Essay on "Why I Ski"

low_fidelity

low_fidelity

Active member
had to write this fo english class. Here is the begginging, third paragraph is the best.

StartFragment

Why I Ski

At

a very young age, around three or four, I was handed my first pair of skis:

Noisy yellow Salomon Scream’s, about 130 cm high. I was then put through five

grueling years of “hup two three four” boot camp style ski lessons. When I

truly learned to ski was at the age of eight when I raced. From then on all

that filled my stream of consciousness was skiing. Soon after I found out about

Lego’s and completely forgot bout skiing for several years. Finally, when I was

15 I found out how much skiing truly meant to me.

I have always skied for as long as I have known, almost all

of my normal memories can be found between the millions of reminicsnint skiing experiences

that fill my brain. Born in a heavily skiing influenced family (Mom skid on the

U.S. Ski Team) and the second to last boy in a family of four boys, it was hard

to find something unique, something different that my two ‘role models’ ahead

of me already hadn’t done. Within skiing I found a feeling not felt since my

first viewing of The Sandlot, since my first taste of a Little Debbie

product, since my first hearing of Forever Changes. A feeling that some never

capture in a lifetime. Most think that in skiing I found an escape, a cookie

cutter place to leave the monotonous drone of everyday life that everyone looks

to escape. But what I found was so much more; these four reasons why I ski are

so much more:

Pure

Pleasure. The push to be innovative while still having fun, the desire to

capture your own unique amounts of hilarity and skill into ‘edits’, the

acceptance into a high-spirited community. Very few get to experience racing

friends down a dangerously steep mountain, every thought pushing you 5 mph

upwards. Rarely does someone get to find pleasure in the completeness of

linking a formulaically impossible combination, from spinning downwards onto a thin

rail to changing directions and idea and changing back again before you are

even off. And no one can experience the sensation you have, the inner aura you

find when you rush off the lip of a jump with an 8f ft ice gap between you and a

torn acl. This is dangerous and scary enough then you harshly grip the metallic

edges of your ski and rip your body in a spinning motion only to stop after 900

degrees and land it all back wards with a comedic amount of style known to many

in the community as ‘afterbang’.

EndFragment

 
i thought it was pretty damn good

made me wanna ski real bad specially the 3rd paragraph

except the very last sentence on afterbang... kinda killed it in my opinion

 
haha yeh i know i know this was just my first draft all written in like 30 minutes so i havent had a chance to edit it yet. ill put up the rest later
 
Honestly, for a high school paper, that was pretty bad.Your ideas are there, but you really need to work on your basic structuring and punctuation. Present your ideas more clearly.
It needs some work, but for your expectations I'm sure it'll be fine.
 
there is one "g" in beginning.
maybe you should read a book (or make use of spell check)?
 
Did you read through that even once??

You have some good ideas to convey, but it sounds kinda like it was written by someone who has english as their second language. You should try writing more how you speak, because thats how the reader is going to interpret it in their head.

 
hahaha honestly dude? some of the books i have read are probably so far beyond your comprehension its not even funny. i don't wanna start anythin but that argument is just plain stupid. Ever heard of Louis Ferdinand Celine? Yevgeny Zamyati? Henry Adams? Hahahaha even Kerouac or Sinclair Lewis?

and to everyone hating on the grammer i just threw this part up here like 15 mins after writing it haha havent even had a chance to edit anything but hey i don't mind! I'm positive, never negative. Just put it up for the context hoping some people might enjoy it
 
why wouldnt you wait till you revised it. you knew this would get hated on right?

i personally had to re-read a lot of it just to figure out what you were trying to say.
 
honestly i thought NS would put that aside and appreciate it for the content. and yeh its pretty choppy and doesnt really flow to well writing wise
 
We are members of the same NS right? ha '

Well i did mention you had some good ideas. Repost when finished!
 
reallly broken up... not just in terms of grammar and punctuation either. The imagery you've assembled is less than the sum of its parts. It's not going anywhere. It seems like a brainstorm more than anything resembling a narrative. So if this is about "why [you] ski" then it should be drawing some sort of conclusion not merely tumbling out sentence after scarcely related sentence. Also a lot of the depictions you've included are either a) somewhat cliche or b) just plain scatterbrained, like you wrote them with a magnetic refrigerator poetry set. I don't remember the quote exactly but the one with the cookie cutter needs a lot of work; cookie cutter and monotonous refer to similar concepts but you're trying to establish a juxtaposition? Its like wookies on endor... it just doesn't make sense.
 
You're right. As you've clearly demonstrated a paramount proficiency in your English, my "plain stupid" argument really holds no ground. With such a poignant topic as "why I ski", and in conjunction with flawless grammar and structuring, I couldn't even begin (begginning...) to comprehend such linguistic wizardry.
And then you go and drop the (name)bomb...L.F. Celine? Sinclair Lewis (Hahahaha)? Nope...never heard of them. I must have missed my high school English reading list.It's ok though. They're probably so far beyond my comprehension that it isn't even funny.
Well. Let me know how that paper goes. I know 500 words is a big limit, and high school is quite stressful. I know that with your keen intellect and stunning draft, it shouldn't be a problem.
 
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