Why dont you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see.'-Kramer

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan Maguire

Yankees Suck

'In rode the Lord of the Nazgul. A great black shape against the fires beyond, he loomed up, grown to a vast menace of despair. In rode the Lord of the Nazgul, under the archway that no enemy ever yet had passed, and all fled before his face.

All save one. There, waiting silent and still in the space before the gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax : Shadowfax, who alone among the free horses of the earth endured the terror, unmoving, steadfast as a graven image in Rath Dinen.'

'Dude, we're sick. He's pretty sick, but his muscles aren't as big as mine, so you know.'-CR Johnson
 
theres too many of them

_________________________________

line skis- because skiing needs a future

i wish mt hood blew up and all the ash and stones landed on my mountain and it became like 2000 feet taller - Bristolrider
 
George in Dayton, Ohio

With Shrimp platter

George: Hey lets see how many i can fit in my mouth at once

Former Co-Worker: Hey George the ocean called, theyre running out of shrimp

George: Yeah Well the jerk store called there running out of you

Former Co-Worker: Whats the difference youre theyre all-time best seller!

George:Yeah well i had sex with youre wife!

Chairman:his wife is in a coma...

Thats gold Jerry! Gold!

------------------

girls have the best DNA... but then they spit it out
 
Your killin be Jerry....ur killin me...

DO$

'Some ski for the fun of it.....I....I ski for the hell of it..'

 
goyter...what goyter

I was in the pool!!!!!!!

____________________

Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

òÄɧñ

PÜþlî© ÉÑémîʧ ²

 
i had 5 diff quotes and they were all said.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

ya, i know, mommy and daddy got me a cell hpone, but it was for safety reasons while driving the lexus they bought me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top