Escalades Suck

SkiMN

SkiMN

Active member
Anybody who thinks they want one seriously needs to reconsider. Its GM, as is Chevy. Its basically the same thing as a Chevy Tahoe, except a bit bigger and a slight bit more plush. Its also plastic, the better part of the whole damn car. The only good thing is that it rides nice as hell, and has a big touch screen thing for the radio and navigation system. You pay an extra ten grand or more for a bit better suspension, a screen, and the ability to say you have an escalade.

My mom got one about a year ago. I've been driving it, and found out how much I hate auto 4-wheel drive. You dont know if you are on 4 wheels or not, and you cant turn it on manually. It also has a spedometer that goes way to high, so it goes in increments of 20mph instead of 10. Thats just a pain, like you need to or will ever go 180.

Today my mom was giving my tired ass a ride to and from an orthodontist appointment. We were on the way home when a deer ran out in front of us. She never got it off cruise, which was set at 60. Lets just say the deer got pwned. We nailed its back end, then it got pegged by a diesel pickup in the other lane. The I say threason is is that I can rant even more about how the whole damn thing is plastic. When we pulled into the garage, there was steam coming from the radiator. It was also dripping. Upon further examination, we found the grill was totally shattered on one side. The radiator was bent like shit, and smashed way back into whatever was behind it. I had exected that for something over 40 grand you would at least get a grill that was made of something a bit stronger than plastic. If it were just shatter proof, we wouldnt have had to get the thing towed aes of shattered way. That car has about ten piecplastic grill in the back end. Fuckin plastic. For that much money they could at least give you some metal on the thing, right?
 
wait wait wait...(now that ive read it)

YOU HIT A DEAR GOING 60MPH

thats your first problem.

and secondly, stop bitchin, that 4wd and all that technology that is in the stearing/braking systems probably saved your ass from sliding out when you hit the deer.

third, it actually has a steel mesh grille plate, so i dont know what you mean by "plastic"

escalades are big ass trucks, and they are not all plastic (not the important parts) if they made all those plastic parts metal the truck would be well over 10 tons. the frame/unibody (not sure to be honest) is soem strong ass shit. and cars are made with crumble zones, so the impact doesnt effect you much. all that "plastic" breaking was absorbed energy that you didnt feel.
 
"pulled into the garage, there was steam coming from the radiator. It was also dripping. Upon further examination, we found the grill was totally shattered on one side. The radiator was bent like shit, and smashed way back into whatever was behind it. I had exected that for something over 40 grand you would at least get a grill that was made of something a bit stronger than plastic"

i really cant believe your ignorance on this.
 
" Upon further examination, we found the grill was totally shattered on one side. The radiator was bent like shit, and smashed way back into whatever was behind it. I had exected that for something over 40 grand you would at least get a grill that was made of something a bit stronger than plastic. "

YOU HIT A FUCKIN DEAR GOING 60! YOU DRIVE AN ESCALADE, NOT A TANK.
 
Ok, this was worded a bit wrong, and I left out something.

They are, in fact, one damn good vehicle. You pay way, way too much, and they get too much, um how do ya say this, publicity? If you payed less they would be a sick car, but you pay thousands extra for a funny looking tahoe with a screen on the dash. Also, the auto 4WD thing sucks for another reason. We live on a gravel road, it meets the paved road just over a hill, so you have to give her hell and sometimes you still pull out in front of somebody. One time, I started going and saw a car, but I was already committed. My solution was to floor it. I spun and went nowhere for a slit second, then the 4WD kicked in. Major wiplash. Nuff said.
 
exactly. you cant expect a a car to hit a deer going 60 and come out undamaged. and if all the plastic parts were metal, that thing couldnt hit 60mph. quit bitching about how much your big ass expensive escalade is and be grateful that you have the luxury of being able to afford a car that expensive.
 
your escalade had steam coming out of its radiator.

that deer had intenstines coming out of its ass.

you're lucky you weren't in a lotus. the car would have crumpled around the deer.
 
IF THE BUMPER WAS OK, AND HE HOOD WAS OK, WHY THE HELL DID THE FUCKIN GRILL SHATTER?!

And to the person who said if all the plasic were metal you wouldnt go 60-

I dont expect ALL the plastic to be metal, I just think the grill, being somewhat important, could be made of a lightweight material, such as sheet aluminum, that would not shatter.

All this rant is saying is that for that much extra money, you would think you could get a vehicle thats a cut above the cheaper version, not the other way around.
 
hey buddy, 1) SUVs in general suck, 2) have you ever heard of a crumple zone, the front of the car and back corners are designed to crumple on impact to reduce the shock of an impact so the passengers sustain less injury 3) a deer is a huge animal, lots of cars that hit deers are actually totaled,
 
Think about it, the hood is a solid piece of metal, the bumper is a block of metal connected to the entire front of the car, the grill is a piece of 'plastic' or whatever connected at 4 points to these solid pieces. Of course it's gona shatter; use your head.
 
Dude, the Escalade is designed for rappers and rich soccer moms. Its a Cadilac...not the original Hummer. If you hit a deer doing 60 and the only thing fucked is your grill, you got way lucky, hitting a deer can kill you (their hoves are like razor blades)
 
Alright, fuck it. Nobody seems to see my point. I'm simply trying to say that when my mom got the Escalade I was expecting something way better than the tahoe we used to have, and I was really dissapointed. I just think for that much extra money they could give you more than some cool wood looking trim and a touchscreen. Yes, I know a deer can kill. This is a fuckin Escalade, its not a small car, the deer however was small. I just think the thing should still have been drivable. Maybe I am really pissed over nothing, maybe I should be grateful I'm alive. I just expected far more from something that costs that much. Rant over.
 
what do you think.......

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Oh yeah, I forgot. These things are made to be driven at 35 down city streets. My bad, I cant expect much at all I guess.
 
they run on premium gas too. My brothers roommate has one and it costs like $100 to fill.
 
i see what hes saying, and i do agree with him. Yes i know there is a crumple zone and yes it isnt a tank. But a grill is one of those things that shouldnt be a cheap part on a 45+ grand vehicle. All this kid is saying is that maybe get a little more what you pay for.
 
Oh beautiful for smoggy skies

and insectacided plains

for strip mine mountains majesty

above the asphalt plains

America, America

God shed his waste on thee

and hide the pines with billboard signs

from sea to oily sea
 
your lucky that you only had a smokin radiator.

disclaimer do not look on a weak stomache, or in a classroom, please dont ban me!
 
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