Fav. Stand Up Comedian

that guy who talked about realistic video games and what music were ganna listen to when were older and stuff, fuck i forget his name

( . Y . )

SUMMER
 
Dean Cook

giggidy giggidy gig-I-dee

acholcol makes me its bitch

some christian kid today: 'Get drunk off jesus'
 
Russell Peters

- - - - -

'It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.' - Anne Frank
 
r5tommy, didnt he talk about how he likes to lift heavy stuff around his grandma

giggidy giggidy gig-I-dee

acholcol makes me its bitch

some christian kid today: 'Get drunk off jesus'
 
yea, and the grandma was like, ' im my goodness!!!, you should be fighting crime!!!'

( . Y . )

SUMMER
 
dane cook/daniel tosh/mitch hedberg

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Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

MiKeE: If Shaun White is hot I hope I'm ugly.

---

hoodratz47: sweet your now black....
 
Lewis Black and Richard Prior

Pete is currently sulking around Mt. Hood, shooting with Poor Boyz Productions and hitting on Kristi Leskinen. She hates guys, Pete lamented, so it’s not going good. Apparently Canada isn’t the only thing that’s tough for Pete to get into.

-kamikaze

 
pryor... chapple..... murphy.... leary.... carlin....rock....... sykes..... degeneres......lynch.......groucheo marx....

RRRRRAAAAZZZZMAAATAAAAZZZ

Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust

Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course
 
Mitch Hedburg yo

'Ok, punching ain't your thing...but that's ok, you're not that kind of fighter!' -Moe
 
George Carlin.

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'i didnt really insult him, i just called him a fucken idiot' -Lateralis
 
Carlin, I love his people who ought to be killed lists. 'here's the next batch of people who should be thrown screaming from a helicopter. here are some people who should be bashed repeatedly with a hammer.' so great. 'fuck brad and anyone who looks like brad.'

greatest standup in my opinion.

'If she floats than she is not

A witch like we had thought'

'Like most babies smell like butter

his smell smelled like no other'

'She'll come back as fire, to burn all the liars,

And leave a blanket of ash on the ground.' - Kurt Cobain
 
Russel Peters. Rebel knows where it's at.

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer). Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.

You have been warned…

 
Andy Kuffman. I haven't seen alot of him doing it, but of what i saw i love the guy.

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Team Fresh
 
Pryor - Live! When he is in Long Beach, is unquestionably the funniest standup ever and Eddie and Chris Rock openly admit to stealing everything from him.

 
gotta keep it real w/ Seinfeld, Dane is great, Eddie Murphy

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Funny Bundy Quotes:

'Peg, is there any reason this cactus is where my alarm clock should be?'

'Remember our motto: We ain't got it.'

'We all have to live with our disappointments... I have to sleep with mine.'

'People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.'

 
dane cook, andy kaufman, dennis leary, or kevin james maybe

...RUN FOR COVER PRODUCTIONS...

 
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