Family guy quotes

"A boats a boat but a mystery box could be anything! - It can even be a boat! Lois you know how much we've always wanted one of those."

Stewie: "Brian, now suck on Lois's nipple"

Brian: "Idk lois he does have a gun"

Chris: "I'll do it!"

^not exactly sure about the second one
 
talking to lois

Guy: nice mellons

peter: woa

Lois: Peter I'm holding melons

Guy: her hooters aint bad either

Peter: Now wait

Lois: Peter I'm holding hooters

I think i screwed that up and the only reason i thought it was funny cause they called owls hooters
 
Chris and Meg are being homeschooled when this scene takes place

Lois: "Chris stop passing notes. Come read the note to the class."
Chris: "I think Mrs. Griffin is hot."
 
not a direct one but from my mind so it may be slightly off
Peter: This reminds me of the time I pranked patients as a doctorScenePeter: Sir Im sorry to tell you that your wife is going to be a vegietable, you will have to bathe her and feed her for the rest of her lifeGuy: Oh my goood!! thats horrible!!!Peter: Naaaa just kidding, shes dead
one of the funniest especially since its kinda like, wtf did they just do?!?
 
not really a quote but when brian dares stewey to run around the mall naked and when stewey comes back brian goes is it cold in here and stewey says nope just reallly small
 
Meg: Dad you're a pretty good speller.

Peter: And you're a fart smeller Meg. [as he holds her face to his anal region and rips ass]

so funny, i may have messed it up a bit
 
the episode where peter grows a mustache, and he's in the store where the italian guy works:

peter: Ba piribopa?
 
Don't be sad peter, thats why they call it shpoople!

(or as they pronounce it, "Dun't be sayd payter, thayts why they call it shpoople!")

After peter lost to world shpoople champion, fjurg van der ploege.
 


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bad version but its one of my favorite scenes
 
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Peter is talking to meg and louis comes out:

Louis: Who would like a glass of lemonade

Peter: What I want is a glass ob better daughter

It's always funny when they make fun of Meg
 
guy: Complete the following phrase "Land of the free and home of the .... blank?"

Peter: UHHHH? Whopper
 
gets me everytime.. or when Peter crashes through Koolaids wall and koolaid says "actually its pretty annoying from this side'

quagmire 'ive never had a spanish chick before... oolay!'

 
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