Favorite Pick-Up lines?

my love for you is like tesitcles. they hurt like a bitch when someone hit them with a baseball bat.

My love for you is like poop....it is stinky

my love for you is like Terry Schivo...it is dead

my love for you is like an asshole. it is a hairy crimpled little hole that discardes human feces when food is finished prcessing and sometimes ends up in my own pants or someone else's upper lip.

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would you like to try an australian kiss? its like the french kiss, but down under...

(touching her pants gently on the inner thigh) is this felt? (no) would you like it to be?

 
(make a siren noise) what's that? that's the ambulance coming to take me away cause the sight of you stopped my heart.

Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants

 
You must work for Chevy, cause you just made me like a rock

Where did you get your clothes, the toilet store?

D-Railed Productions

momentum session 2

skier8990 aim. talk to me if you like
 
have you ever been hunting... (no) .... well do you want to come up to my cabin this weekend and i will show you how to stuff some beaver
 
Someone had this as a sig a while back:

"Hey baby, I'll be a snowstorm tonight: You'll get 8-10 inches and wont be able to leave the house for 2 days."
 
if she says you have a small dick say " it may look like a needle, but it works like a sawin machine"

" did you know i have a 92% higher chance of gettin hit by lighting" she says why " becsue of my abbs of steel"

" i can get a hard on demand, want to see?"
 
are you sure youre not an alien? because you just abducted my heart.

how much does a polar bear weigh?

- idunno

enough to break the ice, hi my names -----

hey bitch, nice tits, lets fuck.
 
can i buy you a drink or would you just prefer the five dollars

Am i goodlooking enough yet or do you need more to drink

body is made up of 90% water and im thirsty

can i even get a fake number

you might as well sleep with me becasue im gonna tell everyone that we did anyway

you look like my second wife, and ive only been married once

all i can think of
 
not sure if it was posted but

If your left legs is thanksgiving and ur right leg is x-mas can i visit between the holidays?

U- How bout we go back to my place for some pizza and sex?

girl- eww no

u- whats wrong u dont like pizza?

- do u sleep on ur stomach?

g-no

- can I?
 
not sure if it was posted but

If your left legs is thanksgiving and ur right leg is x-mas can i visit between the holidays?

U- How bout we go back to my place for some pizza and sex?

girl- eww no

u- whats wrong u dont like pizza?

- do u sleep on ur stomach?

g-no

- can I?
 
Actual line delivered by a friend of mine, with sleeve rolled up and bicep flexed:

"See that? That's meat. That's filet mignon, that's prime rib. Are you a carnivore?"
 
The most generic of them all:

The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the word.
 
kind of like the other coin one but i like it better

"im gunna flip this coin if it lands on head i get tail

if it lands on tails i get head"

then flip
 
you know, at the ski mountain you have to pay to get on the chairlift. but you can ride these quads for free
 
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